well here i am, in a place thats totally alian to me. i was diagnose two days ago after visiting my doc 4wks ago with a lump. I do not know or have ever known anyone with any kind of cancer so am clueles. I am due to go in hospital on 19th of december for a wide circle something or other and sentinal lymph thing. lol all this termanology is going rite over my head. Anyway i have been offered the option of a masectomy but am told that it will be just as safe to have the wide circle something or other and dont know what to do for the best. Any advice will be welcome. And can anyone tell me how to stop crying lol
Hi Jane
Welcome to the BCC forums. I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis, I am sure you will find support and information here. Whilst you await replies from your fellow users you may find our resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
In addition to the support you will recieve here, if you feel it would help to talk to someone in confidence about the concerns and queries you have, then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. They can offer you a listening ear, support and information about other services we can offer you to help you through this difficult time. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi,
Sorry you have had to join us,you will get lots of support on here.
Its a very dark place when you are newly diagnosed and very scary.You will learn a whole new language!
The wide circle thing you refer to will be a wide local excision (WLE) which is basically a lumpectomy.They do however need to take away a “margin” from around the tumour to make sure they have got it all.
The sentinel lymph biopsy is when they use a dye and radioactive stuff to check which gland is the first in line in your lymphatic system so they can check that for cancer.
You will find advice on here re the operation and recovery.
Try not to read too much more though as its scary and not always relative to you.
Have they told you what grade/size it was?
Ask away,any questions,we will help all we can
As for the crying,thats totally normal so don’t beat yourself up about it.Try to find things to distract you for short periods,maybe organising a bag for hospital,christmas plans etc.Its a really rubbish time of year to be diagnosed.
Hugs
Dot
x
Hi
It is very scary and Dotchas is right you do learn a new language and I’ve found out about parts of the body I didn’t know I had lol. I had a mastectomy, didn’t have the choice but my sister and cousin were given this choice and chose mastectomy as both felt they wanted to"make sure" it was all removed and not return in that breast. Both just felt happier with that choice. It is an individual decision and whats right for one isn’t always right for another if you know what I mean. Hopefully some women will post who have had to make this choice who maybe of more help to you. The crying? well I cried buckets, but once I knew my treatment I was able to focus on something and this helped me. I wished I had known about this forum when I was first dx 2 years ago I think it would have really helped me, everyone knows how you are feeling and have been wonderful with their support. Please keep posting and ask away.
Take care
Lynne x
hi dot… thanks for your message of support because strangley enough everyone seems to be ringing my partner and asking about me rather than asking me myself and i feel like a third party in all of this. i think my tumour is 3cm and type one but have been told it could change to type two when they do the op. your not kidding about the time of year. i went shopping yesyerday to try take my mind of things but just seemed to get angry with everyone one for going about their lives normally and having nothing more than christmas to wrry about. Does that make me selfish? Am having my hair cut tomorrow because they are 99% i will have chemo just after christmas so want to get used to it short. rite going to pack my hospital bag now do you think they will laugh at me if i take my teddy? havent been in hospital before and am quite scared. Am 44 by the way
Hi Jane
I know what you mean, I went food shopping after my dx and felt the same it seems surreal and it felt too normal if that makes sense. I did the same with my hair but I remember worrying about how to tie a scarf coz I’d never worn one. Trivial or what. I’m 45, do you have any children.
Snap ,I am 44 ,and I took my teddy! By the time I left the hospital my end of the ward looked like a branch of Hamleys Toy shops!
I had a mastectomy (July) so was in for nearly a week and all my visitors brought cuddly toys!
The nurses are angels in Breast wards and really kept me sane!
I was originally having a WLE but I had 2 lumps and then another was found (greedy aren’t I?) so mastectomy was advised.
3cm is not huge and grade 1 is good (1 is best 3 is worst)
I was prepared for chemo but fortunately didn’t need it but just look at it as chucking all you can at this bl**dy disease.I sometimes worry that I should have been given it but I guess theres always a worry with BC.
Its good that people are phoning ,try to chat to some of them yourself .It gets easier.
You are not selfish,I am sure we all resent 2 boobed cancer free women at some point! LOL!
Try not to worry about the surgery as it really is quite routine (not to you I know) and very straightforward.Are you getting out the same day?
Take care,
Dot
xxx
Hi Jane,
so sorry you have joined us but you will get so much support and information on here as well as new friends walking the same path. Very few of us if any expected to get BC so we know how you feel. I would like to tell you that you can do this. I don’t know what your details are, so it is difficult to be specific. I have had the operations, sentinel node biopsy (SNB) and chemotherapy and I am now on radiotherapy. I was overwhelmed by the amount of appointments and things to be done, without the cr.p fact that you have it at all and the dark thoughts that come into your head. My tip would be to just think about the very next thing you have to be done and not to look at everything in one go.
Back to your questions, I could have had a mastectomy or a lumpectomy but surgeon pushed me towards a lumpectomy. I had the op and 15 days of radiotherapy instead of a mastectomy.This involves no needles and is lying on a bed for under 10 minutes in my case. The bonus side of this is that my figure is virtually the same as before, except for the surgery scars. Most surgeons are also plastic surgeons and do an excellent job, worth checking your surgeon is one. They take out the tumour and a bit extra round it, then they move your breast tisuue around to make a good shape. My tumour was right on the top so it would have shown if I had low tops. He made the scar much further down and it looks like a thin pink felt pen line now. Mine was done on April 1st this year and I am amazed how well they did it. I had a slight dent but that filled up over the next few months. So lumpectomy you get to keep your breast, so no need to wear a prothesis (falsy) or have reconstruction surgery, much smaller scar and many people look the same as before (depends on size of tumour ). Downside is that you also have to have some weeks of radiotherapy at the end and if the surgeon does not get it all first go, (so if they find cancer cells on the margins of the piece they remove) you have to have more taken out so another op. The SNB means you have a tiny radioactive injection and they trace the main nodes called sentinel nodes. It is minimal surgery and my scar is just over an inch long. Otherwise they take a much larger section from under your arm and getting mobility back can sometimes be much harder.
Just ask if I can help at all. I am sure others who chose a mastectomy will let you know why they chose it, a lot of people have no choice as they more than one cancer area or it is too large. On a personal note I would still make the same decision as I was devastated at the thought of losing my hair let alone a breast. But that is just me and likewise you must decide what os right for you. We are fortunate to be given the choice, many ladies do not sadly.
Big hugs and it will be ok, you might find others with the same decision to make by doing a search or looking on the surgery part too. Lots and lots of luck
Lily x
Hi Jane, A very scary time for you and it’s natural to cry and cry if you need to! Don’t beat yourself up about it. I was diagnosed 7 weeks ago and am getting over surgery. I find taking each day at a time is my way of coping and pushing away any negative thoughts that are not useful. I am new to the site and it seems great to talk to others.
As everyone has said, sorry you have had to join us, but this is a great place for support and information. I found lump in August, had lumpectomy and Sentinal node Biopsy in October. They got clear margins around the lump but had a couple of cancerous lymph nodes so had to go back in November for Full Axillary Clearance (the rest of the armpit nodes removed). I was terrified of surgery, never had any before, I’m 53. For the 2nd op I asked for a “pre-med” which helped with the anxiety. I’m now recovering from the 2 ops and waiting to start chemo after Christmas. Then rads, then 5 years hormone treatment.
The worse time was just after diagnosis, I was in a terrible panic, but it does get easier to cope with as you go through your BC journey. Best of luck 
Helen x
Hi: Just browsing thru this and then started to read. I think everyone has said the same thing – it is all hateful but you can deal with this and get on with your life.
By the way, Grade 4 is the worst – I think with that they just take you outside and shoot you! Joke!!! Do know girl who had grade 4, she had the full mast and is now fit and healthy and running three children’s nurseries in Leamington Spa. There is life after………
Like Lily, I just had the WLE on 10 March. Lily and I have travelled this road together having our chemo on the same days but in different parts of the country – she is in Chelmsford and I’m near Rugby. My surgeon said that with my early cancer and small tumour – 2.8cm he was convinced that the WLE and lymph clearance (24 gone, 1 cancerous) it would be successful. If I had wanted to talk about anything else – mastectomy – he would be happy to do so but didn’t think it was necessary, I took his word. My lump was also on the top of my boob and I have thin scar which is hardly noticeable. Under the arm ain’t so pretty but not many people look under there – mind you at 61 not many people look at my boobs either!!!
I am now waiting to do the rads, I finished the chemo on 25 Nov and celebrated with champers and fireworks with neighbours.
My worst part was between being diagnosed and the op – which had to be delayed as I had a chest infection – caused by stress I think. My stress was so bad that the Americans didn’t need to send that probe to Mars, I could have told them what was on the backside as I was up there!!!
When you are up to it, do some research and find out as much as you can about treatment, drugs, etc. It does help when you are talking to the Onc or the BCN (Breast cancer nurse) and can at least understand what is going on. Oh, and don’t stop asking questions – if it doesn’t make sense, keep asking!!
Hugs to all – you will be fine.
Julia
xxxx
PS; Lost the hair about week three of Epi (if you are having that) but just bought great wigs, changed colour and style and had a bit of fun.
J
Hello Jane
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis but you’ll find this site a great help. I was diagnosed just before Christmas two years ago and had my surgery on 20th December 2006 - dreadful time of year to be diagnosed I agree. I had a WLE and was told that a WLE followed by radiotherapy is as effective as a full mastectomy.
I knew nothing about breast cancer when I was diagnosed and learned about it in gradual stages as I went through each stage of surgery and treatment.
Good luck - and definitely take your teddy into hospital.
Anthi x
hi also newly diagnosed and terrified. had op on 9th dec[diagnosis on 19th nov] WLE and removal of lymph glands. comments allready made have really helped me. i know how just how jane feels i tried the christmas shopping tac but kept having to dump shopping and leave store in tears.i am very very good at the brave face for everyone so no one really understands how scared and lonely this is for me.except maybe you lovely people. thanks
hi kittyw. so sorry your here with everyone else. how did your op go? were you under for long? i understand how scared you are. i am terrified… for the op… for the treatment… most of all for the future.
i know am probably being parranoid but i keep imagioning this god damb horrible thing is everywhere inside me. am trying to be possative and just been listening to youll never walk alone, u know the line, at the end of a storm theres a golden sky and it made me feel quite strong but then again i have been feeling beter as the day goes on, its when i wake in the morning (yes i have been sleeping the whiskeys great lol) it hits me all over again. the messages of support on here are fantastic. as you say its like the wonderful women on here are the only ones who truly understand
take care x
Hi Jane
Good luck for your op on the 19th. I had a mastectomy Jan 06 (I wasnt given a choice) but I just wanted to tell you that the op went well, I remember waking up with my eyes closed (I thought I was at home)and thought it will all be over later today. I opened my eyes and saw a nurse sat besides me -it was all done! I had no pain at all but was sick later in the day and they gave me anti-sickness. They kept offering me pain killers but I there wasnt any pain.
My advice is just take it one step at a time and cry when you want to. I cried the first weekend (whenever I wanted to) then the next week I had a 10min cry every day, if I missed my cry I fell worse the next day. After the op I cried much less but everyone is different.
Much love
Sue
hi sue thanks for your comments, i hope my op goes smoothley as yours and i wake up feeling like i am at home. well i just hope i wake up lol Just pondered your addvice and your rite. One day at a time get on with op then worry about the rads and chemo after. So came to conciouse desission that from now on thats what i am going to do. Well try to do lol. Still not made mind up over wli or mx. Will decide after chat with bc nurse on tue, ask about chance of bc retuning same breast
Hi All
Im recently dx with grade 3 ER,PR,HER2 +, had WLE on 13th November and just had treatment results. Got to have 6 months chemo ( 3x epirubicin 3 x CMF) then 5 weeks radio then a year Herceptin! I’m absolutly terrified. I have a 1 year old baby and 5 year old so thankfully the dr said it wld be ok to put the treatment off till new years eve so i cld at least make the most of xmas and son’s bday. Im 38 and feel like ive been given a death sentence. Havn’t managed to get through a day yet without crying and when i look through the comments from the ladies on this sight i long to found the strength and courage to fight this horrible disease. I know this might sound trivial to some people but i am terrified at the thought of loosing my hair. Please if anyone has or is going through the same treatment plan as myself, could you advice me on how it went. Will i wake up one morning in 2 wks time and find my whole head of hair on the pillow? Going to the hospital on Tue to see the “wig woman”, on my goodness never did i dream that i wld have to attend such an appointment. Would be gratefull if anyone cld advice me on what to expect after my 1st chemo as i have 2 little ones to look after and i also need to work - will this be possible? Carn’t believe how scared i feel at the thought of not seeing my babies grow up. Sorry to sound so negative to you all but im tired of putting on a happy face all the time to the close people around me.
Love Helen x
Hi Helen
I have added the link to a Breast Cancer Care publication called ‘Breast cancer and hair loss’ which you may find helpful to read:
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/hairloss_2004_v2_0.pdf
The booklet also contains information about our free ‘HeadStrong’ workshops which explore the many issues faced by people experiencing hair loss which may be available in an area near you, for more details and further support please contact our confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000, Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.
Best wishes
Lucy
Helen, you may care to ask the Oncology nurse if you can have the “cold cap” along with the chemo. I had FEC x 6, and the nurse said the cold cap is not suitable for all chemo treatments, but it can’t hurt to ask. She also said it only worked in about 10% of cases, but I was more terrified of losing my hair than having the treatment. Luckily for me, it worked - my hair went very thin on top, and stopped growing, but I never needed to wear the wig - which I got free with an NHS voucher up to £120 although I am not on any benefits. It does prolong the treatment time, as you need to wear the cap (like a motor cycle helmet which is attached to a small freezer unit beside the chemo chair) for a half hour before chemo starts, and an hour afterwards. I am retired so the extra time didn’t matter, but may well do for you with very small children and a job. When my hair did start growing, I had tight curls like Kylie Minogue - brilliant, just had to wash it, put my fingers through it and go - didn’t even need the hairdrier or hotbrush.
Best of luck with the chemo - make sure you take the anti-nausea meds as directed, even if you don’t feel sick. It is too late if you start throwing up.
Take care,
Liz.