Hi
My friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer (7cm tumour) and is scheduled for a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery early next week. She is experiencing real frustration at the lack of help and support available to her from the hospital. It has taken her 5 weeks of constantly chasing the hospital to get her confirmation letter of date of surgery (she only received it yesterday and surgery is next week). Her counsellor hasn’t been returning her calls and all in all it’s been a real nightmare for her.
Now the operation date is almost here, she is now stressing about the details, pre and post operatively, such as what should she pack? does she need a special bra post operatively? She hasn’t received any guidance on this at all.
I am so angry on her behalf, she was in tears this morning on the phone as she needs to focus on the small details, just to keep her sanity and no one seems to be able to help her.
I would be so grateful to hear from anyone who has been through this, who can give me as much as information as possible that I can pass onto my friend. If I can relieve a little bit of her stress by giving her some information, then hopefully it will help.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks.
Oh my goodness, what a truly awful experience for your friend. Just want to one wish her all the best and two, how lucky she is to have such a lovely supportive friend in you.
Love J x
Hi Foxy.
I would encourage you to get your friend to phone the helpline number on this site asap, the nurses will be able to give her all the info she needs especialy about bras etc & hopefuly put her mind at rest abit. Does she have a breast care nurse at the hospital she could ring? My advice would be for her to pack some clothes that are loose & comfortable, she probably won’t want to be raising her arm much so front fastening clothes would be better than over the head ones. Some nice magazines, a couple of good books & maybe books on cd with a little cd player, its quite nice to be able just to relax & listen to something if you are tired, helps if you are worried too. Tell her not too worry too far ahead, if shes got you you’ll no doubt be able to pop out & get her what she feels she needs as she goes along.My friend came with me to the hospital and was able to stay, so she kept me company until i went to theatre and was there when i got back to the ward, hopefully you will be able to do the same for her. The nurses & health care assistants were really kind & looked after me well so hopefully that will be your friends experience too. Wishing her all the best,
Rivergirl.
Hi Foxy,
Your poor friend, as if it’s not terrifying enough without feeling abandoned and confused. Personally I took in really loose clothing but didnt really use anything until close to last day of my stay, I couldnt really be bothered to change. I think audio books are a great idea maybe magazines too if she’s having one breast done.
She might want a pillow of her own, I found the hospital ran out and I had a friend bring one in. I actually bought a V-pillow (as I was told this would be very helpful) I didnt really find it useful until I came out of hospital, but that’s just me!
I wanted sugar free mints to freshen my breath, but mouth wash would do too, I had bilateral Mastectomies and found it impossible for a while to get up and felt quite unrefreshed, I also took facial wipes/wet wipes.
I was told to get a sports bra from M & S which I did, the breast care nurses gave me a code for the style, but a very simple one would be good, nice and smooth. BUT this depends on what her surgeon wants, some say to wear one some say not, I didnt wear one for the first day or two and then was told to do so.
I also took in a bottle of water so that I always had some to hand.
If you friend wants to take Pyjamas or a nightdress, make sure they button up at the front so she can easily remove them!!
I’d take slippers and or bed socks, so she’s not walking on the floor barefoot at all.
Also see if you can find out if the hospital she is going to offers any kind of therapies, it’d be good to book a really soothing and gentle one for a few days after the surgery, nothing intrusive, something like ‘The metamorphic technique’ or a hand and foot massage etc…after all that invasive, prodding n poking its nice to remind yourself that you can be touched with care and gently!
I hope some of that is helpful.
And I wish you and your friend all the best!! XX
Ladies
Thank you so much for all your advice, all of which I will pass on later today. Had been planning to put together a small pack for her to take to hospital and will make sure I include all these items and a few others too. I had thought about the therapy thing, but wasn’t aware that some hospitals offer this. Will contact the hospital and find out if they do offer this.
She is having a mastectomy followed by reconstructive flap surgery, so a very long op 10 hours apparently. She will also be having intensive nursing for at least 48hrs afterwards.
I’ve never used a message board before, but this site is fantastic. Will encourage her to log on and have a look - there is so much support out there, sometimes it’s just hard taking that first step.
Thank you again,
Foxy x
Hi there
I had a mast and recon March 07. I was in hospital for 5 days. By the time I left all my drains had been removed. When I came to there was a lot of swelling on surgery side. By the time I left they had put a bra on me, although I was told to only wear it for an hour or so a day to start with. I think it helps with support from early stages. Basically this was a sports bra - I am usually a 34C and initially I was worried about the bra so this was much larger - a 36 D or DD I think. My surgeon had encouraged me to try the bra, my BCN was very reassuring and said there was no rush with this. I probably didn’t start wearing a bra properly for about 3 weeks later.
They give you some very gentle exercises right from the beginning, but I really couldn’t lift my arm very high at all - so I would strongly recommend button up nighties or PJs with a button top so she doesn’t have to lift her arm and the drains can come through the buttons and stay at the side of the bed. Also, I wore a lot of button up tops for the first couple of weeks I was out as I didn’t want to have to wrench things over my head.
I really hope it goes well for your friend
xx