What's going on!

Hi, this is the first time I’ve ever used a discussion forum and now wonder after reading so many messages left by others, if I should’ve been introduced to this earlier.
I was diagnosed with bc in 2004. I had a lumpectomy but my boobs were so small anyway that my surgeon couldn’t get clearance so I had to have the full wack. I don’t think I can remember much of that year, just snippets here and there. I now think that I have been living in deniel but now I am struggling with my emotions and mental state of health. I don’t know if the way I’m feeling is because of what’s happened or just because I’m going crazy anyway.
Most of my friends and family don’t understand/realise that even though I had my op nearly 5 years ago, it just doesn’t feel that long a go to me. You have that constant reminder when you see yourself in the mirror, then when you get dressed because you’re having to make sure the top you put on sits right with the bra you’ve just put on etc. And everyone around you wants to moan about their bills. I know I’m lucky, I’m still alive but sometimes you just want to scream WHY ME.
Why am I still feeling so upset about it. Is this normal? Will things change when I stop having to take the Tamoxifen?

Hi Hippos,

I havnt really got any comforting words as the past week for me has awful, i just wanted to bump this up a bit!I was dx in june last year and am still finding it difficult. I do think that the tamoxifen has alot to do with moods as ican be on top of the world one min and then really low the next…think that its also down to tamoxifen and Zoladex. I hope that you find some sort of peace soon. i do think that sometimes you are so wrapped up with appointments and the worry of everything else you forget yourself, when all that stops you then yu have tme to think about whats happened to you and it hits home.

I am going to start councelling soon so maybe you should try that if you carry on feeling like this, its worth a try!

Emily xxxx

Hi Hippos and welcome to the forums

In addition the support you will receive here, you are welcome to give our helpliners a call, they can offer you further support during this difficult time and direct you to other forms of support too, the number to call is 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Hope this helps
Best wishes
Lucy