My precious mum aged 58 has secondary breast cancer in her bones and liver. She was admitted to a local hopsital for pain relief as the local hospices were full. She did not want to go but accepted due to the level of pain. Since going she is not in pain but “not in this world” as completley drugged up.I feel that she is worse than when she is admitted and she appears to have given in but in reality I know that she is not in pain, not being sick, is sleeping and with support can eat/drink. She now has a morphine syringe driver, morphine patches, anti-inflammatories, anti-sickness medication etc. I am hoping tonight I can see my mum and she will be a little better that the last few days. Dr’s reviewed her yesterday and will re-review next Monday or Tuesday. She was on the equivalent of 80mgs daily from 40mgs daily pre-admission of morphine so hopefully that along with the high level of anti-sickness medication is the reason for her confusion, lack of coordination, hallucinations etc. They are going to restart zometa (stopped Dec 2010 as they saw no point) as currently she has raised calcium in her bones. Hopefully she will have a bone scan next week but its not possible to do that until she is fit to travel to the larger hospital for this to happen.
Out family holiday for Saturday has been cancelled 
as it looks like she will be in hospital for at least another week. Not important in the scheme of things but I was really looking forward to a week away spent with my mum and family.
I am trying to be positive but are anxious that this is the start a downward spirral. Hopefully its another one of the blips that she has had in the last 4 years of dealing with secondary cancer. Lets be positive and say that we can arrange a short break someone in the near future and have a great time.