What partners should do?

Ok I’m starting this topic because my g/f starts chemo next week. I would say my wife but since gay marriages are prohibited here in Greece…
Anyway. I’m worried about my attitude during this chemo trip she is about to experience for the first time. So any tips on that are more than welcome.
If you can advise partners to do their “job” right please do so. Thank you

Hi NeuroMancer

I’ve put for you below links to a couple of BCC’s publications you might find helpful.

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/chemotherapy-breast-cancer-bcc17

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/it-together-partners-people-breast-cancer-bcc120

I hope these help.

Take care,

Jo, Facilitator

Hello neuromancer

I am sorry you find yourself here, bc is a beast. However, i have found untold support on these forums as i go through my own bc journey.

Apart from the breast cancer care publications, there is a huge amount of support available for other halves on the McMillan site and all their publications are free.

I finished chemo 6 weeks ago and it was tough but you do get some good days and we made the most of them. We all react differently so it is hard to give any advice, you will find your own ways of coping. Chemo is serious toxic stuff and it affects us emotionally as well as physically. My OH struggled with feelings of impotence, he was unable to make it better for me and had never seen me ill before.

I needed support from other women who were going through treatment and those who had gone through it. From my OH, i needed practical support, household chores, changing my bed, keeping me supplied with fluids, clean pyjamas and giving me space to just get through the rough days.

Now that part of my journey is over, we can see that it has brought us closer together as a couple, we have experienced this together and come out the other side, a bit greyer, a bit wiser and with a whole new set of values. There is a silver lining.

Good luck to you both

Pixie x

Hello to you both.
I had FEC-T Chemotherapy last year and coped really well. I was never sick , just felt tired and exhausted. The worst part for me was the terrible sore mouth so as a partner I would say be prepared with plenty of ice lollies to soothe your girlfriends mouth. Also you could make her a fruit smoothie when she does not feel like eating. Most of all just curl up on the sofa together and keep your love for one another alive. Be aware that your partner may get a high temperature so you will need a thermometer to take it regularly. I hope you both cope with it okay. Take good care of yourselves .

hi neuromancer just be there like others have said we all cope different ,i just like to do things my way my hubby just waits for me to ask him to help cause he never nos when i want it he brings me stuff like pixie says he just there when i need him …u should join the august thread for chemotherpy lots of ladies to help you and your partner on this journey …good luck to you both

Hi neuromancer,
Again the best advice is to sit back and w as it to be asked, be prepared for the grumps, random tears but most of all the sleepless nights to support if she has the side effects of vomiting. My partner has been amazing, he just quietly waits for me to ask and keeps me constantly supplied with fluids, yummy foods and ice lollies

Victoria x