I am just so fed up and frightened. 4 weeks ago I went for a hospital appointment which I thought was just a routine appointment following finishing radiotherapy in March only to find that the doctors were concerned with my liver function test blood results and they wanted me to have an URGENT ct scan. The doctor did not explain why just muttered something when I asked if they were looking for secondaries.
After phoning for three days I finally got hold of my BC nurse who just said ‘don’t worry’ it might be nothing and gave me the impression that she thought that I was being silly crying and worrying. After 3 weeks I finally had the CT scan last week and was meant to be going to clinic this afternoon to get the result, but the secretary rang to say that it had not been reported on so I would have to wait until next week, which means another week of imagining the worst and will be five weeks in all.
The only person who knows the situation is my husband, but he has completely shut off and won’t talk about it. I do not want to tell anyone else until it is definite in case my children hear about it from someone else– which is what happened when I was first diagnosed. I am surrounded by people who keep saying that I must be really pleased to have finished the treatment – and I find it really hard to keep smiling and saying yes. To make matters worse my father has been admitted to hospital and my mum is not coping with that so I can’t tell her about this as she was devastated when I originally told her I had bc.
Sorry about the long moan I just needed to get it off my chest.
Hi redpark
I understand that the waiting must be very difficult, partiulcarly if you don’t feel that you can share your worries with family and friends.
I am sure you’ll get lots of support from other forum members, but in the meantime, if you feel it will help to talk, please give the helpline a ring.
They can offer support and information, but also, just a listening ear if you feel it will help to talk.
The number is 0808 800 6000.
Kind regards.
Louise
Facilitator
Hi redpark,
it’s no wonder your in a state. The helpline are fab and a
am a regular caller. I understand you not tellin your folks as I haven’t told
mine bout my secondaries as they are in same situation as yours xx
sadly partners tend to clam up, particularly in men it’s their way. My partner gets angry and storms out when I try to talk cos he just can’t face it xxxx before my original primary dx he did exactly what yours has done leaving me to worry alone.
I think it’s awful that they haven’t been more open and explained things to you though. And it sounds as though
you don’t have much faith in your own nurse which
is a real shame xxxx
I am more than happy to listen to your fears so if your really in need of someone to chat to I will happily give you my number privately as I know the awful emotions you will be experiencing x
However be warned I am Scottish lol xxxx
Are there any very close friends you can talk to who can maybe go with you and see your nurse and ask everything that’s on your mind?
Thanks signet
I have seen from other posts that you are having your own worrys so it was very kind of you to think of me.
I am not the most patient person so waiting for something like this is not easy for me, espeically when I had geered myself up to getting the results today and now having to wait another week.
I am not keen to see or talk to the bc nurse as I find her patronising and found that she promises to do things and then does not do them. I am actually hoping she is not going to be there when I get the results. As for telling a freind I am worried becasue I told someone when I was waiting for my origianl results and she then discussed it with my 13 year old daughter who knew nothing aobut it and I am scared the same thing will happen agian.
It has helped just airing it on here thought and hopefully I will get through the next week without too much loss of sleep.
I know that you are havign problems with nurses and from what your have posted I would suggest that your trust your doctors and listen to them not the nurses.
Sarah
Thanks xx
I am very impatient too so know exactly how u feel and it’s bit of a wait. I have had couple bad Lft results which just meant liver function wasn’t as good. They sound as tho being thorough and I would think yes it’s secs they will be checking for but all sorts of things can affect liver function
so u just don’t know.
God I would murder my friend if they had done that to my ten year old x
hang in there and try not to let it take over and keep us posted too!!!
thanks signet for your positive thoughts
Sarah