Why did she leave

Hello i’m new to this forum,please forgive my grammer/spelling mistake etc.

I was wondering if anyone could help enlighten me,my partner of 7 year was

diagnosted with breast cancer and had a mastectomy last year and all the rest

of the treatment that came with it,at the end of november 2014 she decided that

she wanted to leave and live on her own,

As you can imagine this hit me like a bolt from the blue and no matter what i said

to her there was no changing her mind,so she left,

I know breast cancer is a life changing awful thing to have to deal with and it would have

really made her depressed etc,I was really there for her all the way,i love and miss her so

much,but she hardly communicates with me very much,and now ive just found out that

she’s had her other breast removed and had a full reconstruction operation.

Is there any hope that she may come back to me,she don’t sound like she misses me

when she text me,she will not talk on the phone,i tell her that she’s in my thoughts and

i miss her,but nothing seems like she cares anymore,I hope i don’t come across as selfish

and its all about me,but i feel we could have seen it through together with help from organisation

like your’s etc but she wouldn’t entertain that either,thankyou for reading this, just wish i could express

myself better.




Hi John


It is very hard to give advice without knowing either of you. From a personal perspective being diagnosed with cancer has affected me in ways I would never have thought possible.


The treatments can destroy your confidence and the ongoing side effects of any hormonal treatments for many years after just add to this. Add to all this the realisation that you have looked your own mortality in the eye, it changes everything. Some of these changes can be positive, some negative, but it takes many months or sometimes years to reasses your life and future needs.


Maybe she needs this time to reasses, to decide where she wants her life to go now that she has faced this awful illness. Maybe she will come out the other side, knowing you are still there for her, and come back to you, ready to start your lives together again. But maybe her needs and wishes have changed too much for her to consider the relationship viable any more.


All you can do is give her some time to come to terms with how her life has changed, make sure she knows that you are there if she needs you and hope.


All the best of luck to you.