Hi Girls

Im driving myself mad, Ive finished my chemo 6 months ago for secondary breast cancer and have been on Zometa and Tamoxifen ever since. Well what can I say I seem to be in a right mess at the moment Im crying all the time, I want to go back to work but dont think Im up to it yet but feel that if I stay at home anymore Ill go mad, my kids dont seem to need me now, my youngest is 14 and Im getting paranoid about her, I feel I dont want her to go out with any boys and worry when she goes anywhere, our relationship is terrible at the moment, you would think it would be different wouldnt you, but my family havnt coped very well since Ive been ill and have given me no support whatsoever, help girls, is it normal to feel like this, am I getting depressed.


Hi Diane,
How long have you been feeling this way? All the time since chemo ended, or just recently? It does sound as if all your worries are exploding in your head and getting too big for the space available! which I guess is common for people in our position, but not good if it goes on for too long. I’d be thinking it might be time to talk to my GP or some other sympathetic professional if it’s been going on a while. You may need some pills or counselling to help you over this stage. How are people at work being? supportive, or do you feel a bit cut off from the whole world of work and a bit awkward about going back? (I’ve been off since March and still have quite frequent contact with good colleagues, but it’s a v scary prospect going back after Chritmas.)
Hope this helps. hang in there - being a Mum of teenagers is no walk in the park at the best of times.
Big hung winging it’s way to you
love Jacquie x

Hi Diane

Sorry to read that you are feeling so low. If you are online at the moment you may like to access the ‘Live chat’ which runs 9pm-10pm tonight, if you go to the ‘Support for you’ tab you can access this service and ‘chat’ in real time to others who may have had similar experiences to you.

Best wishes

Breast Cancer Care

Hi Diane,

I too have a teenage daughter (15) and whilst I’ve not had to have Chemo or Radio, I’ve been on Tamoxifen for 4 months and I will admit to feeling very low at times.
I went to see my GP and she wanted to put me on anti-depressants, but to be honest, I don’t want to go down that path, I want to be in control of my feelings, how ever bad they get.
I feel for you Diane, I too am going through the ‘boyfriend’ stage with my daughter and whilst he seems to be a nice boy…well…he’s not good enough for my daughter…

Wishing you all the best Diane.

Linda xx

Hi Diane

I think having a diagnosis of secondary cancer is so different from being diagnosed the first time around and there’s a lot to get your head round. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel what you’re feeling but it’s when it starts to impact on your daily living that maybe you need to think about seeking help, either from Breast Cancer Care or from the hospital.

I know in our hospital we have a psychologist who has a remit to see secondary breast cancer ladies (as our primary bcn don’t although they do on an informal basis as they have known us since our primaries).

I had my diagnosis of secondaries 3 years and it’s still there in the front of my head every single day but while I’m feeling relatively well (not a lot of pain at the moment in my spine, etc) it’s so much easier to be optimistic but it hasn’t always been the case.

Surround yourself with people who you enjoy being with (if you can). I have a friend who says that people can be either radiators or drains and get rid of the drains!!

Good luck to you.



What a marvellous saying! I am going to use that

Madeline x

girls what can I say - but a very big THANK YOU

for your comments, Ive been feeling so low this week didnt even come on site until now, but I have made a stand with my daugher and have contacted by bc nurse about seeing a counselling - so hopefully Im on the right road, I was so chuffed with your messages and wanted to thank you again. The trouble is with me that whenever I go to see by Onc or BC Nurse because they always say how well I look, I feel I cant tell them exactly how I am, but I will from now on.

lots of love

I agree with Madeline - what a brill saying Pinkdove

Diane -

I’m full of them!!!

Our support group have a website (www.pbcsg.co.uk) and I’ve put a few more sayings on that. We got a grant from Macmillan to create it so I applied for it and it went live last February.

There’s another saying (more serious) from a chap who died earlier this year who I met a couple of times at conferences (I think he had Hodgkins) but he said:

‘I need to know that this body is my body. And I need to know everything that is happening to my body. But most of all I need to know that you know that within my body there is me’. His name was Michele Petrone and he was a painter and told his story of his experience of cancer through his paintings.

I know what you mean Diane about people telling you how well you look. I have that all the time and I say to them ‘but if you could see inside my body’!! but I suppose it’s better than being told you look b****y awful!!!