Hi, Its been a while since i last posted anything on here, I was diagnosed last nov with a grade 2 12mm Ductal carcinoma, node negative, I was treated with 2 lots of surgery, Epi-cmf Chemo and 15 + 4 rads I am now on tamoxifen treatment finished last month.I have 2 young kids and cant shift the feeling that I wont see them grow up, I am constantly checking myself for lumps and seem to go through phases where the fear is beyond bad, I seem to no longer have simple aches and pains its always cancer until it goes then I realise it was not, I am now at the moment checking my collerbone for lumps convincing myself I can feel lumps. I know next week I willbe checking somewhere else. I HATE BEING THIS WAY. will I ever feel like I have a future again rather than its not if it comes back its when.
Oh, I am sorry you are feeling in such a bad place just now. I have been through the BC mill and it isn’t all doom and gloom. There are far more positive stories nowadays. Yes, it is s**t disease but we’re winning the battle.
It sounds like you’re finding things tough at the moment, it is quite common to struggle with the issues you have mentioned. You may find it helpful to join one of the BCC telephone support groups
where you are able to talk privatley to other’s who have similar experiences to yourself.
Many previous group members said they’d been able to openly talk about things they couldn’t discuss with friends and family because they felt the had to ‘be brave’ and not upset the people they were close to.
Groups are facilitated by a professional therapist and a breast care nurse. Calls are free and you can join from anywhere in the UK as long as you have a telephone line.
The next TSG is scheduled to run from 12th October to 30th November 2010 for 8 weeks, Tuesday evenings 7-8pm.
If you would like further information or to join please contact the helpline on 0808 800 6000.