I will come back on Thursday after the drain, I might get some private time with the Onc then.
XX
Hi there Terry and everyone
In Oct 2008 I decided to stop all treatment .
The chemo was just too hard for me ( after 7 yrs of treatment )and the side effect were terrible plus my markers were going up even on the chemio
I am still fighting but in a different way and quite honestly havent felt so good for 6 yrs .
I prefer a couple of years like this than many years with all the side effects of chemio.
Its not an easy decision but I just knew that it was the right thing to for me and now .
Luv to you all jANE
I’m so sorry Terry that you’ve been given this news. I hope when you have chance to talk to the onc he will offer you further clarification.
I cannot imagine how one comes to terms with this, I suspect we don’t. I hope that somehow you will both get the help and support you need during this period.
Ver best wishes
My wife had her treatment stopped in December as it was having no effect and was making her life difficult, but sadly lost her battle on the 3rd. The end was very quick at home on the 2nd we were asked by the doctor if she wanted to be at the hospital at a hospice or at home, at home was her answer and she was put on Pathway the only problem with that is she then knew she was dying and I think the fight went out of her.I don’t think that there is any other way of doing it as they evidently must ask these questions especially if you wish to be at home. The Doctors and all the nurses did their best but it is very hard for both the person dying and the ones left behind.She had fought for nearly eight years and I am sure it was her determination not to give in that kept her going I think that is the best advice to try and focus on living not dying.We did delay the treatment on occasions when it got too much but in the end she always went back for more only each individual can say when enough is enough.I am sure that she found great solice in this site and would wish everyone well.I am sorry if this rambles on but it is still very hard to concentrate on the subject but as my wife always said the only way is forward
Marell, Thank you for your comments, I think I know what you went through, I can only hope that we can look forward too, at this moment it feels difficult.
At least, compared to others on this site our girls are 17 and 18 a lot have children much younger.
XX
Saw the Onc this morning. They took one and a half litres of ascetic fluid from her abdomen, this was also full of blood.
I did not understand why they did not take more as she still looks like she is 5 months pregnant as opposed to the 6 months when she went in.
I did not get chance for a private word with the Onc but she was quite open and honest and sympathetic.
Basically she said her liver is now too bad and is failing, hence the ascetis, and no further anti cancer treatment is possible. The aim, she said, is to improve QOL and to be pain free. She increased her morphine patches by 25Mg to 175 and some other pain blockers which act on the brains electrical system to block sharpe quick pain, which is what she was getting in her left leg.
The only question I have left is the one of time, the three weeks we have been told was from a medic that has not actually seen Kathy but is a friend in the UK, if anyone else has any time frames I would like to hear them as My wife has a son in the UK and we do not know when to get him here, like everyone else he has to work.
XX
Terry I am so very sorry to hear your latest news. Time frames are so so difficult to predict…I think when medics are talking about weeks they usually know what they are talking but it could be longer…or shorter.
I hope you have some reasonable quality time together and can say the things you need and want to say to each other.
very best wishes
Jane
Hi Terry,
really sad reading your post don’t know if this will help. A friend who died of this disease was told three weeks and sadly it was. Her liver was like 7 months and then her legs began to swell this was due lymphatic system failing. It is very hard for them to put a time as we all react differently even in the late stages of this disease. When my mum was poorly they sent a Dr, nurse and social worker every day to make sure she was comfortable and that I knew what to do when the end came. I know in this financial climate it is very hard, but I think maybe tell your son how it now and how it could be tomorrow and let him decide. I told my daughters and one chose to fly out and the other one chose not to. A decision that she has had to live with since. Take care of each other and again I am so very sorry.
Love Debsxxx
Terry,
I’m sorry to hear your news. Like Deb, I would tell her son to get to you as soon as possible. A job is a job and can be replaced. Your mother is precious and is not replacable. He needs to know the full story and book his ticket.
I hope that she is made comfortable, noone deserves to suffer
al
I’m so sorry to hear your news Terry. My Mum died of ovarian cancer last Spring, she had liver involvement and developed ascites. She died days later. So sorry…I hope your wife will be kept as comfortable and as pain free as possible. Belinda.
hi Terry - so sorry to hear your news - i did post a comment which didn’t appear so having another go - think son needs all the information - I know my daughter has made me promise not to hide anything from her - and at times this is very hard - and will get harder - hope you are both getting support - thinking of you both , jayne
Terry
Your wife and her son need to spend time together. Get him over there NOW! Hopefully they’ll have quality time together.
Literally as I read your post I was on my way out the front door and desperately wanted to respond, but this is the earliest opportunity. Don’t want to be negative but he needs to be out there asap so they can spend time together. Can he have compassionate leave??
Thinking of you all.
Good luck to us all.
Maureen xx
Terry
Forgot to say. I have a son who lives abroad. I know that when my time comes I’ll want to spend time with him xx
HI Terry
I just wanted to comment on the length of time given left. My mum was told in the middle of November that she only had 6 weeks left. After Christmas day she took to herself to bed and expected to die but after two weeks she got up again and decided to get going again. My point is that each individual is different and nobody knows how long the body can keep going with all that it is thrown at it. I think they give a time frame to prepare you and your family but I would not take it too literally. My mum has organized the funeral and seen everyone that has come and visited to say goodbye (which is weird) but now I am aiming to try and get her out of the house again, no point sitting at home waiting for it to happen! I think now we need to enjoy each day as it comes and try and forget the inevitable that happens to us all in the end.
LouiseX
Terry I cannot add anything about the time question as have no direct experience, but I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and your wife as these days pass. I hope you get enough good days now and that she feels as little pain and discomfort as possible, which is all any of us can hope for when we get to that point.
Thinking of you both
Nikki
Hi Terry,
my heart goes out to you and your wife. You think you are prepared but is anybody ever really? As Louise said, nobody can tell you the time it will happen. Please do get her son over, he should have the opportunity to be with his Mum now and I’m sure your wife needs his company too. I hope they can keep your wife pain free and that you will still have some good days together.
Peggy
Hi Terry
So sorry to hear this news. I do hope that your wife can be kept relatively pain free and comfortable and that you can spend what time is left, together and you bth get some comfort from that.
You have had a lot of advice about your son - my only advice is that you tell him the facts as you know them and let him decide what he feels is best. The trouble is (as always) the fact that cancer is so unpredictable.
Thinking of you both. Kay xx
Her son will be here Saturday, seems funny really but she seems really happy now and is pain free completely.
Best thing I can do is just keep this up dated hopefully for the next 5 years !!!
XX
and terry…we too want to be here reading it for the next 5 years
x
Hi Terry,
I hope your wife is happier for having her son visit and that you are all able to spend time just enjoying each other’s company and getting love, comfort and support from each other.
Very best wishes to you both.
Suze x