Emmy, you are so lovely. Thankyou for being there.
Just a quickie I,m a bit lost…? Ami I assume from Em,s post things are not going well for you sweetie so looked back to see if i’d missed a post but I hav’nt, I dont know whats wrong but I’ll be there to bash anyone you need sorting out… along with all the fiercesome flutterbys, sorry its a bit of a ??? post just wanted to tell you when one of us is going through a bad time were all there for each other lots of hugs and spoons Ami I hope things start to improve soon xxxhugxxx
Thankyou for the hand holding tomorrow I think i’ll be too tired to care by the time this stint of nights is over… so laugh all you want my lovelies 
as i’ll probably be asleep at the machine xx
Janice I’ve been feeding the birds all summer the little blighters are so tame they sit on the hedge if the feeder is empty just looking in at the window… and i’ve been feeding them solid since last xmas… They know i’m a soft touch I’ve just bought 3 x 15kg bags of wild bird food as it was getting expensive buying them in 2kg bags and a pet shop in Hull was selling the 3 for £21 thats a massive saving We also get 3 types of Tits too Coal tits Blue and Great… but a few weeks ago we had a few long tailed Tits in the garden and we dont normally see those, they are so tiny and chatty… also we have recently been seeing a pair woodpeckers, much to my neighbours dismay they start hammering very early in the morning on a tree right next to their bedroom!! I’ve been amazed at the amount of Geese that have been flying over towards the Humber at one point there were 11 groups going over V shaped and the noise was deafening… one of the group of V’s had 34 Geese in it so all in all a very busy flypast I hope the phonecall to the councillors goes well I do agree though it does seem like the time of yr is’nt helping any of us… anniversaries memories reminders etc…yes and the what if’s… and just blinkin awful weather 
I had a harsh reminder of winter to come this morning when I left work I had to scrape the ice of my car… now that is depressing!!! Break over sigh! back to work I go
Love to all… big hug to those in need and a big hug even if your not Take care xxxxhugxxxx
This site definately has Gremlins… I just posted and loo and behold one has popped up from you Ami that was posted an hour before mine??? Yet when I looked to see if you were ok it was’nt there???
Bless you I do hope the tummy gets better soon, as for the crazies just ignore them if you can honey some people just are’nt worth the ground they walk on or do what everyone else seems to be doing lately tell them if they dont stop harrassing you, you’ll sue them!!! I think when we are feeling delicate and vulnerable things like that seem to get to you more so along with all our other floundering flutterbys… be very gentle with yourself too Ami, for one who has always empathized and given such sound advice let me give you some in return and with love… DONT LET THE B*****S GRIND YOU DOWN xxxxxhugsxxxx
Like Doz, I saw the responses to Ami and went BACK looking for what might ibe the issue… gave up eventually, read on, and found your post Ami, out of order. I can only guess you edited it, which makes it pop up further down the list… either that or the site (or us) is/are going mad! Horrid for you, as Doz said… Nil Illegitmii Carborundum. That’s what you said Doz - honest! I had that on the whiteboard in my office for several months a few years ago, and no-one knew what it meant, or commented on it, until the Bishop came for some reason, sat looking at it and burst out laughing! ooops!
Anyway, don’t let them get you down (easier said than done, I know). Picture in your head a piece of string, which is all the hold they have over you with their nastiness (and your hurt) and imagine yourself cutting it with a pair of scissors… let it go… you don’t need to hold on to that rubbish… (will work if you are one that thinks in pictures, but not be helpful if you think in lists!!!)
Doz - holding hand…
I had a quiet weekend - not called out at all YAY! And what you said about fatique and sluggishness makes sense Doz… will definitely do best to rest more… Son & DIL are coming on Friday for the weekend, so that’ll be lovely (if NOT restful!)
Have a good week flutterbies. I love the thought of us all flapping in a protective wall round each other…
Let’s go for it flutter >>>>> flap >>>>> fluttER>>>>>>>
Jane xx
I could really do with that 8 weeks prescription thing! Be with you on Monday, Doz. You’ve had such a lot to cope with, it’s no wonder you’re feeling rubbish. You’re trying hard to keep your head above water but on’t go under! Jane’s made food, you’ve made your bed, ha, ha, and I’ve made an online grocery order which wouldn’t go through the checkout, grrrrh!The cooking sounds good E-Jane and I could just do with a walk to see the wildlife and blow the cobwebs away. Those tears in the car, a good way to get it all out, ready to cope with the day ahead, perhaps? The thing is, deliberating about going to see the doctor, it’s not as if we don’t know why we’re like the way we are, I wonder if we just need a long time? I think what Emmy has said makes a lot of sense - wise, wise, flutterby she is! Jane, my friend, so sorry to hear how you feel. I can empathise as I have felt rubbish this week and feeling rubbish is frustrating as I feel I’m wasting time! I don’t know how you cope, and when dealing with people it must be really hard to stay upbeat all the time. I imagine it’s easy to be swept in and go along with things you really could have done with saying no to. It’s a wonder you’re still upright, let alone talking to everyone politely with a smile. Long term tiredness causes all sorts of other illnesses. Please don’t let it go too far, flutterby, as it’s a long road back. Doesn’t anyone really realise you need help? Hope the ironing’s done, Stella, my 90yr old Aunt puts it under the settee cushion and after everybody’s sat on it it’s all put away “ironed”! This weepiness we talk about, I’m sure it’s as GI Jane says. We also keep it all within, looking like we’re coping to the outside world when really we’re like that little cartoon dog with the bandages on the advert who says “I’ve been in an accident!” I’ve had a horrible week, I pulled a muscle across the side of my stomach and the pain has taken my breath away. Been taking paracetamol and filling the hot water bottle but I feel quite fragile and could cry if I thought about it too much. Then to top it all I’ve had a bl***y awful weekend, with some people who tried, to threaten about something that was nothing to do with us. I’ve let it all out in the shower tonight…my fav place for that, but all this has left me even more fragile and makes me lose faith in people somewhat. Yes Jane, definitely flip flop. I might come and join you Janice, on Tuesday, ha, ha. Hope it goes well for you and just think about Doz in her bikini, not caring what she looks like! Love that! Hand free to give to all you who have appointments this week.
Me on here….dogs cue to turn into a Cornish Pasty!
Big hug and love to all, Ami xx
reading alot of these really does make me feel less alone snd much more normal whatever normal is now.
Angi xx
Ami my dear your post seems to be doing leap frogs… Or I,m going loopy ha ha! One minuite it’s on 18th Nov now it’s cartwheeled to 19th and is now the latest post… Spooky xxx
Glad to hear you had some rest Jane Just what the Flutterbys ordered I love that quote too, it has depth hope everyone is picking up a bit got a photo shoot to go to so one more coffee then off I trot… eeeeek! Love to you ALL xxxxhugsxxx
Angie your never alone… We all know the feeling of being a bit misplaced, BC has a knack of doing that until you hear it from others… It’s all about giving our bodies AND mind time to accept what has happened and being a victim to C does seem to have the ability to do that to us… We’re all still fragile and vulnerable but your never alone sweetheart xxxhugxxx
All done and dusted… But not a happy bunny I was sent to a different dept for mammo… They didn’t know when i got there that they were running the Survivors check up clinic… (What an awful name!) so I eventually got bustled in and bustled out just as quick and that was it… No info no BC nurses no chat nothing I asked about results and the Radiographer didn’t have a clue… Some 2nd year follow up! Came out feeling totally discarded Wish I,d had a sleep now before I went… Jaded is a good description! So I went shopping and spoilt myself… A big chocolate cake which will be consumed very shortly xxxxxhugsxxxx
Ami sorry that you seem to be having a bad time I haven’t seen a post from you so can’t comment on it just read Dozs Sending you a special hug anyway and hope you feel better soon its not nice when one of ours is having problems but whatever it is I’m with you all the way and agree with all Doz has said take care and flutter gently and a hug for the sausage roll ha ha love Janice xxx
Doz hope all was okay today and I didn’t giggle so it wasn’t me ha ha.
Love and hugs to everyone else Janice xxxxxxxx
<script type=“text/javascript”>// <![CDATA[<br>
var vglnk = { api_url: ‘//api.viglink.com/api’, key: ‘a187ca0f52aa99eb8b5c172d5d93c05b’ };<br>
// ]]></script><script type=“text/javascript” src=“//cdn.viglink.com/api/vglnk.js”></script>
Oops Doz your post must have arrived while I was typing mine.Thats dreadful the way you were treated it seems as if nobody cared and survivors check up clinic is a diabolical name someone needs to be aware of how insensitive it sounds big hug on its way.
Ami just found your post I can’t understand whats happening they are jumping all over and some just disappearing into oblivion.I so feel for you going through such arotten time.I did feel I was wasting docs time until I went last week and saw a doc who has been ther for years and he was so nice I burst into tears and hence referal for counselling which starts tomorrow so going to stock up on the tissues.do hope your tummy gets better soon and as I say I think its that time of tear and we are all feeling vulnerable Love and HUGS and lots of spoons (haven’t got any left to stir my tea now ha ha )Janice xxxxxxxxxxxxx
<script type=“text/javascript”>// <![CDATA[<br>
var vglnk = { api_url: ‘//api.viglink.com/api’, key: ‘a187ca0f52aa99eb8b5c172d5d93c05b’ };<br>
// ]]></script><script type=“text/javascript” src=“//cdn.viglink.com/api/vglnk.js”></script>
more hugs being sent! How insensitive was that Doz? For goodness sakes every appointment is important to us all and it just seemed like a bit of a factory a sort of done off you go , next!? I think some people really need educating on how to work with those who have been through a life threatening journey! Survivors clinic honestly? How cliched is that? I am another who does not like the terminology which seems to go around with pink and fluffy ,it seems to imply that’s it over and done with and labels that we haven’t been consulted on, why oh why am I not surprised?
well done on the choccy cake! You go right ahead with chocolate therapy it will do much more good than the insensitive twits! I do so despair I honestly thought people who worked with us all were trained as it is such a specialist area of need, I have certainly had my eyes opened to the reality of what really is!
I can only send you a consoling hug and still hand holding till you know what is what! Take care flutterbys sending the usual spoons,Janice hope you found yours for the tea ( most important!) along with much love and as ever group hug xxxxxxxxxxxx
Do you not have a follow up appointment with surgical team Doz? I have my mammo booked annually, and an appointment to discuss results with surgeon a week or two after it. I don’t expect (or get) any tlc for that, but that’s OK knowing I’ll see someone soon… I’m still on 6 monthly checks (not having got to 2 years yet)… if the old LD doesn’t behave I’ll be seeing him/her sooner!
seems the forum’s all over the place…
flutterhugs to all… especially those who are fragile…
just been told we can’t have even 0.6 of a person, now 0.4… so… that leaves 2.3 of us providing 24 hour cover… not possible without changing how we work. But I think they’d quite like to chop the on call cover (save more money) and that’ll seriously affect the support some patients get (need) outside office hours… I’ll try not to worry about that until it happens… seems like a good motto for all sorts of things!
night night flutterbies…
flap gently … and rest…
love Jane xx
Survivor’s clinic…who was the idiot that named that one!! Unbelievable. I’m due to have my first check up mammogram in January so not sure what happens in this neck of the woods…don’t know if I see the doctor the same day or have to wait a couple of weeks for results. Yesterday an appointment arrived for me to have a mammogram with Breast Test Wales on 30th November 2012 so I need to phone them and tell them my situation.
Anyway…gotta go…work beckons…love, hugs and spoons to everyone
Jane xx
Hi Jane/s
There was absolutely no communication at my appointment… So maybe we are meant to be mind readers to know when we get results and a possible future appointment to discuss them? I,m sure it’s all about cutbacks too??
I was, after my first check up told that I don’t get to see the Consultant again till the 5 yrs are up which is,nt a problem if there is,nt any problems… But I was told I would see a BC Nurse specialist… I,m hoping that’s still to come but this appointment has left me feeling very alone and discarded it was very matter of fact very impersonal and totally lacking, I don’t want people gushing over me but for f…'s sake to be sent to a clinic where they didn’t even know they were running it till I got there and to not even have someone to relate to just leaves me numb! Am I being dramatic? Cos In the greater scheme of things I still feel raw… 2 yrs is nothing when you,ve been diagnosed once and still taking meds maybe its just me but I would have liked the chance to have had even a 10 min chat before I was sent on my way just to even explain what happens next and how long I have to wait is,nt such a big ask… Is it? maybe it is just me feeling a bit vulnerable again… Sorry Flutterbys I do go on don’t I
love a biggest of hugs to you all xxxxxxhugsxxxxx
Hi Doz - I don’t blame you for going on - that name is awful and you would think that you’d be told when and how you get the results. I see my surgeon and oncologist alternately for next five years. I’m actually going to Breast Cancer Unit at my hospital for my mammogram so hopefully will get a bit more information.
Saw my GP yesterday for review of medication and she asked how my arm was, I said it still hurts when I do anything with it so avoid it. She said if was still like that to mention it to my surgeon in January and they’d probably give me a bone scan to rule out bone mets! I’m sure she doesn’t mean to scare me me but it doesn’t reassure me either. I thought the xray I had would show anything up - anyway not going to worry about that now.
Ami, Janes, Janice, Emmy hope you are all feeling better.
Hugs all round
Stella xx
Sorry - as Jane said, I did edit but had no idea it would be out of sequence! I should have left it, as it was not important. I’m feeling much better today…I can’t tell how much you’ve helped with your words. Basher Doz, Deadly Emmy, not to leave anyone else out but can’t think of any other funny names, ha, ha, aren‘t you lucky?. Just like you, Doz, I’m jaded. Oh, and I’ve been stirring with those spoons all day! Perhaps that’s why? Thank you all for fluttering over me, or should I say flapping and kick boxing madly, ha, ha. Jane, I’m laughing at the 0.6 & 0.4 of a person! And yes the “Don’t worry” motto sounds good to me! Flutterhugs!! Like that! Or is it Flutterglugs?About birds. We have a few huge black crows and they are so funny. When we put bits of food out they stick out their heads and crow loudly with the message of “Pies are ‘ere!“ then walk down the grass like Charlie Chaplin, furtively look around to see if anyone’s watching, pick up a huge mouthful, more than you’d ever think they could carry and hide it under a little pile of leaves. They love to look at themselves in car wing mirrors too, especially upside down! Doz, we have geese sometimes, flying over in a V….the dog hates them and I think feels quite intimidated. Durhhh, took me a while to figure out the photo shoot, poor soul that I am! That name Survivors clinic, I don’t like it either! Only those who’ve had it know how we feel afterwards. Each time I’ve gone it’s been just like a routine mammo, nothing else, just a letter about 10 days later! It’s a long anxious wait. Yum, love the idea of the chocolate cake as reward though! Why didn’t I think of that?? Janice, I’m sending a big hug for you tomorrow, I hope the session helps, flutterby. Do you have to go each week for so many weeks? If you’ve used all your spoons you can borrow Doz’s cake trowel!! Stella, alarm bells start to ring when there’s anything mentioned out of the ordinary but at least they’re ruling out things and it’ll put your mind at rest. It’s horrid, isn’t it? Lovely to see you posting Angi, no need to feel alone with these motherly flappers! Sending a big hug xxWent for the Cornish Pasty’s MOT today, he’ll live to tell another tale. One of his meds is Tramadol but the vet asked me to give him plain old Paracetamol for humans, 1 x 3 times a day. They’ve been doing trials and the improvement in pets has been remarkable!
Love to all, Ami xx
Just a quickie lovely ladies I had intended an early night but one thing leads to another… And now I,ve blown it! Still feeling a bit cross but I,ll get over it x
Stella, I think if there had been anything that really concerned your Dr they would have sent you themselves rather than wait till January… Bless you, but it is all rubbish we don’t need is,nt it… Have you had it checked for lympho? It could be excess fluid that’s making it ache so much… If its really bothering you try to get to see them earlier honey xxx
Ami I,m so happy to see your lovely posts again, you do make me giggle hon, thats brilliant news about Cornish pasty god love him… we had those for tea tonight eeeek! I hope your feeling a bit better…floundering Flutterbys what a couple of rubbish weeks we,ve all had in our own ways, I think Jane was right when she said its the length of time it’s taking us all to feel some kind of normal that makes us all so low/vulnerable and weepy but as we,ve all said were not alone, it’s no consolation but when you hear other flutterby tales at least we know we’re not going loopy and we are I guess reaching some kind of different normal… Roll on Xmas 
flutter gently xxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxx
p.s yes I did use a trowel ha ha!! Happy endorphins or what Delish xxx
Morning all…just been reading the posts…talking of 0.4’s etc, I’m a 0.6 person and it’s great!!
Lots of birds here too…we saw Waxwing on Sunday plus Red Kites and Bullfinch. My son Edd on his travels saw a Harris Hawk in the wild but obviously it had either escaped from somewhere or was left there by its owner as it still had a bell and lead on poor thing as this would make hunting difficult. Anyway Edd’s contacted someone about it so we’ve left it in their hands.
Ami, I’m going to have to think of a nickname for my cat, she’s old and rickety and wobbles when she walks…perhaps I’ll call her Weeble, but the trouble is she does fall down!!
Anyway…that old devil called work beckons…child protection training to go to this morning
Jane xx 
Hi everyone just to let you know what happened yesterday.It was a call to screen me re what type of help I needed.I am being referred for counselling but she didn’t know how soon it will be.I have decide that if it is going to be weeks I aint going to bother I’ll just get on with things myself.I must admit I did feel a bit better after our chat so hope I can get some next in week or so.Weather here is awful and it was forcast to be fine so hubby and I have decide to go to the cinema this afternoon to see Gambit.Its Orange wednesday so only pay for one and I am the get one free ha ha.
Hope everyone has a good day keep those wings dry love Janice xxxxx
<script type=“text/javascript”>// <![CDATA[<br>
var vglnk = { api_url: ‘//api.viglink.com/api’, key: ‘a187ca0f52aa99eb8b5c172d5d93c05b’ };<br>
// ]]></script><script type=“text/javascript” src=“//cdn.viglink.com/api/vglnk.js”></script>