A big welcome hero67 you have come to the right place cos as they say we have all been there and got the t shirt some of you worse than others but we are getting there slowly but surely.
Oh Doz isn’t it typical to get a knock on the door when you aren’t at your best galad they sorted your gas leakbefore it caused a problem.I too snore apparently ha ha
G.I Jane hope you are trying to get some ME time you seem to be working non-stop and must be feeling fragile at the present time.
Jane 2 its so hard to tell people who don’t know I hate it when I meet someone I haven’t seen for ages and they ask how I am and if I am still working and I always well up as it reminds me of what I’ve been through even though I am much better at dealing with things now.
Emmy my grandson has at last got an app on 27 July so hopefully the family will get some help as he is really hard to deal with at times.Hope you had some positivity from your app today and B.C nurse was helpful and your head is not buzzing as much.
All you other flutterbys have a good weekend even though it looks like a wet one methinks hot chocolate and cream cakes may help us through it ha ha love and big hugs Janicexxx
p.s Doz love the photos Vikki is so pretty and Ben looks so cute xxx
p.p.s I can recommend Slimming World as you can eat loads and still lose weight and the group are supportive just like all you lovely ladies xxx
Thanks for the lovely posts guys, really appreciate it. So glad that how i’m feeling is normal. I’m usually the life and soul of the party and love socialising but I feel that I just need to hibernate until new year!
I can really relate to the “flutterby” handle, and hope we all emerge whole again together. I’m so glad I found this site, you all seem to support each other so well.
JMR, I’m looking into slimming world as well as the exercise in order to lose this blubber I’ve got hanging around. God, when I think what our bodies have been through, i’m just glad we’ve come out the other side!
Elsa, I will be thinking about you and whether you manage to make your wine tasting group tonight, this time last year that sort of evening would have sounded like heaven on earth to me! All the best to you all, Hero.
Doz, it is so nice to put a face to a name and Vikki looks very pretty. Hope you marked the making of the cup of tea on the calendar so you can realise how far she’s come, because you soon forget. Your latest post did make me laugh. You in your PJ’s engrossed in typing to us lot, the balls of Ben’s fur and then the snoring wadrobe! Ha ha ha! Yvonne, have you recovered from cleaning? Have a good go when you’re feeling livelier. The energy will come, in time, you‘ll see. Stella, everyone is always here for you on those bad days. And if you have to cry let it be a good cry! How did your lunch go yesterday wearing your listening ears? Elsa-Jane, I think we should give ourselves permission to sit and stare into space or type on the keyboard in out PJ’s rather than tackle housework, don’t you think? Writing things down, certainly triggers those emotions, but it’s quite cathartic which is just what you need. You can do this and then emerge better able to tackle face on, I think. Can I offer a hand to steady the wobbliness? Oh, and if you come up better for it, you should also be allowed to be maudlin, flutterby! About going back to work, I don’t think you can better Emmy’s suggestion on arriving first. That’s a really good idea. I really feel for you but it’ll all come right eventually. Worrying ahead is the worst bit but we are right behind you here, giving that gentle nudge of encouragement. I bet when you’ve done it, you’ll come and tell us it wasn’t half as bad as you’d imagined!
Carolyn & Emmy I’m wondering how today went? (She of the silver teeth.)
Janice, so glad to hear your grandson has an appointment soon. You must all be quite delighted that help is on the horizon. Jane, after all that’s gone on this week you must feel like a deflated balloon, but so glad to hear about your result, huge relief for you. Bet the haircut gave you a lift too. I’ve driven past the place at Swanwick, and heard of it through the clergyman I know. Sending an energy hug……and don’t forget to fill up with some of the wing fuel I prescribed!
Hi hero and a big welcome! Today certainly is the first day of the rest of your life. It’s the day you begin your road to wellness again! I’ve also done juicing and ate all the healthiest foods in the past. It helped me feel positive, helping myself to get in tip top health, but it’s really difficult to keep it up. I’ve had an interest in being healthy for years and had a juicer but washing it is a real chore. All this and the overweight and grey hair you talk about could be me, and after treatment fatigue did hit me out of nowhere. I think it’s all normal. The thing is you can’t rush time, and this is what we need when we begin to recover. I try to strike a balance with things now. I eat sensibly and try not to worry if I don’t occasionally. Striving to do all the right things can be very stressful and a little of what you fancy does you good. Rest when you feel you need to without feeling guilty, be easy on yourself. Finishing treatment doesn’t mean you’re back to your old self but we’re always here for each other, flutterby. I’m sending a hug and hope to see you post tomorrow. Have a peaceful night.
Group hug with everyone. Ami xx
Morning Flutterbys
Dejavu time here… I am once again sat in PJ’s …and DG today… its like blinking Autumn!!!
I have been sat reading through all the posts and how far we are coming 
from the days of who am I where am I!!!
It also took me back to when I had just finished treatment and I didnt really have anyone to bounce things off so I just festered in my chair staring at walls for what seemed like an age but in reality was about a month I guess… writing the first post was a Jane moment I think I cried from the very first sentence… but oh how good to see it all written down and even if no’one had replied it was my little box of “what the heck happened” But thankfully replies came fast and furious and from it this amazing lifeline of friends appeared xxxxxx
We must at some point try to meet up somewhere in the near future… for an afternoon of sunshine and smiles!!! we dont need the weather to brighten the day… not that we’d get it the way its going Good old England!!! oh! my can you imagine the sound of flutterbys flapping
We are having Daniels girlfriend Megan for tea tonight as we are celebrating her passing her Diploma/Degree in Nursing Bless her she got distinction in all her papers She had a nightmare event 3 days before the papers were due in… her computer didnt back up 3 of the sections… one being an 8,000 word document!!! so she spent 3 days and 2 nights with no sleep doing them all again at Uni… to be handed in for the wednesday… she finished at 10.30 that morning and was in absolute bits thinking she had totally messed up her 3 yrs of training!!
She got her results yesterday afternoon so me thinks she may have a hangover today (lucky girl!!) hence the quiet night in tonight with a Chinese and we are going to watch “Woman in Black” eeeek! I have made a Carrot Cake for desert with lots of naughty Orange and Lemon cream filling and topping and I have bought her a Nurses watch in the shape of a flower she is such a poppet and i’m keeping everything crossed she will be a member of the family soon…
I hope you are all well and not too soggy in this dreadful rain… its stoped today but really damp and miserable yesterday was awful wind rain and more rain 
the garden has been battered a bit and a lot of the flowers that are out are flattened still a bit windy but no more rain forecast for now!!! I hope!!!
Take care my lovely Butterflies new and old and I wish you a peaceful weekend and a happy heart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love it Doz… snoring wardrobes… greeting the gasmen in your PJs… (hope you had a dressing gown on too girl!) I’m sure she’ll love the flower-watch… and I guess we have to “watch” this space, for family membership! Can you pass a piece of carrot cake please? As you know, I’m partial to a bit of carrot cake…
Wing fuel Ami… yes please! I woke up this morning and sang “I’m NOT on call”… for a week… loverly… been fluttering in the garden in the sunshine and now I’m shattered, but we’ve got a few less weeds, and I’ve potted up a hanging basked and a tub…
Hero - welcome… Yes, we rememer feeling as you do - and some days, we still wobble and our wings sag. The lessons we’ve learnt? BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. Repeat and underline that sentence! It can take longer than you think (or want) to get your energy back, but it WILL come. I found the hair was a good metaphor - it seemed to me to take forever to grow. When I looked in the mirror every day, there was no change from one day to another. Others who didn’t see me for a week or two said “oh, your hair’s really grown”… but I didn’t see it. Same with how we feel I think… we don’t always see the improvement unless we look back a month, and, like the hair growth, the improvement is not fast enough! Also, my hair is now different from how it was before. Not worse, just different, and I have to get used to being different at all sorts of levels, because of what I’ve been through… There you go, that’s my deep and meaningful bit over! Hope you enjoy being a flutterby…
Held some hands, so I hope you’re OK guys…
love
Jane
Hi Flutterbys! I have had visitors all day so now it is peaceful and quiet I am having some me time! Funny how I love to see family but oh the peace that settles after is wonderful! Jane I was reading your bit on hair growth funny really 'cos one of the chemo nurses remarked on how mine had grown and I just thought it isn’t as long as it was! I do know what you mean it doesn’t feel the same mine is thicker, still wavy and was straight, fine and blonde (bottle!) but when it first grew it was like (yes I will say it!) grey pubic hair!!! But now it is sort of normal but ‘different’.
Well BCN was on a course so I had a chat with the chemo team who are red hot on protocol, they agreed that being told my breast was lumpy in the very same room I was told I had BC was reason to get upset! They are really amazing and sister has said she will have a chat about this with said surgeon as it was unacceptable to upset someone and not have all their records so I am happy to leave it with her! However she did also point out that he was keeping an eye on me and I get to have an extra appointment along with an extra mammo which she thinks will be reassuring. Oh deep, deep joy! Never mind head is now out of the box!
Doz I almost wept with laughter at your snoring wardrobe/gas man thing! I could not help it you painted such a wonderful picture that really tickled my funny bone! A BIG up for PJ’s! 
ami my silver tooth seems (fingers crossed) to be holding it’s own trouble is I am too scared to chew anything too hard on it! So it will have to be, strawberries, peaches with cream (of course!) and chocolate! I think I may have found a cure for fillings that fall out! Ha!Ha!
Carolyn I do hope things went well for you flutterby and it’s not my fault I was giggling again it was Doz that made me with her wardrobe story!
Janice how good that there is now a date it will make that difference between coping and getting the support he needs. My grandson has finished all his exams (which is no mean feat!) and is now planning for college starting with what clothes he will wear? Fine by his mum who never thought this day would come. I am so happy for them and it shows no matter how bad things get they do get better with time! he is a delight and a good looking young man who is not aware of that fact!
Elsa (Jane) I hope you managed to go to your wine tasting? Sounds like a plan just hope you also found your way home! What a way to spend an evening! I am so with you on the weight thing but I now don’t fret too much any way I splurged on some new clothes and felt a bit better but I am hoping now that all treatment has finished (apart from tabs) I will lose it and won’t mind too much if I am not the weight I was before, I am just glad to be starting to feel better and the tummy thing I had has almost gone with the few twinges so that will do for me!
Hero I hope you are feeling better? The wibbly wobbly days do sometimes get to us but the hand is always there for you and the wonderful flutterbys have a way of making you smile. We have all found our way through the mind bender of BC it is slow but somehow we are getting to a place where we grow into who we want to be and that will mean for many not being the person we were pre BC but you know what? I think I appreciate the small things so much more these days. As and when I have the energy I get great satisfaction from completing small jobs which I would have took in my stride but not with the same sense of pride I get nowadays! So slow yes but changed for the better? yes I think so! Wow! get me being all deep and meaningful! I think that you all know where I am coming from.
Fluffy Chick I hope you are well? I do look for you but understand since the changes everyone is a little wary of posting. I think it is highly addictive! Sending you a hug!
If I missed anyone I apologise but this is for all our flutterbys posting and reading a massive group hug, spoons and love Em xxxxxxxx
d’you know, I SO admire those of you who can reply to everyone… I’m so a broad brush person, not a detail person!
How weird is this… sitting last night, and all of a sudden I had that “itchy nipple”… only on the side where I don’t have a nipple! Anyone else had this? Peculiar! 
You’re right Em, the smaller things are much more important.
The rain’s back, but it’s supposed to ease off for a few days 
Hello Flutterbys…
I just had to post, Emmy you shamed me into it,ha ha!!! I still lurk and admire you all and I’m with you gijane in my admiration for mentioning everyone individually…I just can’t manage that…
Well all is okay but I am trying to sort out a lot of my mental rubbish which is draining…I need some warm sunshine to help me recharge…
I’m not going to do a long post in case this gets lost in cyberspace… if it doesn’t i will be back as they say!!!
Take care lovely beautiful flutterbys xxxxxxx
Ha! Ha! Fluffy! I thought you might read it bless you I hope you are getting your ducks in a row and I think the ‘head stuff’ is a hard one to get around. So glad you popped on , we have sunshine and it’s windy ,cold ! So with you on the sunshine thing it makes us all feel better. Right just got home so I am going to get tea on and have a bath then PJ’s!!! Take care all big hugs Em xxxxx
Well the wine tasting on Friday went really well…I was quite anxious about going…and was slightly tested when on arrival one of the group grabbed my hand and asked me if I was well, meaning…was I REALLY well (nod, nod, wink, wink! 
) Obviously she’d heard about me but I knew that most of the group didn’t know about what’s been happening these last few months and neither do I want them to know really. So, I said that, yes, I was well and quickly changed the subject before anyone else cottoned on to this conversation…she means so well though bless her. Luckily I kept the tears in check as usually I start welling up but not this time thank goodness…is this a good sign?? After this shaky start the evening went very well…we had 14 wines to get through!! By the end I was quite tipsy and agreed to go swimming this week with one of them…help…this will be the first time in my new mx costume but this friend knows what I’ve had done so should be ok. Doz, my son made sure I got home as he came to collect me!!
Fluffy Chick…hope you sort out your mental rubbish as you say, it is the hardest part of all of this…sunshine is forecast for at least the next 2 days so make the most of it. 
GI Jane- funny you should mention the itchy nipple that isn’t there…because I’ve had a similar sort of feeling…is this a phantom itch!
Just come back from a walk around Powis Castle gardens, which was lovely…they had a jazz band playing in the courtyard so sat around there enjoying a cup of tea in the sunshine listening to the music. Bought a beautiful deep red geranium on my way out…can never resist!! Now cooking roast lamb to have before THE MATCH tonight…come on England.
Take care flutterbies
Jane xxx
Hi everyone and a big welcome to Hero67, lovely to meet you. Gosh I remember everything you’ve described so well, most of the time is much better now but I remember a real feeling of vagueness and detachment, not wanting to socialise or make small talk! You have joined a lovely bunch of girls here.
Thank you Emmy, Ami Jane et al for the hand holding on Friday, very much appreciated especially when she clamped me so close to the machine that I ended up with two grooves on my nose lol! Surgeon thinks it is the edges of normal breast tissue, but at least he found the lumps. He was pretty dismissive but brought forward my first mammo, due Sept. I had five very flat squeezes, wasn’t prepared for it to be much sorer than pre surgery. He didn’t want to see me back in clinic so after mammo I headed home, so I guess a letter will arrive this week?
Doz am I being thick? Where did you put lovely Vikki’s pic because I cannot see it! duh! Jane, so glad the colposcopy result was good, must be a huge relief.
The wine tasting sounds great Elsa Jane! and was it Janice extolling the virtues of Slimming World? Yes they are fab. I have ate out three times this week and been at a party though so heaven knows if I have managed to just maintain my weight this week. Thank heavens for free chips to fill up with!
Sorry girls, I’ve missed a fair few posts out, been four days so sorry. Take care you lovely lot. xxxxx Carolyn xxxx
G.I.Jane know what you mean it is getting harder to reply to everyone as our group is getting bigger so I think sometimes it is easier to just send a general post to everyone.Everyone sounds a lot more positive these days and I think we are getting our confidence back slowly but surely hope you have all had a good weekend it has rained here but we still managed a walk between showers love Janice xx
I’m in a chuck out mood! I haven’t sorted out much stuff since BC and it’s amazing what’s accumulated. I’ve been in this mood since I began feeling more energetic and now I’m paying attention to detail with the house cleaning etc. A relative of mine died from cancer around Christmas and attended the same hospital for treatment as myself, so his wife and family are collecting anything for a stall at a local gala and also a car boot sale to raise funds for this cancer hospital. I’ve previously been leaving charity sacks outside but have found that sometimes they’re stolen by a rogue van which trawls round before the charity vans! Sometimes I’ve agonised over whether to throw out an article but have done so with the thought it will raise much needed funds, e.g. air ambulance etc. and the thought that someone has taken my sack for themselves has really annoyed me. Anyhow, after decluttering I do find I’m left with a calmer mind and a weight lifted which must be good! Doz, I too cried when I first posted. I was at such a low ebb and couldn‘t understand, when I‘d finished treatment, why I felt this way. I’m so glad I did post and hope we encourage anyone to join us. Big congratulations to Megan! Another Nurse in the family, and what a lovely thought to buy her the watch! Do hope you enjoyed your special tea. Jane, I’ve had the phantom itch around the area, very strange! I think the broad brush is so apt. I’m an artist by nature and just have to paint in detail such as each eyelash on every little figure (not really but you know what I mean) so maybe that’s why I’m a bit of long poster and try to mention everyone but do miss flutterbys if they haven’t posted, sometimes. I have fine brushes, literally. I guess if you were to paint it would be in oils on very large canvases….or is it due to the ‘flock’ type job you do? I’m not going to mention everyone today so just know I’m thinking of every flutterby with love and urging you to recover! But do come flit, Fluffy Chick! Elsa Jane, I used to feel a bit like you….didn’t like to tell people. Now I don’t care at all and will freely talk about it to anyone. I think it comes easier, eventually. Enjoy your lamb and the match tonight! Sooooo pleased you’re feeling brighter Emmy. I like the sound of your grandson who isn’t aware of how good looking he is! I think he is about to find out at college! Ha ha ha! Carolyn, very glad you went on OK. They have to check these things out though and I expect your letter will be positive. Two grooves on your nose, ha, ha, ha. Did you hear us all going Oooooh Aaaarggh in the corner? Think mine was a crick in the neck!
Enjoy your evening, flutterbys, quiver gently. Love Ami xx
Morning all flutterbys - hope everybody is feeling ok today.
Hero - you’re definitely in the right place! Hope you’re feeling better now you know that its normal.
GI Jane - I have the phantom itch as well and its awful when you go to scrtach it and it doesn’t go away!
Lunch with my youngest son Stef went well - love life is back on the up. Tom my middle one came down to Leicester for the weekend and eldest son James also paid us a visit on Saturday so was lovely to see them all - always gives me a lift.
I’ve read through all the posts and I’m another one who finds it difficult to reply individually but thinking of you all ( I sometimes make notes if its a specific point!)
At beginning of May I joined a Rock Choir Group which I really enjoy - on Weds we have a concert where all 4 Leics choirs join up and raise money for Rainbows - a childrens charity in Leicester. My problem is that I only joined in May but they’ve been learning the sons since last September! So I’ve been on You Tube all weekend, listening to my MP3 etc - just hope I can remember them all! The other ladies are very encouraginging though and just say go for it - we’re there to have fun -so I am.
Another birthday at work, so nice piece of cake to go with my cuppa.
Hugs to everybody
Stella xx
Hi all a quicker flitter today as just got back from the hospital, well it seems the hip is not arthritis it is Bursitis which has been with me some time now, it is so painful sometimes I bump down the stairs on my bottom (so dignified!) just been told it may need laser therapy or some physio so have to go for a full appraisel app soon. Hands and feet have osteo arthritis but specialist is reserving judgement till…I do another blood test!!! arrgghhh!!! As Doz would say but it may be rheumatoid as it went during chemo??? hence the further tests and then the killer…lose some weight? erm! I actually found myself explaining that I had not long finished steroids and am taking Arimidex, the specialist was fab it seems her best friend is at about the same point as myself and had exactly the same treatment and is still recovering as she gets so tired!!! Heaven no need to explain but I will look at the weight thing not quite sure how much I can do excercise wise as I still get so tired but it made sense! So much for quick! But hey ho it is a lovely day here sun is shining so I think I will sit outside for a while and enjoy! Enjoy flutterbys while we have it! Big hugs Em xxxx
Hi Emmy -I’ve not heard of bursitis before but it does sound that you’re in a lot of pain. As you say the weight thing is a problem as you’re restricted to what you can do. I have a Rosemary Conley Video that also does a chair exercise routine - it may help a little. I’ll look out the title if you think it might help. You enjoy the sunshire while its here and try not to think about the BT!
Stella x
Hah Ami, thought I heard something strange going on in the corner lol! Frustrating day at work today. Hubby away all week, result a small glass of wine and I am sitting in bed!
Take care Flutterbies. xxx
Hi Flutterbys
Carolyn Just for you Vikki is doing an encore
There is so much to read since I last came on… only 24 hrs ago and 9 more posts what busy bee’s you’ve all been!!
I’ve had company all weekend which has been really good for us both… and the weather has really picked up since saturday when the heavens opened for over 36 hrs!!! but I finally managed an Ami and did a de clutter yesterday morning… I have 2 outbuildings which are brilliant for storing but I have been adding to the storing for well over a yr and now have to climb over things to find anything… so out it all came and 75% got either bagged up for Dove House Hospice or went to the tip this morning I can now swing a cat ha ha!!
Em you poor love Bursitis sounds so painful I have heard of it but didnt know much about it… ouch!!! Glad you have finally got some answers and can get started on treatment xxxx
Jane how I envy the tipsy wine tasting night I hav’nt been able to drink for a while now I end up with Migraine after just one!! Mind you it was a large brandy
Janice what a lovely pic of you and hubby and yes I see the confidence slowly coming back with the flutterbys too
Stella I LOVE the sound of the chair exercises now that is my kind of keeping the weight off I must look for it
GI Jane I so hope you are chilling and having some well earned me time?? You know you want too
Ami Megan is such a sweetie and although we hav’nt known each other long its nice that she is keeping in touch with us while Daniel is away we spent hrs talking about what he got up to as a child on Saturday … not sure he would approve ha ha but he was a good boy and nothing untoward was said
Fluffy chick I’m so pleased your back in the fold where you belong you have been missed x
Hope I hav’nt forgotten anyone its a short one tonight as the battery is running low and I cant find the charger!!!
So love hugs and a wish for more sun to you all stay well and flutter gently girlies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you for the encore Doz. What a lovely photo, really hope progress continues nice and rapidly! Look after yourself too, impressed with the de cluttering but don’t overdo it lol. x
Emmy, I think Bursitis is usually caused by pressure, e.g. housemaids knee, but seems it can be caused by rheumatoid arthritis. You must be so sore and fed up as it’s inflammation. As if what you have to cope with isn’t enough! However, you must be relieved to know what it is and can start getting the correct treatment. Not sure about exercising it though. Might aggravate it? Sending you a big hug, flutterby. Stella, bet the Rock Choir really gives you a lift. Even though you’ve only been singing since May, just simply joining in and the coming together sounds so uplifting. Doz, is decluttering contagious? Shall I send you some of my tablets? Ha ha ha! So nice to see your picture Janice, but I’m still apprehensive as you don’t have to sign in to look at our photo’s, which is not good. (Just had to sign in to post tonight!!) Carolyn, wondering if I’ve missed you ’cos you’re already in bed already! Had a fine day today, washing done as it’s forecast rain for rest of week, also some good tidy up gardening until I disturbed an ‘ants grotto’ full of ants and their eggs!
Enjoy your evening, everyone. Love Ami xx