Workplace Bullying or am I over reacting?

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Work, finance and travel
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Hi everyone, my name is Jo. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2022, started treatment in February 2023, and received the good news of a positive clinical response by May 2023.

I underwent a mastectomy in July 2023, followed by five days of radiation in November 2023, and returned to work in February 2024. I love my job as an Admin Assistant, a role I’ve been dedicated to for almost 30 years.

Upon returning, I had a meeting with Occupational Health and began a phased return to work. After four weeks, I resumed full-time duties. Part of my return involved requesting two reasonable adjustments: finishing work at 4:30pm instead of 5pm due to bus schedule conflicts and residual neuropathy in my legs, and the opportunity to work from home occasionally, especially during post-op recovery after my reconstruction surgery scheduled for July 30th.

Initially, my manager refused my request to finish at 4:30pm, citing business needs. After much back and forth, HR intervened, and she had to comply. However, she falsely claimed she agreed from the start, despite evidence to the contrary. Since then, she has imposed unreasonable restrictions, such as not allowing me to build up flexi time or record early start times.

Regarding hospital appointments, she suggested they come out of my annual leave. I informed her they are part of my reasonable adjustments, and HR confirmed they should be recorded as sickness without triggering any negative flags. Despite this, she repeatedly questioned my appointment times and arrangements, seemingly trying to create confusion.

For example, I communicated on June 17th that my appointment on July 8th would take the whole day. I even suggested working from home for part of the day to accommodate my appointments. Despite my efforts to cooperate and be flexible, she appears determined to misunderstand and complicate the situation.

She also asked how long I expect to be off after my surgery on July 30th, a question I find impossible to answer accurately as I’m having extensive procedures done. This ongoing behaviour is making me feel harassed and stressed.

Furthermore, I am subjected to passive-aggressive comments and suggestions about needing more training, which I find insulting given my impeccable work record. My colleagues and manager are discussing issues behind my back, leading to misleading accusations about my performance.

As I approach my surgery date, I am seriously considering raising a grievance due to this treatment. However, I want to ensure I am not overreacting due to pre-surgery stress. Can anyone here advise or share their thoughts on this situation?

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Hi, sorry to read this. It is all you need on top of your diagnosis and ongoing treatment. I read that a cancer diagnosis is classed as disability. Therefore employers have to make adjustments. I would certainly take this further to a union rep.
My employer was brilliant. I basically just had to tell them what time off I needed. I was given lighter duties for 6 months.
Hope you get better flexibility x

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Hi @boe718,

I’m so sorry to hear how you are being treated - you do not need that stress on top of everything else you have going on.

If you have breast cancer, employers are required to make reasonable adjustments to help you continue to work, return to work, have time off for medical appointments or for continued treatment and recovery. Your employment rights are protected under the Equality Act 2010.

You can find information about your rights at work on the Macmillan Cancer Support website.

Macmillan also have a work support line on 0808 808 00 00, they should be able to offer advice and advise how you should proceed.

I really hope that your surgery at the end of the month goes well, and that you are able to recover in peace without the extra stress of your workplace.

All the best,

Alice

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Thank you Alice, I spoke to Macmillan funnily enough just to make sure I wasnt over reacting due to post op stress.

The last thing I want to do is have a knee jerk reaction before calmly assessing the situation first.

Since I spoke to them I received an email from my manager advising me she had volunteered me to help support the year end finance team. I wrote back to my manager advising her Im not in a position to take on any extra duties, Im overwhelmed at the moment due to the upcoming surgery and appointments leading up to it and I politely declined but said I would be more than happy to help whenever I can after I have recovered

My manager has since responded with this:

Its placing orders as you do in your normal role and the school require our help for year-end. So its not new tasks that you need to learn.

This is a requirement so I will need you to help.

There just doesnt seem to be a considered approach with my boss, knowing full well I have further cancer related surgery I dont see evidence of a duty of care.

I really feel bullied and stressed out.

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Thank you I need to join a union, I was only employed at my new role for 8 months before my diagnosis so never got a chance and I certainly didnt think my manager would be so inconsiderate and that I would need representation. Honestly its as if Ive just had a common cold the way she is behaving lately.

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Hi @boe718 I do feel for you. As a young lawyer in employment law many years ago, I soon realised that issues over sickness was the main cause of individual disputes in the workplace.

The fact is the law is on your side however there is a big difference between implementing the law on reasonable adjustments and the actual employment relationship which is based on the principle of trust and confidence. From what you’ve said, that trust and confidence between you and your manager is not in a good way and could be irreparable.

In preparation of raising a grievance, if indeed you do, can I suggest, if you haven’t already, keep a contemporaneous record of everything that is said or done which is to your detriment. Date, time, people involved and actual quotes if you can remember them. Write them in a book or make a note on your phone as soon as you’re on your own. That includes any conversations that you have with HR. You will have a much better case if you don’t have to rely on memory alone.

Could HR facilitate mediation (with a qualified mediator) in which your manager and you get to air your perspectives in private with a view to understanding each other’s positions and coming to a compromised solution?

Is the company large enough that you could transfer to a different department? I completely understand that you may think ‘why should I be the one to move when I’ve done nothing wrong’ but you need to be pragmatic if the manager won’t change her position.

You have employment protection based not only on the Equality Act but also your 30 years service. It would be very expensive for your employer if they were to put you in an untenable position but it is hard and unpleasant to go through such disputes even when you are in the right. A good resource to speak to is ACAS on 0300 123 1100. Good luck.

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Hi, a lot of people just dont realise what we go through. If not in a union, you could also try citizens advice who have people trained in employment law. Keep fighting for what you are entitled to - dont give up x

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Honestly, dealing with workplace issues like this is exhausting, especially when it feels like things are stacked against you.

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Absolutely. I had the second stage of my reconstruction surgery on July 30th and my boss is being overly nice all of a sudden. However I come to find out they had been recording my hospital appointments as sickness and they were not supposed to do that so they have all been taken off my sick record.

My problem with this is because both my boss and HR made me believe that a reduction is sick leave would effect my recovery time from my surgery my recovery felt rushed when all this time I should have never been put in that position.

Despite the fact I am ok and recovery from surgery went well I could have done without the stress of worrying that I would recover before my pay was affected.

HR of all departments should have been trained to know this and I feel quite let down.

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I’m absolutely shocked that in today’s modern world, with so many regulatIons companies can still act this way. My hot head would say “name and shame” !

I’m so glad my employer has been accommodating, and to be honest, I really couldn’t care if they had put up a fuss. Which is very unlike me, but I’ve two bad years medically, and my attitude changed. Thankfully they have been exceptional (so far).

I can not image the extra stress you are going through. Hope you find a way to get the support you need.
X

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What you’re describing sounds rough, and it’s good you’re thinking about keeping a record of what’s going on—having everything documented can make a huge difference if it comes to a formal complaint.
If you’re looking into the idea of a grievance, it could be worth checking out resources on employment discrimination.

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Hi Boe718, I’m scrolling tonight as I’m also experiencing passive aggressive behaviour from my manager and have been all through my Cancer diagnosis and return to work. I’ve taken the decision to retire early just to get away from stress at work. Unfortunately though I still need to work another 6 months For financial reasons. I’m hoping you are now free of the bullying manager you discribed. How did you resolve the situation ?

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Hi @Tigress — it’s been a while since I last posted, but I wanted to thank you again for your kind and thoughtful advice. You suggested keeping a contemporaneous record and gathering as much evidence as possible — I took that to heart and over the past year I’ve built up a detailed timeline, kept notes, and compiled all relevant emails, including direct quotes and examples of how things have unfolded.

Unfortunately, since returning to work after my second-stage reconstruction surgery, things have worsened. What started as subtle resistance has now escalated into what feels like open hostility. My manager has consistently made it difficult to implement reasonable adjustments, applied policies inconsistently (compared to colleagues), and subjected me to an exhausting level of micromanagement and scrutiny. It’s left me feeling incredibly unsupported and targeted, particularly given my diagnosis and long-standing health challenges from treatment.

The turning point for me was an incident on the 7th of March. She sent a team-wide email singling me out, once again ignoring the impact of my chemo-induced neuropathy — which I’ve explained several times. When I called her out on it, she demanded a meeting, and in her email she said: “This is a reasonable request as your line manager.”

That really raised alarm bells for me — my understanding is that the phrase “reasonable request as your line manager” typically applies to issues around performance, not personal health matters or the reasonable adjustment process. I’ve since involved my union, who are now reviewing all the evidence, and I’m hoping to decide on the next steps soon.

In the meantime, I’ve secured another job (pending vetting), so I’m still in post until that clears — which sadly means enduring the same hostile environment a bit longer. My biggest concern now is protecting my health and ensuring there’s no negative impact on my new opportunity.

Can I ask, just from a legal perspective — does it sound like this could constitute constructive dismissal or a breach of the employer’s duty under the Equality Act? I’m trying to prepare myself fully and it would be so helpful to hear your thoughts, especially with your background.

Thank you again for your kindness and guidance. It made a big difference knowing someone understood. :heart:

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Hi @boe718 I’m very sorry to hear that you are still experiencing difficult working conditions but hopefully a new job will be the start of better things.

Sorry, this might be quite long.

I’m glad that you have kept assiduous contemporaneous records as these will be invaluable if you do take things further. I’m sure that you understand that I couldn’t give you any specific advice, certainly without being able to review all of the detail which I won’t be able to do, but also because your trade union will be giving you expert advice. If you are to take things further the union will be picking up the cost of legal representation so they need to be quite clear on the merits of your case.

Obviously with a constructive unfair dismissal claim there has to be a dismissal. This would require you to define a repudiatory breach of contract, accept that breach and immediately leave your job, also leaving your pay and benefits. It’s a big step. Constuctive unfair dismissal is very hard to prove at tribunal and it would be incumbent on you to prove it (the employer doesn’t have to prove that they didn’t breach the contract) which means that claims arent’t often successful. But, yes, a hostile working environment could be the basis for CUD as could unfair performance management and bullying and harassment all of which you have indicated you have been subjected to. Generally, tribunal would expect a grievance to be raised prior to a claim but it isn’t absolutely necessary.

Before you go on with a claim however, here are a couple of things for you to think about. Most importantly, what do you want to get out of it? The tests for both Unfair Constructive Dismissal and a breach of the Equality Act are quite stringent. This is where your trade union advisors come in - they need to be clear with you on the merits of your case. Once you are in, it is very stressful and time-consuming preparing the case with your legal advisors. You would be cross examined at tribunal most likely by your employer’s barrister - it can be extremely stressful. It is important to remember that tribunals consider evidence not emotion so if you are doing it to to ‘get justice’ or a bit or revenge, whilst understandable, this isn’t a legitimate basis for a claim. Your employers representatives will do their utmost to make you look bad which can make the resentment that you feel much worse particularly if your claim is not successful. Remedies for UCD compensate you for your loss, which, if you take up a new job fairly soon, won’t be huge (you have a duty to mitigate your loss in any case). Obviously remedies for discrimination can be much higher but typically aren’t life-changing sums of money. Finally, and this will be a difficult thing to swallow, for your new employer, the optics of a tribunal case may not be good, I’m sorry to say. I am not, however, suggesting that you don’t make a claim but just be aware of how stressful it can be without any guarantee of success.

No doubt in my mind that you have been treated unreasonably and at a time when you need the utmost support in every area of you life but please get complete clarity from your union legal advisers before deciding whether to press your claim. I wish you all the luck in the future particularly with the new job, you deserve to be able to go forward in your life without this unsustainable work situation dragging you down.

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Hi @Tigress,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response—it really means a lot, and I truly value your insights and the time you’ve taken to share your perspective. You raised some very valid and important points, and I wanted to give you a bit more background so that you have a clearer picture of what’s happened.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2022 and was off work throughout 2023 undergoing chemotherapy, surgery, and recovery. I didn’t return to work until February 2024. It was upon my return that I began facing serious difficulties around the implementation of my reasonable adjustments, even though these were formally recommended by Occupational Health.

From the outset, I encountered blanket refusals around my request to temporarily work from home around hospital appointments and post op recovery. My manager ignored Occupational Health recommendations, delayed making decisions, and repeatedly provided inconsistent or contradictory justifications—including citing “confidentiality concerns,” saying my role was “forward-facing,” and that others were on “higher grades.” None of these reasons held weight. In fact, I had previously worked from home in 2022 doing the same duties without issue, and I’ve never been subject to BPSS clearance, which staff handling sensitive material would typically need.

One reasonable adjustment I did receive—finishing work at 4:30pm to allow me to get a bus due to my mobility issues, however, my manager stated outright that it was only temporary and attempted to implement a 6-month limit on it. She later denied saying this, but I have written proof. Once I was awarded the Access to Work grant for transport (which was meant to support me), she removed the adjustment entirely.

As for working from home, she continued to delay, confuse, or outright obstruct the process—often deliberately misrepresenting or questioning my hospital appointment times, making it near impossible to reach agreement without unnecessary stress, she was also pushing numerous times for me to take my hospital appointments out of my annual leave and even when she was corrected by HR that hospital appointments were not to come out of my annual leave she still continued to push the matter.

All of this happened while I was still recovering physically and emotionally. What’s made it harder is the lack of support from HR—despite me reaching out multiple times, they either ignored my concerns or simply pushed me back toward my manager. Even after they admitted that hospital appointments had been misclassified as sickness, I received no apology or accountability.

Since then, the situation has continued to escalate. I’ve now involved my union, and we’re preparing to move forward more formally. It’s not about revenge for me—it’s about accountability and making sure what I’ve been through doesn’t happen to someone else.

Thank you again for your honesty and support—it’s helped me feel less alone and more empowered to stand up for myself. I’d be grateful for any further thoughts you might have now that you have the fuller context.

Warmest wishes,
Jo

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@boe718 Im so sorry to hear about the way you have been treated. It does seem that you have been singled out. @Tigress has given you some good pointers on what you can do.

I pleased you have the union involved and you are moving forward with them. Even if you leave, you will leave a legacy so it doesn’t happen to anyone else. I really believe that many managers don’t know the law and many ‘unwittingly’ ignore their legal obligations. I have read on the forum others mention that they had asked their boss not to tell the other staff about their diagnosis and later found out it was mentioned to everyone. This is against privacy laws if you have explicitly told them to keep it quiet. They can only share it without your consent if they have a legitimate business reason to do so. Thought I would mention this as it may be applicable to you aswell.

I just wanted to point out there is a charity called Working with Cancer who can help you and your employer, including HR, who from my experience favour the company than the staff member! Breast cancer now did a Podcats with Barbara the founder who is a HR professional and diagnosed with bc herself.

I hope they help.

I will keep everything crossed that you get the new job.

:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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@boe718 I have sent you a DM

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