Hi. Just got back from the breast clinic having been referred following a routine mammogram. They found 2 “areas of concern”, biopsies done, 2 weeks to wait for the results. I haven’t told my husband or my two grown-up children, as I don’t want to have to reassure them as well as deal with my own fears. It’s a really bad time to deal with this as I lost a close friend to breast cancer 3 months ago so that will panic them. Anyone have any opinion on this? Am I being unfair in not sharing this, or sensible in waiting till i know exactly what I’m dealing with?
Hi Rosemaryanne and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support you will soon find here please do feel free to call our helpliners for some practical and emotional support during this worrying time for you, lines are open during the week 9-5 and Sat 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi, I think this is a really personal one that only your gut feeling will know best. It depends as well on whether you can do this alone for the two weeks or whether you’ll need the support. Another thing to consider is if you think you are hiding it well, but they know something isn’t right and there is communication breakdowns and misunderstandings. Being selfish, all you need to think about is you (my husband gave me lots of rows when I kept saying sorry, worrying about him or the boys etc). How would your husband be afterwards (good or bad news), would he be upset for you that you dealt with it on your own without telling him or would he agree with your reasons. Lots to think about, but whatever is best for you. Me, I told my husband (needed the support) and my boys (against my will but my Gp receptionist and the hospital clinic admin women are both my neighbours and mothers of the boys best friends so I wasn’t taking chances they’d hear second hand - despite workplace confidentiality etc etc). I chose not to tell parents or friends to save them the worry, just as you suggested but I couldn’t have done it without my husband and he’s said to me he wouldn’t have wanted me to do it alone. Good luck with whatever you decided and for a positive outcome. Lorrainne. X
Hi Rosemaryanne, I’m glad your husband took things well and hope he’ll be a good support to you should you need it. I wish I didn’t have to tell my two boys (had no choice due to the circs below) so they didn’t have the month of worry as well. I still had the support of my husband though when I needed it. Glad you’ve taken charge and made the right decision for you. X