when do we really feel beter .. can you share please..

hi all just want to throw this out there for anyone to share with me… i am trip neg finished cheno march 3 fec x 3 and tax x3 had local recurrence rash form while on chemo then had 15 rads finished last wed so burnt nicely at moment.what i would like toknow if anyone can say is when can you expect to feel somewhere near better, i know the worry prob remains but i mean physically, i can have several good days but then feel c**p, from yesterday feel low, achy,headachey,i know it takes a while to get over treatment but feel others are getting on so much better ,feel so anxious and sometimes feel so vacant as though not really here if that makes sense,thing is my face is an open book even with makeup and if i feel off it shows…just wanted others experience thankyou for reading love rachel x

Hi Rachel,

It will take time. I’m not triple neg but had 8 x chemo, mx with anc and then 15 rads finishing 3 yrs ago. It knocked me out for almost 6 months and I was feeling like a failure I hadn’t got ‘back to normal’ as quickly as expected. That was my perception - both my onc and surgeon said that actually I had done really well and it would take a long time to recover as I had had 3 major medical things in 6 months. Remember chemo is a poison after all! And the rads take a lot out of you, it’s just that you probably don’t expect them too as they are over quickly each day. I had a slight spread of my bone mets late last year and had to have 1 rads blast to my spine and had forgotten what it takes out of you. I suddenly realised I wasn’t myself, was zombied out quite a lot and had a wierd tiredness that I couldn’t shake off no matter how much I slept. After about 6 weeks this lifted.

You are not on your own in feeling like you do - why not have a chat to a bcn???

Good luck - it will get better.

Liz

Rachel -

My onc told me that it takes a year of treatment and then a year to recover from treatment. And I think that is accurate.
I am 3 years on from dx and still taking Arimidex and bisphosphonates both of which make me feel appalling. But I can actually function now. Many more good days than bad days but fatigue can still be a problem.

Hang in there - it does get better - but quite gradually. I didn’t suddenly wake up one morning and think “I feel brilliant!”
I just realised that life was getting vaguely back to normal.
When I look back to this time last year I remember how awful I felt at a friend’s wedding - totally befuddled and exhausted. Things are much better now - although maybe this time next year I’ll feel the same about how I feel now!

All the best - don’t push yourself - it is very early days.

Liz is so right - it does take time. I had 4 ops, 6 chemo and 35 rads - I still had some se’s (sore throat) 8 months after chemo finished, although others went much sooner. Energy levels recover pretty slowly, and it happened so gradually I didn’t really notice the changes. It will get better, but try to be patient and not expect too much too soon. Eat well, have plenty of rest and gentle exercise, and you will start to see an improvement.

finty xx

Hello, what Finty says is pretty much how I see it - I have just stopped having a siesta every afternoon and I finished my treatment 7 months ago - still only working 3 days per week and having to go carefully, early nights etc - can see real improvement but still need to take very good care,
it will improve really! bw Nicola

HI Rachel

I know how you are feeling, with treatment over I think people expect you to be back to normal and back to normal duties!

I finished chemo in April and am half way through 5 weeks of RADS and feeling good and am back to work part time. HOWEVER,last Friday out of the blue I had a meltdown and just wanted to hide under my duvet all day, which is so unlike me. I think I’m keeping myself so busy that I’m not giving myself time to get over all the treatment but I’m so fed up of thinking about it!! We do need to be kind to ourselves and do things that we enjoy and take it easy - our bodies and mind have taken a battering.

I shall try and practice what I preach! Good luckx

Rachelx

Hi Rachel
I was given 5 year all clear last Tuesday. So I am 9days tamoxifen free. Woke up this morning and realized my knees don’t seem to hurt.
It’s quite a long process, but each little milestone is a triumph.
Happy Days
Chinook

Hello rachel

I finished chemo in April 2009 , so about the same time of year as you have now. I am 3xneg had accelerated chemo so every two weeks not 3, had 4xAC-4xTax and 32 rads, I got to the end and was so determind in the june 09 to get my life back I planned and did so much (though didn’t go back to work) I even insisted on a breast reduction on my good side in the july, now i look back and i rushed things and when i got to the nov 09 i had a melt down and picked up an infection which took me ages to get over. I like ms molly went to a wedding last May and now i look back and think i must have been there with my head in a bag of cotton wool I remember very little and struggled the whole day. I had another op last Aug and again fell down with an infection which wiped me out. What i am trying to say is, take your time, give yourself time to recover , it will only catch up with you if you don’t, this year i have taken it easier and am at the stage now were i may now start working, I should have been in this place last year but i did too much too soon early on. Eat healthily and look after your body xxx

Hello Rachel
I finished chemo last Aug then mx and then rads ending 23rd Dec and 4 months on I am still struggling with my energy levels.
I started herceptin in Jan and that will finish in Dec and maybe this contributes to it as well.
I have got very frustrated that I have not got back to ‘normal’ sooner, what ever that is!!!
Now though I have a good then bad day rather than all bad so like the others say it is a very gradual progression. I think learning to accept that is the hardest thing, well for me anyway.
I went back to work in April and that is very difficult because not only do I have my employer putting pressure on for me to be full time but I also think I have high expectations of myself and when I don’t achieve them that is when I get frustrated.
Still I’m realising it’s a long journey and we will all get there.
So keep smiling, take it easy, listen to your body and eat healthily… maybe I will practice what I preach as well!!!
Take care fluffy xx

Although I have secondaries now (since 2002) over the years I have had quite a few different chemotherapies - each time with it’s own set of side effects. One thing I noticed with each lot that as a few weeks, then months went by I thought I was really quite well but it was only at the end of a year that I could say now I really do feel well. It was a series of progressions - you start to feel better by degrees if that makes sense. I generally didn’t get a lot of really good time between chemos :(. I think most of my bc events were about 2 years apart. I was probably quite fortunate as we have our own business so I could work as and when I felt up to it. I have a really beautiful nursery and liked nothing better than to sit quietly in the spring/summer months pruning my trees.

Dawn
xx

pleased i found this thread cos all i seem to have asked on other threads is “when will i feel better??”

i can now see from reading on here that i am expecting an awful lot of myself and being a bit impatient.

i am 4 weeks post last chemo (4 FEC, 4 TAX) and fell for the old - “Oh chemo finished , you must feel better” trap but I DON’T feel better and i get so scared that i should be feeling better by now.

i ache all over particularly my arms and legs and i have fluid retention which i am putting down to the fact that the chemo is still in my system. i also feel pretty tired most of the time.

strangely enough i am going to a wedding this ,may as some of you did last year - i do feel as if i am going in a fog so perhaps i should accept that that is normal for the satge i am at and give myself more time and know that it does as you say get better bit by bit and the side effects will subside.

claire x

Hi Claire

just a thought re the wedding from my disaster last year, wear something you are comfortable in, I wore a dress that ‘was not me’ and hate seeing the photos. I wore heels, I always lived and worked in heels in the past but the wedding was the first time wearing heels for ages and they crippled me …i once read a quote from a fashion designer and it went something like…you can tell from a persons face if the shoes the have on are comfortable…I looked as if someone was sticking hot needles into my toes.

r x

hey all

i finished this week, 6 fec and 20 rads.
dont feel too bad, but am very tired, comes and goes, flushes aches, and forget things.

i was told it would take 6 months to get out my system, but can take longer. im not going back to work for 6 months.

eat healthy, and try mild exercise, this will help with the tiredness and any aches.

dont push yourself, there is good advice here form ladies that have done that and then it catches up with you.
xxxxx

thankyou all for your replies it helps to know i am not on my own x

went to have a chat with my gp yesterday and he confirmed what is being said - he said it could be a year before you feel absolutely back to something like yourself.

i was a bit disappointed but not surprised by this. i just find it is sad that when people say “you’ve finished chemo now - do you feel great/better?” i cant give them the answer that they want which is yes.

i am wondering how i will get through coming months if everyone (none bc) just thinks i am “over it” when i am not.

hope you enjoying sunshine today if you have it where you are

claire x

Claire
I know how you feel, all outward signs of treatment over, so must be back to “normal”! Not even sure what that is! My son said to me yesterday that he thought that I probably couldn’t remember what it is like to feel well, have some energy, and not have to think about whatever I affecting whether I can function the next day - he is sooo right!

But what he did say is that feeling better would be a slow process, and one day I would realise I feel so much better than I did a month ago, for example. He also said that this is the time to be most kind to myself, as there are fewer outside indicators to others, and learn to be truthful to myself about what I can and can’t do, as this time is important for my body and mind to get/be stronger!

Hope the above makes sense! Chemo brain still a problem!

Lots of love

SJ x x

SJ - could we do a son swap please?

finty x

how perceptive/thoughful of your son sj

claire

Hello,
normal shormal what is normal? I still don’t feel normal, I am feeling better in my head after 3 years post diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and taking letrozle. I am greatful to have had the best treatment for my cancer but I cannot ever think I will fully recover my own SELF ever again.
Kindest regards to all,
Rachel.

I finished my treatment in December 2010. I had a Mastectomy followed by 3 Fec and 3 Tax followed by 15 Rads. Yesterday was my first day back at work. I only did a 4 hour shift and when I returned home had to go to bed for an hour!! It was only then that I realised how exhausted I felt. You think that you are feeling better. You are looking better than you have been looking for a long time but reality is your body is still suffering. Hope things improve soon.