worried again!

Hi,
I was a regular on this wonderful site following my diagnosis and treatment nearly three years ago (WLE & node clearance plus radiotherapy). I have been fine since. Went for a routine appointment at the breast clinic yesterday and they discovered a lump in the same breast. The consultant is arranging for a mammogram and ultrasound and said he is hoping it is a cyst or scar tissue, which I am trying to convince myself is the case. It’s just so horrible being back in that scary place again, especially so close to Christmas. This time yesterday I was fretting about getting all the shopping finished, sort of puts it in perspective really! I don’t know whether to even mention it to my family, as I don’t want to worry them or spoil Christmas for them, but at the same time it’s hard to act normal at the moment when suddenly I don’t feel very festive any more.

Nicky

Hi Nicky,

Sorry to hear you have found another lump, bet its a cyst. Just think positive. I had a lumpectomy in March and am really scared also that its going to re-occur. I have had lots of problems with my breast since the operation and I never thought I would say or think this, but sometimes I wish I had the whole breast taken away just so that I can stop the fretting and worry of this awful thing coming back.

Try to think positive and don’t let it spoil your Christmas.

Best wishes

Love Mushroom

Hi, I am like you, nearly 3 years since all treatment finished, it never leaves you though does it… I have yearly check up planned in January.

Just wanted to say try not to think the worst, it may well be just a cyst or scar tissue. Even if it is the worst news, you dealt with it before and you can do it again. If I was you, I think I would tell my family, they will probably notice that you have something on your mind and it definiately does help to share your thoughts.

After a period of time, I think our family and friends assume we are ‘over it’ but it really is up to us to let them know that maybe we are not and still need their support. My family tend not to talk about it and some days I just want to rant and rave and tell them of my fear of it coming back but I never do…

Anyway I am starting to ramble on now so better go. I wish you the best of luck with your results.

Jackie

Hi Mushroom & Jackie,

Thank you so much for your replies, it really does help to talk to someone else who knows how you are feeling. I also have had problems with the breast since treatment, it is still very tender particularly around my underarm scar from the lymph gland removal and I had an ultrasound last year because of the pain and was diagnosed with radiation mastitis. I am hoping this lump is part of the scar tissue associated with that, although the lump is higher up and out of the irradiated area (I still have the obvious line that shows where that was!)

I think Jackie what you say is so true. I feel in a lot of ways I have moved on and my family don’t mention it now, but we are very close-I have four kids in their twenties and when I was first diagnosed my elder daughter was in the middle of her finals at uni. I agonised over whether to mention it then but struggled to hide it from her, and when I did tell her she said that she was so glad that I had shared it with her at the start. I think I will tell them, as like you say I need their support.I don’t even know whether I’ll get the appointment for the tests before Christmas and I don’t think I could keep up a front for that long-everyone is coming to me for Christmas dinner so it would be really hard.

Thanks again for your support, and I will let you know the results-hopefully it will be nothing to worry about. I hope you both have a great Christmas, and wish you both continued good health.

Nicky

Hi Nicky

You were the one I took comfort from when I had my own dx 2 and a bit years ago and also when I had post op problems, similar to your own. I know I have loads of internal scarring due to the rads damage and I should think you do too but its no good me telling you not to worry, because that is what we do.

Try to have as good a Christmas as poss, the festivities and loved ones will take your mind off it( if you cannot get appt before that is) and I am as sure as I can be that all will be ok.

Love Laine

Hi Laine,

I was so pleased to get your reply, how are you? I hope that you are keeping well. I remember our conversations and I’m glad you feel I was able to help you a bit at the time.

I am trying to keep busy and not think about it, as you say there is so much to do at the moment it’s good really. I haven’t been on the site for a while but it was so nice to have replies when I posted, everyone on here understands how you are feeling whereas family and friends don’t always. I told my daughters last night and was glad I did, they were pleased I had told them and they were both very positive and supportive. I’m just waiting to hear now when the tests will be.

Take care, and I hope you have a good Christmas too,

Love Nicky x

Hello, just wanted to say that my results were ok-the lump turned out to be scar tissue from the rads. The consultant rang me at 2pm on Christmas Eve to give me the good news, and said although the policy was not to give results over the phone he was making an exception so I could enjoy my Christmas. As you can imagine that was the best present I could’ve received.

Thanks for your good wishes,

Nicky x

Hi,
just picked up this thread and wanted to say fantastic news and very pleased for you.
Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Lily x

Am so pleased Nicky, what a wonderful present!

Laine x

Hi Nicky
I have just read your comments and was glad to find someone who actually feels the way i do at the mo! I was recently dx in late Jan and had a WLE + SNB(2cm,grade 3+sml dcis, ER+ Her2-) early Feb. I am going for 2nd surgery in 2wks for, hopefully, clearer margins and LN clearance as 1 of the 2 nodes were positive(can’t really understand why i need them all out)?
Chemo is planned 3-4wks after surgery followed by rads & tamoxifen(why can’t i just get my ovaries taken away as my c is oestogen receptive)?
My scars after 4wks have healed well but i am left with a very sensitive nipple in which i cannot bear clothes/anything touching me. It is stopping me from the getting out and about & every step or bump is agony and i walk around most of the time like the ‘Hunchback of Notre Dame’ and it doesn’t seem to be easing!
If this does not go, i would consider having a mastectomy at my next surgery rather than being left like this! Sorry for not being more positive but i find this all rather new and scary! Please help?