When will I start to feel more myself?

I had my final  chemo last week (3 EC and 9 paclitaxel). I had surgery last August and am pretty much healed from that. 

Im just so eager to start feeling normal and less fatigued. My oncologist said it could be 6-8 weeks but I really hope I start to feel better before then.

I do have 5 sessions of radiotherapy to do (that’s in 2 weeks) but most people have said after chemo,  radiotherapy is pretty easy. I know you can feel tired after radiotherapy and I’m prepared  for that. 
My hair is growing back, but lost some of my eyebrows and my eyelashes are holding on by a thread - all 10 of them!

I just feel like I’ve been in the chemo fog for so long I just want to wake up and be who I used to be - sort of 

Lou x

Hi louby_lou

Congratulations on completing the chemo stage of your treatment. I had exactly the same and it wiped me out! But yes, after that radiotherapy was a doddle. Please don’t take that for granted though. You need to be prepared for anything in cancer world.

You learnt the hard way that treatment means waiting. An awful lot of waiting for tests, for results, queuing for blood tests, waiting for a chemo nurse… Now you have to master the art of patience. It’s essential that you don’t expect everything to go back to normal. How can it after such a devastating experience? They used to call it a ‘new normal’, a term I thought was perfect until it became a government soundbite for people getting antsy about not being able to go to the pub… it kind of reduced the term’s significance.

Fatigue is like the proverbial piece of string. You can’t predict how you are going to be. I think your oncologist was being optimistic but I’m guessing you have age on your side and may well have maintained some fitness throughout. That is good but it’s no guarantee the fatigue will go away. You may be able to push through it as I was advised, but you may not. It really is a case of wait and see. Some people bounce back, some are plagued by bouts of fatigue almost permanently. Just be patient, listen to your body and your brain and go with the flow, rather than forcing it. There is a Macmillan leaflet with lots of advice about fatigue and there’s advice on this site, but it’s different for everyone.

I found the loss of eyelashes (and pubic hair) the most obnoxious part of the chemo. I held onto much of my hair thanks to a good buzzcut before I started the 2nd EC and absolutely loved it as it began to grow back - it was so soft, like stroking a puppy! I was proud of my 3 eyelashes that held firm (10 is very impressive) but the loss of the rest of my lashes unmanned (?) me. I’d never even opened the door without my mascara on at the very least! It’s fascinating as they regrow, starting with a completely even, stubby row, but you’ll have to hold back on the mascara for a while.

So…you really can’t be sure what lies ahead. I’m not being pessimistic, more realistic, so, assuming I’m right, be patient, set yourself small, achievable goals initially and see how it goes. I’m older but nevertheless, the loss of vocabulary hit me hard, as did the peripheral neuropathy, neither of which has improved! I’ve attached a link to an article about the ‘new normal.’ He really gets it. It may be a bit early for you as you’re only halfway through treatment but it’s good to go back to it occasionally, to be reminded about compassion for ourselves, patience with our bodies - and as for our minds…. Heaven knows!

workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Wishing you all the best for a comfortable radiotherapy and a quick recovery,

Jan x