I had a mastecomy June 2013 and had chemo and Rad’s and all was well and cancer gone.I take Letrozole.
However I get these scary thoughts of whether the cancer will come back. If I here of anyone dying from cancer I get scared that one day that will be me. I am mostly positive and have got through this well but it just these thoughts now and then. Does anyone else get these?
Hi melena
I am sure many users here will identify with your post
You may find our ‘Moving forward breast cancer’ support and information helpful, you can read about this here:
breastcancercare.org.uk/moving-forward
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Melena, I was diagnosed in Jan 2013 had a lumpectomy, rads and am now on Anastrozole. I too have these scary thoughts every now and then, even though my yearly mammogram and check up were NED. I think it’s entirely normal to have these wobbles, after all we’ve had a brush with our own mortality, lots of ladies on this forum feel exactly the same as you and I. Incidentally a lot of us found we get more jittery as our mammograms are due. Best wishes, take care Pat x
Hi Melena,
I’m sure that every woman who has had breast cancer will recognise what you are feeling. How could you not be scared after what you’ve been through. Our world is changed totally by our diagnosis, so negative thoughts and feelings are inevitable. And there is nothing wrong with feeling negative. I keep recommending a book that totally helped me to feel okay about what I was feeling. It helped me to see that I’m not mad to feel like I do, it’s the people who expected me to ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’ who are mad. I still keep it close so I can read a bit when i’m feeling low. Don’t know if you’re into reading, but if you are you might want to take a look on Amazon. It’s called Emotional support through breast cancer and it’s available as a book or a kindle. It’s by a psychologist who’s had bc herself, so she knows what it’s really like. Her name is Cordelia Galgut.
Anyway, it might be worth a look. Meanwhile, don’t beat yourself up for not feeling positive all the time.
Love, Kazey x
I too went through the same scary thoughts, its so hard to be p[ositive 24/7 and tiring, be honest with yourself, cry if you want to admit that your’e not feeling positive.
I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer with lymph nodes affected 10years ago, I thought I was given a death sentance. Its not true anymore, this is not a death sentance. I still had the anxiety and the fear of return until I was discharged last year.Thats when my life stopped being on hold, and I could begin living again.
As long as you keep going for your check ups and everything is normal, focus on that, it brings you strength.
Don’t forget to carry on talking about your anxiety, your nearest and dearest will understand, and NO they will not mind listening to you no matter how many times you ask them to listen, just remember they are probably waiting for you to make the move, as they don’t want to push you.
Dibbles4 has put it in a nutshell. I am currently two years with NED, and the fear of it returning is always there, but blends more into the background the further you get away from the end of treatment.
In the early months, the fear is very much ‘in your face’- every little ache or pain causes a major panic that it could be back- whereas before diagnosis, you would have put it down to what it very likely is- a pulled muscle, a ‘stitch’, indigestion or a cough caused by an allergy or virus. It is only natural to asume the worst after having been through treatment for what can be a life-threatening condition.
Thankfully, breast cancer nowadays has one of the highest cure rates, and I remain forever grateful to those ‘guinea pig’ ladies from the early days of treatment decades ago, who underwent treatment which has since been perfected, and from which patients nowadays can reap the benefit.
The worst time, as others have said, is the run-up to the annual mammogram, and really nothing can be said or done to allay that very natural fear- so for the rest of the year, I try my best to keep upbeat, to enjoy each day, and to save up all my fear for the once a year anxiety ordeal- then hopefully get another NED, so continue enjoying another year until it comes around again!!
Hi Melena,
Just wondering how you are doing. I hope the posts you have had have reassured you that you are not the only woman who gets scared like this. Hopefully, it helps to know that you are not the only one going through this nightmare.
Let us know how you are,
Kazey x
Hi Melena and Everyone, My 2 year diagnosis anniversary is coming up and although I try hard to be positive some days I also feel scared, I assume its only natural considering what we have all been through. Its also great to have this forum because we all have an understanding of these feelings. Big hugs to you all x
I do finished all my treatment on the 14 July 2014 had similar to you masectomy chemo rads and now on tamofen no checks until end of year. But I’m still scared all the time of it coming back as it was grade 3 stage 2 with dcis .
Wow and I thought that I was the only one who had all those scary thoughts and fears! I am coming up to a 2 year diagnosis next month as well and every time it pops into my head I go off to another place in my head and start imagining all sorts.
I don’t mention it to anyone much, mainly on here because i know that each and ever one of you will get it. I still wonder if family and friends around me actually “get it” and the way i feel and what goes on in my head at times. Every little ache and pain, twinge and headache makes me feel sick with the thought of what could it be. When I watch the news (especially today and what a lovely woman like Lynda Bellingham is going through with her decision to withdraw treatment next month), I imagine the worst when I go for my 2nd anniversary check-up.
What puzzles me is that when i have had the surgeries, chemo, rads and now the hormones for 5 years for Breast cancer and your first mammo is NED, how are they able to tell whether or not there is anything going on in other parts of your body when they are just concentrating on the boobs??? As I had a full Axillary Clearance of my left lymph nodes in the armpit because of positive nodes, what if there is a stray little bugger floating around somewhere in my system?? what checks can be done to look at all the relevant areas where it could pop up next? I feel like i am driving myself round the bend womndering all these things. I am due to see an Oncology nurse (my Onco has moved me over to the Onco nurses now) in November, I wonder if she can give me any answers??? Help!
Cheers, Michele x
It goes through my head every day and i get very anxious ! We just have to put it at the back of our minds x
I was feeling positive after my WLE & SNB - letrozole and just started radiotherapy. …someone recently though said to me “how do they know one little cancer cell hasn’t moved and is sitting somewhere else in your body”. I fretted about that for a few days but realised I can’t do anything about it so why spoil my life with worry. I’m doing my best to stay positive; be healthy and I now stop & smell the roses. I don’t want to die but I also don’t want to live in fear either. A cancer diagnosis makes you face up to your mortality and I think we’ll always have these thoughts from time to time but I’m sure over time our lives will just grow around them xx
Hi Melena
Yes I feel that way too!
I had a mastectomy in Jan 2014 with radiotherapy and im on Tamoxifen everything went well and like you im pretty positive most of the time. All of a sudden this month Ive started having this dread that its going to come back again. Maybe because its October and it feels like everyone is talking about cancer, or because i was diagnosed a year ago today.
Ive got a book from amazon called Emotional support through breast cancer the alternative handbook, by Cordelia Galgut. It really helped me to understand that nearly everyone going through this is feeling pretty much the same and my feelings of insecurity are ok and natural.
Take carexxxx