Hi,
I thought this would never happen but my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer on tuesday. The lump is about 2cm and we’re going back for the biopsy results in 2 weeks. I’ve since read up and many people have gone through it and lived to tell the tale, but it’s difficult to hold back the tears at the moment. I know I need to be strong for her but the mearest thought of not having her in my life makes me well up.
Barry
Oh dear Barry, sorry to hear about your wife
two weeks is a long time to wait, perhaps you could ask for more information from the breast cancer nurse, also it helps to read up on things here and on macmillann site. You can also call the folk here for help
she’s probably in shock but try and talk about everything it does help and she can get support from others here, it’s a great deal easier to speak to people who are in the same position
good luck
sheena
Bless you Barry, please try not to think like that, there are plenty of us here through the other side and planning on being around for a long time yet! I was diagnosed in March and and was lucky enough to have an early cancer only needing a small op and 3 weeks of radiotherapy, my husband totally held me together although he was terrified of what may happen but as you get results and learn more you will realise it’s not an instant death sentence and there is so much treatment available now, 2 weeks is a ridiculous amount of time to wait for biopsy results and how are they so certain it is cancer before they have done the biopsy tests ? I had my results back in a week and then I knew what we were dealing with and things started to get easier, you will get her through this x
Jobey68, Mr Ojo said the lump was breast cancer but needed the biopsy results to be 100%. I guess the physical and mammogram and ultrasound helped him with the diagnosis 
Sorry to hear about your wife but please remember 80% come back negative… lets hope that’s the case but if it’s not it isn’t the death sentance it once was so try to stay positive. easier said than done I know but there are so many woman who have been through this (and men) who live to tell the tale.
sending love x
Thank you familytree and missmore. The doctor seemed fairly positive from the mammogram and ultrasound
I’m not sure if I’d swear at the doctor for putting us through the torture by diagnosing incorrectly or just scream out hallelujah! Your words are comforting though Jo and if surgery is needed we’ll get rid of the bugger!
Barry
Barry,my husband was in a worse state than me when I was diagnosed ,it is happening to both of you ,very ,very scary time.BUT it does get better once you know what happens next and when.The vast majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer will still be here in 10 years time ,don’t panic take a deep breath, there is a very good chance you will both get through this…
.
Hi Bazza and welcome to the BCC forums
i am am sure the support you have found here has been a great help, for further practical support you may find the BCC publication ‘In it together’ helpful, here’s the link:
Please also feel free to post in the family and partners section where there are lots of threads similar to yours
forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Family-partners-and-friends/bd-p/4451
Take care
Lucy BCC
My appetite isn’t good, I still feel sick. Can’t wait for Tuesday week to arrive and we can to get it out of her.
I know when we can do a plan of action I’ll be more positive. I’ll even tell my wife I’ll book us a holiday as soon as she’s given the all clear.
Good plan Barry! We flew off to Menorca 3 weeks after radiotheraphy finished, just the tonic! Xx
Hi Barry, just noticed your posts and wanted to share how my husband dealt with my diagnosis. Of course we were both in shock as my breast cancer was found during a routine mammogram. I tried to stay strong and play it down for the sake of my family. It was frightening to see my family so (naturally) scared for me. It’s a fine line between acknowledging my fear but remaining positive and hopeful.
My husband is diabetic and within days of my diagnosis his blood pressure shot up affecting the nerves around his eye resulting in a turn which prevented him from driving so I had to do all the running around preparing for hospital! On the morning of my operation, he was being treated in the eye clinic in the same hospital – honestly, you couldn’t write it! Thankfully, a prism sorted his sight so he could drive. My poor husband was and looked distraught, he couldn’t think straight, I used to send him out to walk the dog to calm him down. I actually told him that I needed him to be strong for me and that seemed to pull him together. I hope I don’t sound harsh but I was worried about his health and I couldn’t have our 3 sons worried about us both, that wasn’t fair on them.
As others have said, once you know what you are dealing with, you’ll have a plan and get answers to all your questions (write them down so you don’t forget). To be honest, I’ve lost loved ones to cancer (not breast) and think that if this is my turn, it’s the most treatable one which has had so many advances in recent years and is constantly improving. It sounds as though your wife’s cancer has been caught early so she is very likely to have a good recovery. I don’t believe that being positive changes the outcome, that’s the science / medical bit but I do believe that it’s what gets us through this - and a sense of humour! You’re both still in shock but that will change once you get results and treatment starts.
Sending you both my best wishes and positive vibes. Take care x
Thank you hopefulholly, yours and everyone else’s words really do and are helping me through this. The tears are difficult to control no matter how positive I’m feeling but I think that’s natural now rather than holding it in.
I had to take a long walk rather than go to the gym at lunch today. Plus at this rate I think I could be a breast cancer specialist with the amount of reading I’ve done!
Lol we all become specialists on the subject…knowledge is power. Just be selective what you read…some utter rubbish out there X
It might be too late this time but help reduce the chances of it coming back.I’ve even got her eating spinach!
Yes ,and also a few nice treats food wise as well as the healthy stuff( for both of you ).You both need cheering up.Like you say spinach ain’t gonna make a lot of difference right now .They have some pretty effective treatments coming her way to get rid of the bugger and to stop it coming back.
One moment I’m feeling positive and the next sick to my stomach. Is that normal?
Yes Barry it is, but the good/calm days get more frequent and the panic days less as time goes on and it gets better once you get treatment under way and you both feel you are doing something to get rid of the cancer.Has your wife been on the forum too or is it not her thing?