Morning all
I’ve been lingering for a few weeks following my diagnosis but thought I’d pluck up the courage to post, just to share my worries really. I had a lumpectomy and breast conserving surgery 2 weeks ago. Went for my results yesterday and my margins were close so I need another operation at the end of April. There was also cancer cells in one of the two lymph nodes so I will be having more removed. I feel really fed up and worried but putting on a brave face to family and friends because what choice do I have. I can wallow or suck it up so decided to suck it up. I didn’t see my surgeon which was a bit disappointing and I didn’t ask all the questions I should have. I guess I’m just feeling really flat at the moment. Any ideas for lifting my spirits?
5 Likes
Hello @philippa74
Welcome to the forums and the club no-one wants or asks to join!
I’m sorry to hear you how you are feeling, but please be assured that all your feelings are valid. I know how hard it is talking to people who have not experienced a breast cancer diagnosis, and as kind and empathetic as people can be, just talking to someone who knows can make such a difference
My experience was similar to yours, in that I had a lumpectomy, I was however fortunate to be told I had clear margins at my follow appointment (but my head was still in such a whirl at that time I didn’t really appreciate quite how good that news was) so I’m sorry to hear that your follow up was not as positive as it could have been and that you didn’t feel able to talk it through more fully.
In terms of advice at this point, just posting on here is a very positive step: I have to confess that I “downplayed” my cancer diagnosis I completely failed to appreciate the impact it had on my mental health and didn’t seek support until around six to eight weeks after my surgery, when I sat down with my friend’s mum who had been through the same 20 years previously and that was when I joined the forums.
I would also suggest contacting MacMillan or Maggie’s to ask about support groups, I found our local Maggie’s to be incredibly helpful and supportive
I totally understand you saying that talking isn’t going to change your situation but it can help you feel better about it.
As an immediate pick me up, I would suggest just doing something you enjoy no matter how indulgent it feels: be it eating a piece of cake, binging a box set, whatever….hopefully it will remind you that notwithstanding your diagnosis there are still things to enjoy in life 
Wishing you all the best for the next stage of your treatment
AM xxxx
2 Likes
Hi, so sorry to hear this news and totally understand why you would be worried. However I think for me reducing the worry as much as possible has been very helpful . I have come to realise that worry is such a waste of my energy. I have recently had a DCIS diagnosis and am waiting to hear if it will be a lumpectomy or mastectomy. I have gone into a ‘me first mode’ focussing on looking after myself, doing what I want at my pace, putting myself first, taking everything very slowly, enjoying little things, lots of sleep and water. Sorting out my clothes, setting small goals that I want to achieve, reading loads about breast cancer. I am amazed at all the different stories and how positive so many women are, inspirational really. I am determined to ‘clean’ up my life so am going plastic and chemical free where I can gradually and clean eating. There are amazing resources out there, I follow quite a few than have had breast cancer including Julia Bradbury who I find very interesting. Sorry to waffle on and I a not sure if any of this helps, but keep talking and sharing your worries, there is a lot of support out there 
2 Likes
Hi @philippa74 so sorry that you haven’t had the news that you wanted, but fantastic they are going to get that sorted ASAP.
If there are questions you needed to ask, then might be worth emailed or calling your Breast Care Nurse as they will have alot of answers or can ask them for you to the surgeon as they usually work closely with them. That might then take away alot of the worries for you 
The waiting in all of this is just the hardest thing, and so hard to distract the brain. I watch alot of mind numbing TV, at the start of this Gilmore Girls on Netflix was my comfort program. Nice walks also helps me. But also these forums have been a massive support, speaking to people that do really understand what you are going through
Sending lots of love your way xx
1 Like
Hi - sorry you are feeling flat but it is totally understandable. I had a lumpectomy and full anxilliary clearance as I already knew it had spread to my lymph nodes. My tumour margins were not clear, so I needed a second operation. Hearing that they had not got clear margins and needing another op totally threw me. I was really not expecting it all, I think because I knew beforehand that it had already spread to my lymph nodes, if that makes sense. I felt like needing a further operation was taking me back to the start and resented the delay to the rest of my treatment and recovery.
I would second making a note of any questions that come up now and ring your Breast Cancer nurse to go through those questions. The Nurse team here are also a great source of information and help. I spoke to them a couple of times throughout my treatment journey. Speaking to them helped me feel like I was regaining a bit of control in understanding what was going on. I also did a journal throughout my whole experience, and it helped to put some of these completely open and honest thoughts down on paper that I didn’t necessarily want to say out loud. Or have people telling me to think positive!!! I did most of the time, but it was also good to allow myself to feel all of my feelings and not bury them.
For what it’s worth - for me at least - the second operation was much quicker and my recovery shorter. I went to a family wedding 5 days later,
For now just focus on things that you enjoy, or bring you peace. Whether that is a walk, or curled up on the sofa with a book, or going out for a coffee and a cake.
I am now 4 years on from my operation and had chemo, radiotherapy and now hormone tablets.
Wishing you well in the rest of your treatment, and keep posting on here with anything you need support on. It really helps knowing there are others who understand your fears and worries xx
1 Like