Diagnosed on the 18th but dont find out anything else until tomorrow, yes it,s cancer and yes it,s a lump but having read lots on this site i realise i know nothing. It has been the most horrible time as i am sure you all know and my family and friends have been great, but i can’t explain why yesterday and today the feeling of overwhelming fear has gone, i don,t understand it, it,s as if it all happened to someone else, is this my body preparing for tomorrow or some natural preservation technique kicking in?
Anne x
Dear Anne
I went into a “survival mode”. I had no fear to speak of, only the sheer determination to get treatment underway and get my life back to normal. I’m sure this is what is happening to you but perhaps be aware that you will most probably be up and down emotionally once everything gets started.
Cecelia. x
Hi Anna
I think the more you get involved in it the more the fear passes I always look at it this way you can sit worrying about every little detail and put it under a microscope and worry yourself to death about spread and dying etc, but then you could also have a heart attack or be run over by a bus tomorrow…so its best to just live life for the day and the fear goes away…
lucy
XXX
Thank you so much for your replys. I am sure tomorrow will be another rollercoaster ride. I think the plan should be to deal with each day as it comes.
Anne x
Hi anne,
just wanted to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Take care and please let us know how you get on,
Kelly
-x-
Hi Anne,
you are in my thoughts and prayers for tomorrow.
I have an invasive cancer and awaiting scan results, I see my Consultant on Thursday.
My treatment will depend on how far the bc has spread.
The initial wait for biopsy results was very traumatic, but strangely I am now in a calmer state.
Let’s hope that the calmness remains, as you say could be a natural survival mode.
Keeping my daily routine as normal as I can, has helped me.
I am determined the Cancer won’t win.
sending love and healing to all
Rosamund x
.
Hi Anne
I was diagnosed on 9 July and I haven’t been scared at all and haven’t cried once. If someone had asked me how I would have felt in the circumstances I never would have thought I would cope so well. However, I do think that it may have something to do with the fact that I don’t really feel it is happening to me, in some ways. I am talking about it openly to people but it is almost like a dream. I have never been in hospital before and thought I would be dreading it. My op to remove the lump and sample lyph nodes is scheduled for 6 August and no doubt, I will start to get a bit scared nearer the time. I have carried on with my life as normal, both at work and in my social life and I think this has helped a lot.
I think perhaps after the operation and when I see the scars etc it may sink in and that is when I will probably get upset.
It is a strange situation, as when you have to wait for the operation you have to try and put it to the back of your mind, which isn’t easy. Also, you don’t feel ill and it is hard to imagine what is going on inside.I notice every little pain now and wonder whether it means anything. No doubt I had them before but didn’t notice!
I have certainly found some inner strength from somewhere. I don’t know where it came from, but who cares as long as it gets us through.
Lots of love.
Julie N
Hi Anne,
Its my moment of truth at 9.30 tomorrow morning. I know I have lymph node involvement and during the 3 weeks wait for my CT scan I have felt swellings in both armpits so I must admit I am now petrified.
If any of you have read any of my other postings you will know I started 10 months ago with a pain in my shoulders and neuralgic pain down my right arm. So heaven knows if there will be involvement there.
I have been wrapped in cotton wool for the last 3 weeks but as for the next 12 hours…
Hi Ruftikins,
I was dx with a 2cm non palpable invasive tumour at a normal 3 yrly mammo at a travelling unit. No questions were asked, Wish they had, because I would have told them that I got periodic stabbing pains from my armpit and shooting down to my hands. I just thought it was arthritis, as I was 58 yrs. There was no noticeable swelling in my right armpit. I was then recalled to a breast care centre, which took an unholy 2 months as they lost my films and got me mixed up with another patient of the same name. When I had a WLE and sample node removal (this was 4 yrs ago, before sentinel node removal was used at my hospital), they found 3 of the 8 nodes removed were cancerous. I felt this explained the shooting pains, and indeed, I haven’t had them since. I had to go back for total axillary removal, which I am glad I did, as another node was positive. I had chemo and rads, not a walk in the park, but it soon becomes a blur. I too felt as if it was happening to someone else, and until I had the WLE I was convinced they had got the dx wrong, as no lump could be felt, although it was glaringly obvious when they showed me the original mammo, and the ultrasound. I am just so grateful for the 3 yrly screening programme, as I doubt it would have been found otherwise before it became more serious. Wish it had been yearly, and then perhaps the cancer would not have spread to my lymph nodes. Doing great now.
Hope all goes well with you.
Liz.
Thanks Liz,
Was absolutely shaking and cold by the time I arrived at the centre. Got called on time then spent 10 minutes in a scabby, minuscule examination room waiting for the doctor to turn up…
Have got lesions on my spine so priority is radiation therapy . Waiting for phone call from Christies as I type.
The CT scan showed nothing else so the doctor is satisfied that this explains all the arm and shoulder pain I have had. I am not convinced.
Liz have you had pleurisy at all? I have suffered all year with it as well. I would love to know if there is a connection. I am 57 yrs so I understand how you apply other conditions like arthritis to what you feel.
Glad you are feeling well now.
How are you Anne? I am thinking of you right now and hoping your results are ok.
Jean
well some good news they dont think it has spread, that was the biggy, i know that it is a high grade cancer about 2cm and really thats still about it. I am having the lump removed on 9/8 and then Chemo, but they didn’t discuss that yet apparently nearer the time, you can’t take in everything at once.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts, although i wish you were all well it is comforting to know you are not alone, you are all in my prayers.
Anne x