YIPEEEE!!! So glad for you jmr! enjoy the wine you deserve it, as for pantomime horse (ami?) that actually sounds like a plan to me! I have had to buy clothes as put on loads of weight trouble is I now have 3 different sizes in my wardrobe now?? in case I lose the weight when I finish steroids in April when I finish Herceptin…maybe dreaming but hell I don’t want to chuck anything out yet till I know for sure!!! Wish we could have expandable clothes but failing that move over which do you want to be?? bagsy front end!! Hey Doz reckon we could do our catwalk thing PJ’s and panto horse ,we would make a fortune!!! Big hugs all Em xxxx
Hi everyone
Emmy, I too have 3 different sized clothes. I’ve finished steroids & Herceptin but I’m still waiting for the weight to go. When I get my head round it I’ll have to try and lose it, but when I look in the mirror it’s not me!! Don’t chuck anything out - the smaller sizes may be your inspiration, eventually. I’m afraid I look like the back end of the pantomime horse, Emmy, in my leisure suit. Why don’t I look like her in the advert? What with my wheat filled microwave slippers I look a sight for sore eyes. No wonder I nip out to the bin and back pretty sharpish! Hugs, Ami xx
I am sure you will all eventually regain your figure slimming world is a great place to go and they are so supportive not just in losing weight but in other ways too some of the people I have met there have supported me through my B.C journey as well so when all the S… treatment is over I can recommend it.just enjoyed my 2 glasses of wine with my hubby who is ecstatic as newcastle won tonight.Thanks for your support everyone signing off for the nght as think wine gone to my head so at least I will sleep well I hope lots of hugs jmr xx
Hi Butterfly’s
I had a day off yesterday… forced! My daughter took me out for the day 
we went to the coast and had fish n chips OH YES the figure will suffer more but what the H**L
JMR i,m soooooo pleased for you “you plonker” ha ha…I bet you slept well, I would.nt have shared the bottle tho i,d have swam in it, such good news girl :)I,m not sure i,ll ever regain my figure now as I have tried to be as active as possible Gym/badminton/work etc and i,ve eaten sensibly all thats left is lyposuction Ha ha!!! and 5 yrs of Letrozole!!
I did loose half a stone initially after treatment and working my butt off at the gym then it just stopped… leaving about an extra stone to go 
and its all around the middle Mitchelin tyre comes to mind!!! So that,ll be my catwalk costume Em…!
Ami dont despair we all have 3 different sized clothes, I,m back into the 2nd size but I do enjoy wearing the 3rd size every now and then… It makes me feel so much slimmer and boy are they comfortable!! The smallest sizes are put away for now in the “where did I go” section of the wardrobe!Hopefully they,ll go out of fashion and I wont want to take a peak… but I miss my jeans the ones I have now are stretchy and tho comfy I want the joy of pulling a zip up again and i,m certainly not getting bigger ones as being 5’2" I’d look a right wally so stretchy ones for now… and not these tight legged things you see all over, I get the boot cut! it levels out the look :)I can dream!
Knee is improving slowly still strapped up and cant straighten it fully but bending it a bit more each day… back at Dr,s tonight to decide if I need to see orthoepedic’s fingers crossed I wont! I,m sick of hospitals!
Well flutterby’s it does,nt matter what you emerege into your all beautiful people and reading your posts is a pleasure… “where did I go” I dont think I went anywhere its just our uninvited guest making its presence known that messes the head up and I,m just bigger ha ha ha ha!!!More to love my son said… I luv im!!
Big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxDozxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi ladies. I can’t believe how much it helps to read your comments. I was diagnosed at the end of August with a 8mm grade 1 and had my operation at the end of September. It’s now six weeks since the op and I have an oncology appointment on the 2nd December to arrange the three weeks R/Therapy, I have also been taking Tamoxifen for the past two weeks. My follow up consultation was all good with no spread in either the surrounding tissues or the two lymph nodes they removed so I’ve been told that at the moment Chemo isn’t necessary. I know I should be feeling great, but instead I feel as though everybody is treating me as if I had a cold. I even felt like the breast care nurse couldn’t wait to get rid of me and leave her time to deal with someone who deserved it. I know how lucky I am to have such a great diagnosis, so why do I keep crying all the time when I’m alone? I can’t tell anyone how I’m feeling because I feel that they will think I am making a fuss about nothing. Does anyone else feel like having a good diagnosis makes them feel worthless and just a nuisance?
Dearest Doz…you have gone nowhere …,you are the lovely Mum of super kids (no matter how old) and you love them more than anything in the world. The thought of Daniel going to Afghanistan is breaking your heart… But you are not giving him a hard time. He is a brave man doing what he has to do and he knows you are proud of him and will be there for him. It all puts the rotten disease to one side. You have more on your mind now.
So see you in the JM for a large one, we will toast him!
Cackles xxx
Hmmm!!! I am 5ft and feel like a tele tubby , gone are the days of slinky clothes and in comes cover up tops and long sleeves :(( But heck we are still here so can’t moan! Funny isn’t it when having my treatment post chemo chat with onco he tells me Arimdex may thin my hair, make me put on weight, then proceeds to advise that I try to lose weight??? yes I have the Mitchelin look too Doz! I love the ‘forced to go out thing!’ I am still feeling a little jealous though pleased as my son and wife are winging their way as I write to the Maldives!!! How lovely is that? never mind I don’t feel too glam for a beach anyway so winter is a kindness for me (all those layers!)
Here’s hoping my flutterby self will emerge next year ready for anything!!! Hugs to all Em xxxxxxxxxxxxx
welcome kazann I know how you feel my diagnosis was good as well but people do care and sometimes they just don’t know what to say.You will find out who your true friends are anyway. Whether your dignosis is good or not b.c messes with your head and breast care nurses are there for you if you need to talk so please give them a call before you get too far down. and we are all here on this site to support you so keep logging in big hug to you jmr xx
Hi Kazann
I’ve not been posting on here long but have found the girls on here a great group for lifting each others spirits. It’s understandable you feel as you do, you’re only human. People do care - the profession sees so much of it unfortunately, so they know only too well what we’re going through and how we might feel - but your diagnosis is yours alone and you have to cope with it all, don’t you? An operation can make you feel very weak and weepy for some time. As we’re all different it hits us in all sorts of ways.
Don’t forget, we’re all here for you and in it together!
I’m sending you a big hug from a distance. Ami xx
Hi Ami & jmr
Thank you so much for your comments and support. I think just bringing your feelings into the open helps. I just don’t feel that I can talk to the breast care nurse as I’m sure she thinks I’m wasting her time and at least I feel that I’m talking to people who understand on here.
Kindest regards xxx
Hi Kazann, jmr and Ami are right this is the place to come to offload, the women on here are amazing! I know what you mean re BC nurse it can feel like they don’t care I had one who kept handing me leaflets never spoke much to me so I asked to see another nurse and she was lovely! I had struggled with Lympho and the first nurse kept giving me leaflets on excercise,telling me I didn’t have a problem .When I saw the second nurse she said yep Lympho and made me an app to see the specialist nurse so now I get the support I need at clinic. The best way I can describe it for me was that Cancer became my world but everyone was dealing with their own issues, I am sure there is no ill intent but I found that the best place to get understanding was here. Keep on posting keep in touch and it will get better I can’t believe it sometimes if I look back but it does slowly get there. As for making a ‘fuss about nothing’, there is no such thing the worry and fear are all too real, leaving you in a sort of limbo away from others which is why you feel so alone.You are not! There are loads of lovely women who can give you advice,give you space to vent and last but not least don’t make you feel silly!!! You take care sending massive hugs and hope you feel a little better soon Em xxx
Hi Kazaan
I agree it does help to talk about things - it helps us get things in perspective doesn’t it? Like Emmy, I thought you might try another BC nurse if you don’t feel you’re in tune with a particular one. We often come across to others as very different than we feel inside. Perhaps you look lovely and confident when others don’t know we are crying on the inside. Well, I hope you’ve had a good weep and feel much better for it. Better out than in. There’s no shame in that!
Keep us all posted, we are holding our arms out for you. Ami xx
i first posted on this site on 6th october and was feeling so bad I thought I would go mad but then all you lovely butterflies helped me to feel so much better and I think I am on the way to finding myself again.The first nurse I had didn’t impress me either and I noticed she is no longer one of the breast care nurses at the hospital maybe some of them just can’t cope with the job as the ones I have spoken to and seen since are very patient and didn’t make me feel as if I was a wuss so Kazann there will be one there for you. HUGS TO EVERYONE JMR XX
Morning my lovely butterflies… I see we have a new chrysalis (did I spell that right?) hello Kazann xxx and welcome to the site that says it how it is… and some
I think the way you are feeling as everyone has said is the next stage to coming to terms with it all and yes hon its a lot to come to terms with… it comes uninvited and there is,nt anything you can do but go along with what is given etc., I had a reasonably good diagnosis too and felt just the same… I could,nt understand why I was,nt jumping up and down (not with my knickers in the air might I add) with joy at being told they had removed it all… Cos after all girlie its still cancer and still a very traumatic feeling to know its touched your life… Sweetheart its SUCH early days for you and you would be SUPER human if you could just carry on as normal… you poor love it took me back to a year ago when I was in exactly the same boat as you my op was Nov 8… it has passed soo qiuckly yet I still wonder where the time went??
We are all here to support and help you in any way we can so feel free to join in with the PJ gang… there are some very amazing ladies on here who will laugh with you cry with you but the support will be amazing so welcome with open arms and a big hug from us all xxxx
Oh my dear Cackles how sweet of you, you kind of got it in one and tissues at the ready thankyou xx
Went to Dr’s re knee and I dont have to see Orthoepedics WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO just carrying on with Physio for a couple of weeks then get re.assessed!
How positive everyone is beginning to sound I know we will all still have our low days but the turn around in everyone is brilliant compared to how we were when first posting… there is going to be a lot of pretty butterfly’s around next year… mark my words!!!
Love and huge hugs to everyone xxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxx Doz
Hi Doz
Thank you so muh for your post and of course all the other lovely ladies. I felt like I was the only one who had a good diagnosis and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t coping. You’ve made me realise that this is a journey and you’re right I am only at the beginning, I still have to have the R/Therapy yet. Having spoke to you and emmy who have both had good diagnosis, I now realise that my feelings are nomal (for us butterflies at least) and the difference it’s made has been amazing. I had a good cry yesterday but today feel so much better and able to look forward. On a sad note, one of my bestfriends who had BC 4 years ago has found another lump and now waiting for the follow up checks at the hospital. Hopefully it’ll turn out to be nothing serious.
My love to you all, you are amazing XXX Ann
HI Kazann its awful when someone who is recovering finds another lump(I didn’t have any signs at all was found at mammogram and was 22mm)but you have to be positive as treatments are so good now.Hope it is not too serious for her.I am still on a high after my positive results just hope don’t come down with a bang it might hurt he he.I have unfortunately lost friends this year to the big C not all breast cancer but life does go on and Iknow they would want me to be positive.Hope all you butterflies have had a good day and yes Doz you did spell chrylasis correctly I checked it for you big hugs to all xx
Wise words jmr. Kazann- you are right, it is a journey. I’ve got a good diagnosis too, but am aware there are no guarantees. We all go through a load of different emotions and I’m sure there will be more to come. I am having counselling at the moment and the lady I see likened te emotions to a bereavement.
You are in the right place here. Good luck.
Hi Doz hope your knee continues to improve and you are soon playing badders again.I think you started a wonderful site and I think we are all starting to find ourselves again I enjoy reading everyones posts and the alone feeling I had has almost gone. Its funny how you can be surrounded by people yet still feel alone but not anymore because I know you beautiful ladies are out there. So thanks again jmr xxx
Hi everyone
I,m so glad I have had the opportunity and fortune to have contact with you all too, what started out to be me thinking I was such a wuss for “not getting over it” has turned out to be a godsend in more ways than one… and I really enjoy the banter we all have… oh my! I just said “enjoy” ha ha!! who would have thought it 3 months back when I was so low and despondant…
I,m so sorry to read about friends who have the uninvited guest intrude into their lives its so sad. A good friend of mine is battling with a brain tumour and has just been told that no more can be done poor girl has had 2 yrs of treatment/chemo and has just been through chemo implants to no avail, She is such an inspiration and has so much strength that it makes me feel humble and a bit weak when my diagnosis was so much better than hers yet I still almost fell apart…
then along came you flutterby’s xxx
Kazann My thoughts are with you on your journey If I can give you any advice it would be to stay positive and set yourself a goal (I had the 2012 olympics… I kept telling myself how much I was looking forward to seeing them )No one can say how your treatment will make you feel but remember to be kind to yourself whatever emotions you go through it will all be normal cry if you want rant with us if you want just buy yourself some nice PJ’s for the days when you just cant be bothered, we are all different and I do think if you just take each day at a time it,ll all be over before you know it sweetheart xx were all here and are all old hats at it now :o old hats indeed sorry girls I could have picked a better description erhum!!!
Went for a swim today… over did it a bit and suffering tonight but it did me good to give the knee some gentle exercise… I think???
Just watching An Idiot abroad for the 2nd time and I just love that guy tell it like it is Karl he,s ace! Em said he should be PM oh that conjures up such joy for any of you girls who have seen him…
Hope you are all well and happy i,m so happy for you Jmr I,ll bet your still riding high
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I thought I was too tired last night but then on came Idiot and I watched it again as I laughed so hard first time round I wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed anything! It’s boggling my mind Doz!!! We are totally nuts!
I was just reading your post and you are right the first time I wrote on this thread I did it with tears running down my face and now I look forward to seeing who has done what and where they are up to! What a difference to be able to talk about the good along with the bad it has in a sense freed me! Doz you shame me swimming??? mind you can’t swim nearly drowned as a child and that has been me since! did make sure my children could though.
Well ladies to dress or not to dress??? Not got to rush anywhere or do anything today so methinks the PJ’s will win! Have a relaxing day and those with appointments you are not alone we are with you !!
BIG group hug! Em xxxxxxx