I sometimes think my head is going to explode with the enormity of everything. It feels like one minute I had completed treatment for HER2 positive breast cancer and was carrying on with my life and now I have been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer with occurrences in my lungs, chest wall and ribs. I feel ill and defeated before I start. I look at myself trying to walk around and I look like a really I’ll person and all I can think is that I’m going to die soon. I’m trying to keep thinking positive thoughts but when you actually feel ill it’s difficult. I’m sure other people have felt like me and got through it and any advice would be taken on board. Thank you for reading this.
I am new to this forum so I am sure there are more experienced people than me to help you with wise and kind words.
But, as you know, you are not alone. I posted my experiences recently if you want to read about it and I have to say a hefty dose of anti depressants has helped calm my panic. I have this evil stuff in my brain! It is so awful.
If you need to chat, I am here.
Jane, awful I know, but I’m now 74 and was diagnosed 4 years ago with stage2 ER+ . Like yourself I was reeling from this horrible news when it was discovered in my LNs, so they were removed too. First week of rads and the suspect CT scan showed mets in my lungs! Nightmare…straight to stage 4…and I’m OLD anyway. However, my lovely Onco was so positive that I was able to pick myself up and get on with things. My local Maggies Centre was a godsend and I received loads of help, both physically and emotionally, from them. I started a journal where I could scream out my thoughts , then close the book and so lock away my worries. Meeting others at Maggies made me see that I was not alone, and discussions with my peers demonstrated the enormous range of treatments available. I got lots of help and info from this site, and so was much better informed medically and felt I therefore had better informed discussions with each consultant. Your feelings are normal , Jane. You will get through this as you are braver than you feel. Modern medicine is marvellous, and your medical team are on your side, and your success is their success. You may find some calm and peace of mind doing some firm if mindfulness which teaches you to live in the moment, neither looking back and feeling regretful, nor trying to predict an uncertain future. I would urge you to give this a try. In the meantime I wish you all the best. Please stay in touch. I will look for your posts. Ann x
i feel exactly like you. Felt my whole world crashed down on Wednesday when diagnosed with lung mets. Went for the scan thinking it was a precaution and I would have a mastectomy never this.
I joined this forum last Wednesday feeling pretty hopeless but the ladies that reached out to me gave me hope and I felt much more positive. Early days yet I know.
Huge hug to you