Wish I felt brave!

Have just joined the site for the first time. Was diagnosed last week following routine mammogram and biopsy. Am finding it almost impossible to come to terms with as I have no symptoms - no lump - nothing. How can it be that last week I was fine and now this? I am having a lumpectomy next week followed by radiotherapy. From what I have read so far there are many of you worse off than me but how do I start to get my head around this? Any help would be greatly appreciated.


i’m so sorry you are here…it is such a shock to the head when you are faced with this bad thing …it is so hard to take in …

but you will …some how you do deal with it after the sad and the anger is out , you find the strenth to go on and fight this crappy thing that has thrown its self at you …

this site is so good and there are so many ladies in the same place as you …

this site has been so good for me …
i was dx in may and i felt as tho my life was at the end but now im possitve and i will fight it …it wont get the better of me …

so stay strong i know its hard but it will help

take care

sal x

I’m afraid no-one can actually make you change how you feel, but I felt better than I had for years when I was diagnosed, although I did find a painless lump so that did alert me to a possible problem. It took six months to get my diagnosis as all the tests I had failed to detect the fact the lump was cancerous so I only got it confirmed when the lump was taken out as a non urgent case after six months or so of having it there.

I had a segmental mastectomy and radiotherapy and they also sampled my lymph nodes in case there was any evidence of spread. I felt let down by the incompetence of the medical profession so I was angry for years, I still am and I was diagnosed nearly five years ago. I found the lump on 14 June 2003

By the way, it doesn’t matter how much worse off someone else may be, it is you that counts, I don’t care what anyone else thinks it is what I think that matters to me as it is me I have to live with


Hi myrtle

Welcome to the discussion forums. As well as the support and advice you receive from the many informed users of this site you may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. The pack is free of charge and if you would like a copy just follow the link below:

I hope you find this helpful.

Kind regards

BCC Facilitator

Thanks folks for your comments. I am off to bed now and hopefully will get some sleep. I find it is like being on a roller coaster at the moment. My emotions are all over the place.

i know that feeling especially today, i was diagnosed 3 weeks ago my younger sister found a lump and went to get checked out that same day and was then referred to grimsby bc unit she went today and was told it was just glands and she cried because she didnt have it and i do but she said she can now be there and strong for me … i cried with relief for her and also i guess a bit of self pity and a why me (the first time since being told) i also had a meeting with my bcn to discuss my forth coming surgery and i was ok with that too. i am really being positive even at the thought that if i have chemo and lose my hair i will deal with it…this site really helps its great.

Myrtle - I was exactly the same as you - diagnsed from a mammogram with no palpable lump. It is so weird because one minute you’re fine and the next you are having surgery and treatment which may go on for months and years. I think that even those ladies who have felt a lump must feel the same though - it is a shock and a massive worry to all of us. We may be a little luckier in that if there is no obvious lump it may be that it has ben caught early enough to have the best possible prognosis - but size is not always everything. Personally I found it very helpful to be able to understand the various stages of treatment and I have concentrated on understanding the management of my condition rather than worrying about negative aspects. (Of course, this is not always possible)

I have learnt such a lot reading the experiences of people on this site - it has been a fantastic support - and very humbling too - we usually manage to be pretty positive about everything - although bad news is desperately disappointing - and if that is the case there is always someone who will find the right words to say…

I think the main thing to understand is that we are all different - we all react in different ways at different times - although I think most people go through most of the ranges of emotion at one time or another. You are absolutley right - it is an emotional roller-coaster - and the best advice that I have had is to take one step at a time.

I am now two weeks post-op (WLE and SNB) and have been lucky to have had really good results. For me everything has gone really quickly and I have already seen an oncologist to discuss radiotherapy and hormone therapy - both of which will start in the next two to three weeks. I feel now as if I am coming out the other side - and I was only dx on 18 June.

If you need to ask any specific questions just shout - and tell us how you’re feeling too - much better than bottling things up. Take care, speak soon, Looby x

Heya Myrtle

Sounds like your coping admirably to me. It’s such a shock to the system, like no other I’ve ever had (and I’ve had a few). Roller coaster it most certainly is. I’m 6 months down the road and I don’t think I’m off the roller coaster yet but I am getting used to it and the shock is being replaced by normal life a little more everyday and I’m making the most of life now like I didn’t before. Stupid little things have become less important now to me now and that’s great. I hope you too can find some good while on the ride.

I found the stage you are currently at the hardest, it all happens so fast, no time to think, no time to digest it all just get on with it and it’s so hard. I did the surgery and found that no where near as bad as I thought it would be, despite being the kind of person who could barely look at a hospital and don’t mention needles (still can’t look at them). The recovery from surgery went well. Then got some good news as they reckon they got the lot but I’m on chemo just in case which is also not as bad as I thought. And next is radiotherapy which I know a few people who have had it and it’s OK too apparently so I know all that’s ahead ouf you must seem really scary right now but I’m sure most people would agree that it does get easier and you just hang in there for now and get through the surgery and results and share with us here.

Lots and lots of love


Hi Myrtle,

Sorry that you have had to come to this page.
I was diagnosed just the same as you in May. No lump. WLE and node biopsy. In the middle of radiotherapy now and not too bad so far but looking after myself.
Emotions are all over the place and it is very difficult to think straight at times, but somehow you do get through it. Just be kind to yourself.
Good luck.

Thanks everyone. Monday is hospital day for me - operation on Tuesday. In one way it can’t come quick enough but in another I don’t want it to arrive.


All the best for Tuesday. I’m listed for the 28th. Like you I had a mamogram which showed a small 6mm lump so am having WLE and node biopsy followed by radiotherapy if everything goes to plan.


what is wle am trying to get to grips with the lingo as well as everything else ha. not having a very good day so thought maybe a quick look on here would help me and it is

Hi Myrtle

Good luck for Tuesday, you’ll be Ok they will look after you very well. Will be thinking of you during this horrible time for you. It’s a tough time cos we rarely know there is anything wrong. Most ladies on here will tell you they had no idea there was any problem until they either found a lump or, as in your case, it was picked up on a routine mammo.

WLE is a wide local excision [or lumpectomy]. They remove the lump along with some surrounding tissue which they then test for total clearance of all cancer cells.

Hi Myrtle and all,

Just wanted to say hello and hope all goes well next week. I was dx on 24th Dec (I know nice timing) I went with a lump in my left breast which turned out to be a cyst and was aspirated there and then but they found a lump in the right breast which I didnt even know was there so kind of know how you feel. It turned out to be grade 2 1/8cm er + / pr + and I has a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy. The results from surgery were good and my margins and nodes were clear so I had radiotherapy and am now on 5 years of tamoxifen and 2 years of zoladex and will have my ovaries out too (I was 39 when dx so pre menopausal and oestrogen is not my friend it appears).
I had surgery on the 9th Jan and luckily had the chance to stay off work until after rads were finished and went back on the 1st April (Irony I think!!!) I just wanted to let you all know thereis light at the end of the tunnel and pass on some good thoughts to all you new ladies. When I was first diagnosed I found very few people in here who had similar diagnosis and treatment and felt a bit alone sometimes but with the help of some fantastic women with far worse diagnosis than me managed to pull myself through to this point. 6 months since dx and so far so good.
I know I have a long way to go and I could really do without the hot flushes from my early menopause but just wanted to say be good to yourselves ladies and good to each other. The support you will find in here will keep you going when you think you cant carry on.

Love and luck to each and every one of you. Shonagh x

Hi Myrtle

I was dx in Jan after finding a small lump in my right breast - I am 40 (fast approaching 41) but there was a history of bc in my family so to me the dx was not a great shock.

I had WLE with node sampling at end of Jan and rads mid March right through to end of April. None of this has been pleaseant but none has been horrendous if that makes sense. The fact that I bypassed chemo obviously has made it much easier for me than a lot of the others on here.

Don’t feel that you are less important tho - we all stand together in this bc circle and everyone has their own moments.

good luck for Tuesday and I wish you all the best, favourable results and a speedy recovery from surgery.

Love Lilac