Poppy, I feel exactly the same about my hair. Get the same comments too. Amazing though how few people willingly copy our style.
Polly x
Ahhhh! The curly hair thing! Mine has grown back curly, first it was grey and curly so I cut it myself with a hair trimmer I use for hubby coloured it with a temp colouring and blow me it has stayed in just a small dusting of grey now but the “Oh I do like your hair it suits you!”, I don’t think so! I miss my soft straight hair which I liked to style blow drying etc it was quite soothing ! now it is curly and feels quite coarse in fact I keep saying it feels like man hair! It has stopped growing (Arimidex?) as fast, and curls like heck in the rain! I suppose I shouldn’t moan as at least I have got hair now but I am so with you on the comments! big group hug to all Em xxx
Totally with you on the hair thing - I think people are trying to be supportive & nice when they say - ooooh I love your hair like that. I have coloured mine dark purple when it used to be blonde & have it all stuck up in the air cos that looks best for me. I HATE it - I just want my long blonde hair back. I’ve had one person say - Oh I wish I had mine like that - well go on then DO IT!!! - No of course she won’t.
Went to docs yesterday & have my prescription - she wants to see me again in 2 weeks. she was lovely & said about counselling but whether that will materialise on NHS I’m not sure!!!
Just trying to muster the energy to set up my work from home laptop but frankly can’t be ar*ed with it all. just want to go back to bed like I was yesterday but rather not with the headache I had then thankyou"!!!
hugs all XXXXXXXXXXXX jo XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Now the headache I can relate too B*^"!!!
I didnt loose my hair but I can relate to you all as mine is now naff!!!Whether its the medications or just old age… another gremlin to deal with!
I know all of you lovely girlies hate your hair as it was,nt your choice BUT my sister lost all hairs and is now showing off her lovely hair which HAS grown back although a bit curlier than before, So fear not it will come back one day, and Em I DO like yours it suits your bonnie face 
Hav,nt posted for a while as i,ve had a few stressful days but finally seeing the wood for the trees, I think!!!
Big group hug XXXXXXXX
xxxx hugs all. . at least we got hair eh!!
polly, hey , sorry to see work is causing us anxiety, and you jo. . im dreading it to be honest. . if one more person says u lok well. !!! aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
brought some work shoes today, clarkes for my sore heals.
Choccie,Choccie, Choccie… IvE missed you I came back from me hols then rushed up to scotland for MX etc and wondered where you had gone Ive spent hours trawling familiar threads trying to see what I missed & where you were …now we know but I thank you as it was great arm exercises and now I can even reach up into the cupboard for the tea bags!!!
I am going to hop over to benchland and set up a ‘go away & leave me alone…coz I’m only here so as you know where I am bench’ too long a title…??
Good to have you back XX
Hi Doz
I had a mastectomy a year last March. I was diagnosed the same time as my mum - but different cancer. I never told her and went to her funeral a few days before going into hospital. I then went back in for lymph gland removal, then had chemo and then R/therapy. After that came Herceptin which had to be halted temporarily as it afected my heart. One year after I lost my mum my dad was rushed into hospital for an emergency operation and had a heart attack - it was touch & go if he would live. He only has me so he stayed with me for a while. I seemed to cope with it all, probably because I had to and went on autopilot. I finished treatment in June and now it’s all done seemed to have gone into a depression. I’m usually bright & cheerful but like you, don’t know where I’ve gone! It’s been a long journey, as you say yourself I took one day at a time. It’s good to read others stories - I know I’m not alone!
ami you have joined a good club we all don’t know who we are gonna be and most of us have been through many things to bring us to this place!
The coping thing does somehow kick in, it is afterwards you look round wondering where you landed and try to make sense of it all. I have said before and will say again I am still growing into a new me some days good some bad and the tears sometimes get the better of me but I WILL find that new me! Be kind to yourself you have had a long journey and have good women for company on here BIG hug you are not alone Em xxxx
Totally relate to title of thread…“Where did I go” each time I look in the mirror. I have just shaved my remining hair because I looked like an old hag from a horror movie. I so long to be me again but that will never really happen. The constant thoughts and even the need to browse these forums might fade but never completely.
I might only show my grief for a lost me briefly but it is there. I seem to be coping to others but what else can uou do. The thought of the constant pain around my bilateral scar and the oedema under it makes me dread the future I want …odd.but on the other hand I want to live.
So chin up and soldier on ready for second Tax.
Cackles
Hi Ami and cackles
Bless you both and welcome to the ladies who listen…who hav.nt a clue where they went but I can assure you were still here Ami what a sad time you,ve had and I really feel for you having been there myself with both my parents so I can relate to how awful its been. If its any consolation it does get better tho it takes time.
The depression can be the biggest milestone but there is help if you feel you need it from the councillors at the Oncology unit or if you dont want to go that far i,ve heard the staff here are a massive help but I must be honest coming on here and chatting to the gorgeous women who are travelling the same road has helped me tons.
It made me realize after my first post when I felt so low that were definately not alone and such a godsend to find this site… so never give in to it come on here whenever you want to rant scream cry/whatever! There will always be someone who will bring a smile with the way they describe YOUR innermost fears for themselves!
I really thought I,d lost the plot I could,nt see how I could still be feeling so muddled after so long but I think i,m normal Ha ha!! well maybe not in the bigger picture but were all there with you dancing round the hat rack together girl!!!
Big hugs to everyone and Em put some daytime clothes on for goodness sake woman xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
HI Doz
Thanks for your positive help. You and Emmy have made a difference. Already I feel better. What a great site for us all to have our say. You’ve had a really rough time, as Emmy, and I hope you are beginning to find yourself again. We are like butterflies emerging, and in time into our new beautiful selves to take flight once again! My hair has emerged into the daylight and blinked, thinking “Which way do I go?” as it’s all over the place and won’t go where it should. Anyway, least of my worries!
Blowing a kiss with positive thoughts to you. Ami xx
Excuse I?I have been a good girl today after all could not go MOT the car in my PJ’s! already getting a rep for being a bit vague and did remember to be ‘proper’ after all I can sometimes,He!He!
Still love my PJ’s they have become my bestest friend!
Ami we are all in this together lovely and yes the women on here do make you feel supported even reading and ‘lurking’ as I did in the early days made me realise I had not completely lost the plot! I don’t mind being a bit bonkers (it really helps!) but it’s when you come face to face with it all, parts of your brain run away and hide!! Along with the carefree me from over a year ago!
I had a good day, car passed it’s MOT (one tyre replaced) and hair cut properly in fact that nearly made me cry!! so good to have enough to have a style of sorts and the hairdresser was so good had a close family member go through the same so was really supportive just what I needed! Still too bloody short but hell enough to have a cut!!!YAY!
Group hug to all and thanks for the kiss Ami one back! xxxx
Hi ladies… I dipped my toe into work yesterday, just for three mornings this week, 4 nexts and so on - full time in 6 weeks apparently! Feels a bit fast! Fortunately for me, my colleague said she thought it was too fast before I had to say anything. Anyway I’ve 12 months worth of annual leave to use up in6 months, so if I get tired, I’ll just come home. or if I need a day off, I’ll take it - and build some in so the return is phased for longer. What was really weird though was that I had cotton wool where my brain used to be! So much I couldn’t remember… and just so sluggish… I’m assuming I will start speeding up eventually! Been a long time in the slow lane… Must get out of my PJs to walk the dog!!!
Oh my… another PJ friend ha ha!!! its becoming a PJ kind of day all round… what with you and Em too I think we should start a competion or new business into the best kind of JIMMIES…
Jane dont worry about the cotton wool… imagine it being candy floss and just every so often dip in and have a scrumptious nibble and as time goes by it will be gone!!It takes a long time to get the grey matter going in the right direction, remember you,ve had intrusive chemicals pumped into you and they dont disappear overnight… as we.ve all found out!! so be kind to yourself and dont expect too much too soon luvvy! I,m still ??? finding myself tho have been back to work for quite a while I still have days when I,m thinking who am I where am I… did I really go into the fridge for the polish?? I did have days when I used to be normal ha ha!! and wonder why i,d gone upstairs?? but for some reason i,m doing it more and more! Oh to be normal… no comments Em!!
Ami I love the Butterfly bit and would like to emerge looking like Anjelina Jolie if that can be arranged?? HEY HO I can dream… More like Hilda Baker… for all you mature ladies that can remember her!!
Just been told by the Dr i,ve got unexpected leave from work for ?? a week or 2… my one passion in life is badminton and have been playing for a couple of months now… only yesterday the body didnt co.operate and after showing off with a magnificent point WOO HOO I popped a B*****Y tendon in my knee… so off I hobbled to A&E and spent 4 hrs watching the drunks/druggies/fighters being brought in by Police…enjoy their “Hospital social life…” they all knew each other!!! Felt quite lonely!!
So here I am leg up, having been told to rest it for the next few days but to keep moving it?? how do you rest and move at the same time?? Its beyond me… like most things nowadays
Big hug all round Girls keep smiling and Jane enjoy all that annual leave :)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Doz… Still in PJ,s
Oooh, ouch! tendon’s NASTY… as painful as a fracture… JUST what you didn’t need! Badminton though… impressive… presumably, played in PJs??? have a huge <<<<HUG>>>> Jane
Ha!Ha! I think we should all wear jimmies to everything saves so much valuable time getting changed! I could imagine Doz PJ’d up to play badminton!!! I am sitting here laughing my socks off what a delighful picture it conjures up much better than pink and fluffy!!!
A veritable PJ fest YAY!!! group hug Em xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi everyone just back from a wonderful but cold week in Aviemore with my wonderful daughter and her family.It was amazing went up mountain loads of snow, saw wild reindeer and able to walk among them and feed them so you can all imagine how it helped with all the horrible thoughts and I had lately.I am just hoping mammo results will be okay and then I am going to ENJOY this christmas.Ihave found reading all your posts helpful and just to know you are not alone makes me feel better.All of you are the greatest even though we have never met big hugs to you all xx p.s I am also exercising and doing loads of walking so this helps feel good factor. I thought I would miss work but am finding plenty to occupy me i.e cross stitch, reading and having time to cook as never seemed to have time for anything as always tired.Also re the hair thing mine seems to be gettig worse by the day must be the Letrozole
RIGHT… Lets just put this into perspective I DO NOT WEAR PJ,S AT BADDERS!!!ha ha ha ha!!! Em and Jane your wicked…But I do love the humour even if its at my expense my shoulders are broad enough so you just go on laughing!!! Revenge is a dish best served cold! I,ll have my day
BUT… now its not often I confess but for you lovely lasses I will just this once but if you tell i,ll have to torture you…
I once went to shops late one night (ran out of milk for my coffee fix)in my PJ,s they were hidden under a rather large coat but it was,nt till I got home that I realized I,d still got my pink fluffy slipper boots on!!! Dont wet those nicks Em it was a long time ago and I thought i,d put my little beige ugg boots on! tut tut!!!
jmr your break sounded fantastic how lovely to be able to get so close to wild animals, you lucky duck, the closest I,ve ever been is when they run out in front of the car on a country road I take to work so I go very slow in that area… which really naffs anyone behind me but hey ho TOUGH!
I can relate to bad hair and B****Y Letrozole mines been awful since starting it, my hairdresser suggested Sea Kelp tabs, not sure if it helps as I hav,nt got round to trying it yet… I cant bare the thought of more regular pill popping at the mo, I have a job remembering to take good old Letrozole!I hope your results are not too long coming hon the waiting room scenario is pants!!! I,m sure it,ll be fine and xmas this year will be a good one for everyone… keep us posted!
Still hopping around on one and a half legs at the moment…OUCH!!! going upstairs to the loo is a task and half, I go up backwards on my bum and hop down sidewards… my coffee intake has dropped somewhat!
Well better get my head sorted and plan my day… no!! no plans :)another lazy day!Yes before anyone asks I,M IN MY PJ,s and intend staying in them… not pink and fluffy Em… todays are candy striped bottoms and cream long sleeved top… Sainsburys are making a bomb out of me this year… other brands are available
BIG hugs to ALL you gorgeous women what a tonic you all are, and stop laughing Em! i,ll whisper this… Sainsburys do do a nice range of incontinence knickers girl xx xxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxx
Hi Doz hope your tendons mend soon it must be awful especially when you were getting exercise which helps mind and body. Going to try sea kelp so will let you know how I get on with them.I used to take my hubby to work years ago and go in my P.Js with a coat on top as went back to bed when I got home so we’ve all done it sometime as long as not stopped by the police (how embarrassing would that be)was telling my b.c nurse how helpful I am finding this website and all the blogs it is nice not to feel alone hugs to all jmr
Right incontinence knickers ordered! Just read about your holiday experience jmr how lovely! We do get pheasants,foxes and badgers here as we live out in the sticks so get all sorts but Aviemore sounds wonderful!! Funny I think we all spent so much time cooched up at home or in hospital that space is an amazing tonic! though Doz like you love my couch and PJ’s it is almost like a way of life now!!!
I have been having these wonderful mind piccys of us all on a runway modelling our favourite PJ’s!!! What the hell we would be fab! Christmas? eeeekkk!!! it passed me by last year so yes this one gonna go mad and have two trees!! hubby just groaned when I said lets get more decs 'cos he will have to put up with my faffing till I am happy with it all!! He!He!
O.K now I know what the police announcement on a mad woman was, she who shops in pretty slippers and PJ’s shush!! we won’t tell!
I am going to send out lots of hugs for all due mammos, we are all in this together strangers we may be but travelling the same road BIG group hug Em xxxxxx