Hi everyone
I had a mx in April followed by six courses of FECT, and now I’m free to pick up my life again - except I don’t know where to start. I should be happy, but all I do is cry and my concentration is non-existant. I can cope with numb hands & feet, no hair anywhere & sore eyes - but I don’t know how to cope with how I feel mentally? I’ve always been the ‘just get on with it’ kind of person, but right now I can’t seem to ‘do’ anything
any words of wisdom? I could really use them about now.
Nat you’re at a tough stage…you just need to work through it by being patient with yourself.
I had mx/node clearance following 12 x FEC T. Also radiotherapy. Like you I’m a get up and get on with it person, but I found the immediate post treatment stage very tough mentally. Somehow it was harder than the bald as an egg, red eyed, pasty faced stage ! I had a real wobble, but I’d like to reassure you it will pass. It’s common to feel low and upset at this time; you’re leaving the “safety net” of intensive treatment after all.
I should add I finished chemo late 2009, had mx Jan 2010 (with expander implant), rads Feb/March, and replacement of expander implant with silicone in June this year. Just after rads I hit my low point, which I have to say lasted a few weeks. However I do feel now a lot better, and I wish you a speedy journey to a similar mental place.
Best wishes, thinking of you.
Hi Nat,
You are suffering from the after effects of chemo. Just set yourself small goals and rest between jobs. I have no idea how long it will take for you to start feeling better as we are all different, but, your time will come. You need regular treats to cheer you up. They only have to be small ones, such as a massage or a trip to the cinema. You could even start your Christmas shopping, a little at a time. Anything to give you something to aim for.
I absolutely hated being bald and all the other side effects I had but they do eventually disappear and I wonder if these are affecting you more than you realize.
Hope you feel the replies on here are helpful.
E
Hi Nat - You’re describing how i felt a couple of months back, only in the last couple of weeks do i notice that i’m not thinking about BC every moment and that i’m able to concentrate on some things (for a wee bit anyway) I am however still very emotional - i’d say i was quite emotional before BC but definitiely more so now - certainly with a lot less contol over when i’m going to blub!
As far as the timeline goes i was DX in January, MX then - chemo March-May and went back to work end of July. Everyone says its one of the most challenging bits to deal with, ie after treatment finishes - I’m not through it yet but i think its getting a wee bit better. Not sure how much help i’ve been - but you’re certainly not alone.
Lynn
Hi Nat,
You seem to be about the same time scale as me (see my profile) except that I’ve already got the t-shirt (2003). In my experience the end of treatment is a difficult time. I had a bottle of champagne waiting to celebrate the end of my treatment last time, but I never drank it. You will never be the same as before bc and you have to come to terms with that which is not easy. All those around you who have not been there, will think you should be over the moon and thankful and that you should start to get on with your life. My onc said it takes 2 months to physically get over the chemo and a year to get over the experience. I don’t know, but maybe he has been there because my onc in 2003 did not seem to understand how I felt at all. Last time 2 months after my last chemo, I broke down over a silly little thing and realised I needed help and luckily found it. You may need help too. But having little goals is a good idea, as emmbee says. And as Lynn says you are not alone.
Hugs to you and good luck
Maria
Hi Nat, my last Chemo was 8th July, it is a challenging time, I wish people would stop saying things like “you must be glad it’s all behind you now” or “you can forget all about it now” and “brilliant you have the all clear now!”. I think of this time as rehabilitation, trying to recover. I find not looking like my old self very difficult, like that bit of me will not be back. But I am confident that over time I will adapt and move forward with breast cancer not being the last thought at night or first thing in the morning. Lynn and Maria have put it very well. Big hug. X Tina
Hi Nat,
I really do recognise how you’re feeling because I was there and still feel I’ve got a long way to go yet…
I finished active treatment about June after being diagnosed back in July 2009. Three ops and a mx and a variety of disappointing problems later I was pretending to be stronger than I was because all the people around me were expecting me to be ‘over BC’!
It was a very lonely time and I eventually swallowed my pride and shared all on this forum under ‘can I please share as no one else is noticing…’
The response from the wonderful women here was quite overwhelming. I continued sharing and some offered tips but mostly people recognised what I was experiencing and ‘kept me company’.
It has been a lifeline.
I hope you too can share here and become able to receive the support of others. It doesn’t change the fact that coming through BC is slow and full of pitfalls.
The sunshine helped me at times and learning to be kinder to myself was a difficult lesson to absorb! Now it is Autumn and I have returned to work (having shed a few clients!) I find the post-cancer fatigue really difficult to manage and I feel life is slipping out of control all too often…
But, I return to share and people do genuinely listen.
We are here for you too.
Look around the posts and you’ll see so many women feeling like you do, obviously there are some Superwomen but there always are aren’t they?
I hope you can find some solace and not be too hard on yourself.
Take very small steps and reward yourself often.
Do take the very best of care now,
Welsh girl
thanks everyone for taking the trouble to reply tonight - you’ve all been through so much & still have time to comfort others, I envy your strength. I think you’re right & I’m mourning the ‘old me’, I quite liked her - where did she go? not sure who i am now or what i should be doing, but knowing you are all there makes things a little easier.
wishing you all a happy weekend xx
Hi Nat and everyone else,
I too felt exactly the same. Diagnosed last November 2009. I finished Chemo in March, had a MX in April and finished Rads in July. I am only just beginning to have some concentration, cope with driving and generally feel a bit more “normal”. I’m not back at work yet and don’t feel ready but will probably return in the New Year. My consultant told me it would take a year to get through it.
There was an article that was posted on this site by Dr.Peter Harvey called “Life after Treatment” If any of you manage to find it it is well worth reading and explains exactly how you go through all the stages of recovery and rehabilitation. it was really good!
Good luck to you all, you do begin to feel better bit by bit even though I don’t think you ever feel like the same person.
xxxx
The dr peter Harvey article is excellent and I have read it, or parts of it, a few times. It is on the cancer counselling trust website and really is well worth a read. As tina said, he says think of this period as convalescence to get your body and your mind back to strength.
Vickie
Nat - This is the link to the Peter Harvey article:-
cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResHarvey?OpenView&ExpandAll&Count=500
It really does help.
Ann x
Thanks Ann for posting the link, I couldn’t remember how I had got to the article. Hope it’s of some help Nat.
xx
hi again
feeling more positive today - it really helps to know that what I’m feeling is normal. I’ve found that cooking helps to lift my mood & have cooked an entire indian banquet today (bit silly when i live on my own!) I’ve also signed up to see the counsellor at the hospital. Has anyone any experience of using this service? I’ve never been to any kind of therapy before & feel a bit of a failure having to use it now - but I’m hoping it will help sort some things out for me so I can move on with my life.
Mind you she can’t see me for two weeks, so a lot of cooking will be done until then - I definately need a bigger freezer!
Hi Nat,
You mustn’t feel bad about counselling, I’ve only heard good news from girls who have been and found it really helpful for all kinds of issues. These people are so specialised and used to dealing with it every day and it’s good to talk. I went to a fab Cancer Care place called Beechwood not far from where I live in South Manchester. Good luck with it all. xx
Hi nat
I know how you feel, I finished rads on Friday and feel quite strange that now my treatment is all over. I had WLE and 6 FEC then 20 Rads. I got through the chemo and the rads very well with not to much side effects, I am also on Femara and so far apart from dry mouth and numbness in my hands I am doing fine.
I think it is the fact that I have been attending hospital for 9 months and now I am on my own. I am a very positive person and have had great support from family friends and work collugues and this has made the whole experience easier to deal with. I know people are being kind and saying it is all over but you and I know that the thought is always on our minds.
I am off on a cruise in a weeks time and i am looking forward to that, then hopefully after that back to work and try to get some normality back in my life. if you need to talk you can always PM me.
Keep in touch.
Love Anne xx
Congratulations on finishing all your treatments Annie.
Love
Mareex