Hi all
It’s been a year now since I was diagnosed and thankfully, I’m thru the active treatment. The only problem is I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel well. I feel under the weather every day; hot flushes, night sweats, severe exhaustion. I’ve also lost the ability or desire, If I’m honest, to enjoy life. I’m turning into a hermit! Am I the only one to feel like this and does it get better?
Julia xx
Hi Julia,
I am coming up to my last (hopefully) TAX this friday, and it will be a year in February 2011 since l was diagnosed, and there is no way l am expecting to feel my ‘old’ self by then!
I have my rads in October, finish in November, so l think a year from then, l am hoping l will be feeling a ‘little’ better. We have been through a hellish year, so to expect to feel ‘well’ one year since being diagnosed is a little too good to be true!!
Give yourself time, you and your body have been through too much to get over it so soon. Not sure when you finished active treatment, but l think a year from then! might be more like it!
But if you suddenly start feeling ‘normal’ let us know what it feels like! Be really good to be there!
Hugs
Sandra xxx
First off - you’re not alone!! I’m a bit further on than you, dx 03/09, WLE and ANC 04/09, chemo 06 - 09/09 and rads 12/09 - 01/10, now on Arimedex.
I had / still have those ‘lifes not worth living’ days, sometimes weeks, but they get further apart and occasionally I glimpse myself in the mirror and think ‘not bad’ at my hair and body (which for me is amazing!), and I’ve found I can have days when I enjoy myself and forget about the C word.
Stamina is hard to get back, and physical tiredness brings on mental tiredness, which means you don’t do anything and get physically unable to, which just acts as a vicious circle.
None of us anticipate just what a physical and mental shock we’re going to go thru at the outset and still don’t apprecaite how tough it is when it’s ‘over’. Altho partners try ever so hard - I’d not survive without mine! - they’ve not been there and don’t have the eternal ‘is it coming back’ thoughts which are with us all the time, and don’t understand our fears and apprehensions - and joking apart, if my husband doesn’t, no-one can - he’s that good otherwise.
Just try and go with the flow, appreciate the good little things - I had humungous celebrations when I cooked my first dinner for over a year! - and when you get low, try and think of those occasions and smile. Tho accept you will have ‘can’t be assed’ days - I had one yesterday but today have managed to go out for lunch and feel much more human. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Nina
Thanks ladies. You are, of course, so right!
Julia xs
Hi Julia,
Oh dear, I do hope there are some uplifting replies here. I have finished all my treatment and have been told that I am clear but I just feel like you do and I have to force myself to do things. I start a job and after 15 minutes I have to stop and rest. I was told that 6 to 8 weeks after finishing Herceptin that I would be great. It’s now 11 weeks and I am still waiting.
On the good side I am not suffering from hot flushes or night sweats and I am sleeping longer than the 6 hours I managed before.
My GP warned me that once I finished treatment and my time was not filled with appointments here and there I could feel quite low. Perhaps this is what is happening to us both.
We should actually be feeling great that all is well as far as we can know, and getting on with our lives. I think I will book a holiday.
Chin up,
E
Emmbee
6 hours sleep? what’s that like?!!
julia xx
Hi
I’m 2 and a half years since Dx and I had this conversation yesterday with my onc. The year after I finished active treatment (chemo and rads) I felt great BUT still ‘not right’. My energy levels were better and I felt better but I still suffered from fatigue sometimes and wasn’t quite right.Fast forward another year and the energy levels are practically back to pre BC days and I was feeling so much better.
Chemo is strong stuff and I don’t think people understand how long it is before we feel ‘normal’ again. It’s under-estimated. You will feel better but by degrees.
Take it easy.
Mal
Hi Julia
I think we under estimate exactly what our bodies have been through, because once active treatment is over, we are almost expected to pick up where we left off.
Time is a healer i think, and give yourself plenty.
I too feel tired alot of the time, but i am forcing myself to get on with things (not sure if that is a good thing or not…)
How is the tamoxifin now?
Hope you pick up soon.
Hugs and best wishes…
xx
It took a while to get ‘back to normal’. I was constantly trying to measure what I could and couldn’t do… testing myself. After Radiotherapy I was SO exhausted I could not believe I’d ever be normal again. It took longer than I imagined but I got there… I am now whipping around Epsom and Sutton like a mad woman! (and at probably twice your age!) See you at the Belmont on the 9th!
AlexG
Rads finished mid- July and ended 11 months of treatment. 3 ops, 7 chemos, 15 rads.
The last two months have been tough, the rads is easier than chemo, but it really does take it out of you and the tamoxifen takes a while to settle down. I have felt like you do after rads, terrified that this is it and I will be a grumpy and tired forever.
I have continued to improve over the last few weeks and today I felt NORMAL! I have felt pretty good for a few days now. Vibrant and energetic and I didn’t ‘fall over’ in the afternoon. I know that I have to manage my diary a bit better and I can’t push myself as hard as I used to, but today was wonderful. I put it down to diet.
It is true that our bodies have been through hell, especially out livers. So I eat to maximise recovery. I still have ‘junk’ days and don’t let it stress me out. Love yourself inside and out, care for yourself and let your body recover.
Exercise and spending time with friends is important too.
im so glad its not just me that feels like this
im just a yr since dx and have finished all active treatment and am on tam so know all about no sleep and flushes lol
the other day i sat and cryed as i just dont feel well hardly any of the time
but i have to make myself think how much better i really am
a few months ago i couldnt have done the school run,walked the dog and done a little housework before sitting for the rest of child free time
i even managed some days out through the holidays ,something i never imagined i could ever do again
i have to plan things now, like can only do a few shops at a time(far too hot) and go early before busy.
ive lost a lot of confidence too and worry constantly about being ill when out or too tired to drive home
i really hope it improves
Sorry to hear that it is taking you so long to get over the effects of your treatment ladies. Hang in there and I wish all a speedy road back to full health.
For anyone who is reading this thread at the beginning of their treatment, please don’t feel too alarmed about fatigue and the toll of chemo on your body until you know how it actually affects you.
Cancer treatments affect everyone differently and while there are many women here who have a terrible time and take a long time to get over their treatment, there are others, like me, who have been incredibly lucky and got through treatment with the minimum of problems. Other than 2 weeks off work in Jan 2010 following WLE and ANC clearance, and a further 6 weeks following MX and DIEP, I was well enough to work throughout chemo and did everything I usually do except that I did less housework … but I think that chemo was just a good excuse there.
I pretty much feel back to my pre BC self. I have some hot flushes from the Tamoxifen, but tell myself that at almost 50 I was likely to be having them anyway.
Special hugs to everyone who has not been as lucky as me.
Jacqui
You are certainly not alone in feeling like this. I finished my active treatment 9 months ago and although on the whole I’m quite positive I have some terrible days. My energy levels are still appalling although my husband says he can see small improvements with each week.
I thought I’d start yoga for relaxation and to get some more flexibility and exercise and to drag myself out of the house - but in the second class I pulled my tendon so now hobbling around! Oh well…
I don’t know if you’re working. I’m not able to yet but I am doing one day a week voluntary work. I really enjoy this as it gets me out of the house, I’ve met new people and yet there isn’t the same commitment as paid employment. I’m extremely fortunate that my husband is so supportive even though we don’t have much money.
Sounds a bit strange but I still have damaged toenails from my chemo which finished October 2009. I think to myself that It’s taking all this time to recover and perhaps when the damage has grown out I’ll be feeling better. Incidentally my hair which grew back but has been growing very slowly has suddenly gone into a growth spurt the past 3 weeks.
The positive feedback from other women is very encouraging. take care all.
Just thought I’d add a comment from an old timer. I am 3 1/2 yrs on from dx. Spent 2007 in active treatment (mx, chemo, rads) and 2008 having herceptin. I had 2009 off from any treatment other than tamoxifen, then had a recon this Feb (LD flap) with the implants (in both sides) a month ago. I feel fab! You will too in time.
Firstly you need to give yourselves time to recover, they say chemo can stay in your system for months, and then if you’ve also had herceptin that wears you out over time, you can start off feeling quite well, and end up exhausted by the end.
Secondly I would say get out and exercise. It’s so much better to feel tired because you’ve exercised rather than feeling tired because you’ve done nothing. Go for a walk, a swim, join a class, whatever takes your fancy. And make it regular. It will help you to feel better about yourself, plus regular exercise lowers the risk of recurrence.
Thanks for the advice everyone. It do work full time, as a Nurse, and its tiring at the best of times. I’m going to join my local gym cos I also want to lose the 1 1/2 stone i’ve put on since starting tamoxifen!
Hugs
Julia xx
Hi Julia,
Sorry about the amount of sleep I am having. Now I feel awful. Your time will come. Good luck with the gym and your weight loss.
E xx
Dont be daft emmbee. Its great you are getting sleep!
Julia xx