Wife diagnosed yesterday

evening ladies.


my wife had a suspected cyst two weeks ago, the local gp said it felt like a cyst bur wanted her to go to the breast unit to be sure. Two weeks later we met our doctor who had a feel but suspected it was a cyst, we were relieved and happy,  he said he wanted to to a mammogram , ultrasound, to be sure.


they would not let me in with her and an hour later she came out in tears, they had done both tests and then a biopsy but the x rayer said he was concerned, the doctor also confirmed he suspected cancer, we felt we had been hit by a lorry.


we went back last Friday for the results and he comfirmed invasive ductal carcinoma, with no signs of infection of the lymp, she is booked in on the 7th to have the lump removed  and to have a test lymph removed.


we have got over the initial shock and now we have to deal with it, we have two young girls aged 5 and 8. We have explained to,them the basics.


i have asked her to join this group and I think she will soon., I do have one question,is this cancer likely to be a successful critical illness claim with Legal and general, it is a ten year old policy.


it will take a lot of pressure of us if accepted, thanks and look out for Michelle when she joins, I will be on with more questions later ?

Hi, I’m sorry your wife has been diagnosed and I do hope she feels up to joining us here too as you will both get plenty of support, My understanding is that you can claim against critical illness cover with a cancer diagnosis regardless of its type or severity, there have been a few ladies here that have had theirs pay out so hopefully someone will come along to confirm this for you, anything you would like to ask then please feel free, nothing is out of bounds here! X

Sorry to hear of your wife’s diagnosis.


Your question about Critical Illness claim has got me thinking.


I have a life insurance policy as part of an endowment policy, do I have to inform them that I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer?


Any info or advice would be much appreciated.



Hi boogi11, I have a couple of policies which I pay into through work, which paid out for my diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma. I think you find that they don’t always pay out if they’re non invasive. One of the policies was a life insurance one and the other a personal accident one. Unfortunately I don’t have any linked to my mortgage.

Hi Boogi11, I am so sorry to hear that your partner has been diagnosed. Hat off to you - for coming onto the forum - we are here to support you and Michelle, when she joins, all the way. I cannot comment on critical illness insurance, however MacMillan have a lot of booklets and advice on financial support through cancer treatment. You may wish to have a look at their website and browse for the details. be.macmillan.org.uk/be/s-590-organising-the-practical-work-and-financial-side.aspx There is a lot of information for you both to take in over the next few weeks. It will be like a roller coaster ride, but it will eventually slow down. These are links to publications on this site, which may be of help and can be downloaded. breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/breast-cancer-you-diagnosis-treatment-future-bcc44 breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/in-it-together-partners-people-breast-cancer-bcc120e-bcc44 breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/invasive-ductal-breast-cancer-bcc210 breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/mummys-lump-bcc164 breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/someone-me We are here to support you and Michelle all the way, as I said. There is also a PM facility, so if Michelle would rather not talk on a forum, she can easily pm with someone, whom she feels an affinity with from reading their posts. If you/she click onto the relevant avatars you can find out more about the ‘poster’ My thoughts go out to you and your family, it is so rough on you all. xx

Ok so the results are in grade 3 invasive ductal caricinoma  measuring 15mm , er positive 8 pr positive 8 and her2 negative, treatable with surgery, removal of lump, and radio , 10% chance of further surgery required, ceamo a distinct possibility , referral to clinical genetics in brew of age.


can anybody translate, all seems positive to me apart from being grade 3

I had 3 lymph nodes removed on Wednesday same time as my lumpectomy. Asked my Surgeon “Why 3?” after my surgery and she said they removed the ones that were “blue” from the dye?


Get my results on Thursday.



hi boogi, thank goodness your wife & yourself acted so promptly to get the diagnosis & I would suggest that your feelings about the results & treatment plan are on key.
very best wishes to you both

Hiya, Your comments are great - lets not confuse the man though, lol - with our individual experiences - we can share them happily on our other threads - and hopefully his wife will join them to gain all of the valuable support, which is out there for her. I think - here is a man, who wants to roughly understand the implications of his wife’s diagnosis and what consequences it may on time, finances and support of the family and family home - and how to support his wife, until she finds the strength of joining us on this amazingly helpful forum. Hope you are not offended by this comment - men think and work so differently to ourselves… xxx

Wow… Thanks ladies,  you seem to have the measure of me already. I’m the logical one, I want facts and to know where I stand although I have already figured out Google us best avoided as a research tool.  Peterborough city hospital have been outstanding so far, very impressed with them, as am I with this forum. For all the medical advise in the world, speaking to people who have been through this is very helpfull.


i am trying t find things to occupy my wife, so the do I don’t I for a tattoo for my wife has now been booked pending the surgeons authority,  obligatory pink ribbon tattoo,  


kids have been told, I have been honest with them, my eldest who is 9 is very intelligent, I promised her. I Would neve lie to her so I have answered all of her questions.  Insurance polices are sorted, car insurance have been notified,   Holiday cancelled boooooooo…(Disney land as a treat instead when we get through this) 


ofe has has started planning for extension, I know on occasion sh is probably going t be too ill t get out of bed but at least she will have something to focus on when she is well.


lack of fertility is not an issue(easy for me to say I know, may effect her more) as we have to monsters already


I can’t help worrying about the worst case scenario and I feel bad for thinking it,  how can I hold a job down with two young girls aged 5 and 9.  I know it won’t come to this but I feel bad for thinking the worst.


thanks to all of you for your detailed and caring replies.  I’ll do my bit,  biking lands end to John o groats this year, so plenty of sponsorship money heading toward pink ribbon.




Boogi so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis. I know my husband thought about the worst case/potentially being a lonely old man because he told me! Very important you keep talking to each other.  It was funny, but I didn’t feel like that & once surgery had got rid of the mutant boob alien, I found myself a lot calmer & went into ’ just got to get on with it’ mode.  One thing that helped me was to eat more healthily, drink green smoothies & green tea, because I felt I was doing my bit to help stop it coming back, as well as what the medical lot were doing with the chemo, radiotherapy, tamoxifen & Herceptin.  We don’t all go mad & get fat on tamoxifen, so don’t start worrying about all that?. Take each stage at a time.  With every part of treatment we are all different & different stuff happens to each of us.  This was particularly striking on chemo, as Sue says.  My husband tried to be superman & I could not fault the amount of effort he put into supporting me, but I just wanted him to take a break from cancer & go & play golf or tennis. It’s hard to be the carer, working as well, watching your wife suffer, when you’re used to being the bloke that fixes stuff for her.  I would say the whole experience was mentally harder on him than me.  We’re out the other side now & I’m feeling happy, fit & healthy … I had the works treatment wise & I’m back to playing tennis for 2 hours & doing 18 holes of golf & I’m not even at my 12 month anniversary yet.  So you might feel life will never be the same again, but you will be surprised.  It will.  You will both find the strength from somewhere to get through it & come out the other side. I think we’re closer now than we ever were as a couple.  I wish you both all the best.  You can do it. x

Hi Boogi11 I am also at Peterborough and cannot stress enough the importance of how individual we all are plus how differently health trusts work. I’ve just tried to send you a pm written you a long message and it wouldn’t send as you haven’t got pm at the minute doh. Blame my chemo brain. I will keep trying to pm you. My hubby is like you the logical one!

Hi Boogi11


your wife finally made the move to join us, thus forum has been a godsend to me since my diagnosis 2 years ago. You can post any question no matter how silly we think it us and someone will have already been through the same scenario. hope all goes well for the op.