Worried sick

Like so many other people, I’m so scared. I had a recall letter from my mammogram and went to the assessment clinic yesterday. I’d already spoken to one of the nurses on the phone who told me that I’d been recalled because there was something suspicious on my mammogram rather than because the pictures weren’t clear, so I’d spent the previous 10 days being very worried. I had another mammogram and took part in the tomosynthesis trial being run by teh clinic. The doctor called us in for the ultrasound, and it was clear that he already felt it was necessary to do a biopsy. I’ve got two suspicious areas in my right breast; there is no obvious palpable lump, although he did say that it felt a bit lumpy generally. He took core biopsies from two areas. I don’t get my results until next Wednesday, and I’m in such a panic. I know all the statistics, and have gone against the advice I always give other people, and have spent quite a bit of time on the internet over the last 10 days. My husband is being lovely, but is clearly shocked as well. I really want to talk to my mum, but she’s in her mid 80s and is so worried waiting for an appointment for eye surgery; my brother died suddenly 4 months ago, and I just can’t add to her worries until I know whether I do have a serious problem. How do people get through this waiting time?

Hi Greycat

Welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will receive lots of help and support from your fellow users. You may also find our helpline useful to call, the number is 0808 800 6000 and it is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2, our team are here to offer you support, information and a listening ear.

Take care
Lucy

Bless you xxx
Its the waiting room scenario that sucks and I dont think its fair at all, I,m a nurse and it does annoy me… the waiting should be reduced I just think that if it was them they would do something about it!!!
I just thought to myself when I found myself in your position there,s nothing I can do to change whatever the results are and I know that sounds easy “it was,nt” but it helped “A bit”
My results were positive and looking back i,m not sure what my emotions were, but it passed so quickly once I started op/treatment and now its a million miles away and 1 yr on i,m still here :slight_smile: no matter how much we worry we cant change things so be kind to yourself hon your no different than any of us who unfortunately have travelled this unwelcome road and have worried our heads off… AND you must think positively You may be ok :slight_smile: I truly hope you are and sending a big ((hug)) keep us informed and remember you can bounce your worrys off any of us on here. there will always be a pair of ears ready to listen and chat :slight_smile: AND STOP LOOKING UP THE SITES ON THE INTERNET!!! they are full of misinformation and do scare the pants of you says she who,s(been there done that… not going back)
XXXXXhugXXXXX Doz

Hello Greycat,

Sorry to read you are joining us on here you have come to the right place for support and info, there is a lot of inspirational ladies on here whom can answer a lot of your questions.

We all feel the worse when we have a recall a very worrying time for you, results take forever.there is a lot of different things that can go wrong with our breast NOT always BC,

Myself it took me a long time to tell any family member and friends,
as for your dear mum leave it for awhile until you are able to cope with your own news first which can take weeks as it is a shock for us all,

your OH will be your tower of strength mine reacted not the way i hoped at first, it was his way of coping which i now understand he was as scared as me.

The support i needed and found is on these threads, at the moment only read threads at same stage as you as you can scare yourself silly, take one day at a time as i have been told by my pink buddies.

Do contact me if you need more info also BCN on this site are a great
source of info and support, a lot of leaflets to down load.

Keep pecker up Pat xx

Thank you all for your kind and helpful comments. It does help to share feelings. Fortunately my daughter is away at university so I don’t need to let her know that anything is wrong at the moment. It still all seems very unreal; when I was having the biopsies done yesterday, it was hard to believe it was really me lying there.

I am trying to keep away from the internet!

Hi

Oh you poor love, it may turn out to be nothing but that doesn’t stop the anxiety does it?

I know just how you feel, so does every lady on this site, the waiting room sucks!!!

You will get a lot of support and info on here and STOP GOOGLING!!, you’ll do what I did and scare yourself silly.

Whatever your results turn out to be you will cope, there is a lot of support for us ladies on here and in the treatment.

My best wishes to you and your OH and keep posting to let us know how you are M

Hi Greycat
I think you summed it up in one when you said it was hard to believe it was you lying there… but it still may turn out to be nothing.
They BC team are excellent and as much as I hated having the biopsy done at least it WAS done but I felt the same detatchment but it does,nt leave you thinking a stone was left unturned… I,m also in agreement with you on not informing too many people yet as if it turns out to be something other than C then you will have spared them,(this was the advice given to me by a very sweet McMillan Nurse)tho it does,nt mean you have to go it alone by any means sweetheart you have your other half who sounds very supportive and sometimes as I found talking to strangers on here you can rant/cry/swear/not too strongly tho :slight_smile: and we all know where your coming from xxxx
Stay positive hon a friend told me when you think negatively you invite more negative thoughts to come along and vice versa with positivity, I admit it takes a strong person to be positive when they are in the midst of all this fear but do try ((hug))
keep posting xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Doz

Hi Greycat
Just a litlle note to say your in my thoughts and I was wondering how you were getting along… Big hugs xxxxx

It’s very kind of you to post. When we went back, I was told that both lumps were small cancers. They are both about 0.5 cm, and I was told that they are both grade 1. The ultrasound did not show any obvious problem with my lymph glands. The surgeon said that I would need to have radiotherapy and Tamoxifen after they have been removed. He said that the removal would be a bit more complicated than he hoped; because the tumours are 4cm apart, and he will take a 1cm margin away around the tumours, he was concerned that there might not be enough tissue left inbetween to maintain a reasonable shape, and that a mastectomy might be a better option. We met the breast care nurse on Tuesday to talk through the options, and it left me feeling completely devastated. I think I probably asked too many questions, and although she was very kind, she was very matter of fact and didn’t pull any punches. Like everyone else, I’m finding it very hard to come to terms with.

I’m scheduled for surgery on the 13th, but at this stage I don’t know what will be done. I’ve got an MRI scan on Sunday, and then on Thursday will meet the plastic surgeon and the surgeon I’ve already seen to decide on whether I will have preservative surgery or a mastectomy. Whatever happens, I think I will have the sentinel node removed on the 13th, and if it’s feasible to have the lumpectomy, that will be done that day. If not, I’ll be booked in for the mastectomy, probably just before Xmas, but this has to be done at St Thomas’ rather than Kings.

To be honest, I’m terrified - of the operation, the pain, and most of all that it could have spread. I’ve been reading about The Haven, a breast cancer support organisation, and I’m going on their introduction day on Tuesday, whichi I hope might help. I broke the news to my Mum last week, and she was devastated, particularly having lost my brother so recently. She only had her cataract surgery on Monday, and is still trying to adjust to her new lens as well as coming to terms with this. My daughter is home from university next weekend, so we will have to tell her the news then - I didn’t feel it was something I should tell her over the phone.

Sorry for the long post - it’s hard to stop once I get going!

Dear Greycat
my thoughts are with you and your family. I am in the same position as you and worry myself sick. My appointment is on Monday with the professor and like a lot of the other ladies on this site have been all over the internet (not a good idea). I found this site only a couple of days ago and am ever so grateful for all the information and support. You are in my thoughts

Alanaa

Hi

It’s great you have kept posting. Not the result you hoped for but I can assure you on one thing, I too was terified of surgery, I stopped listening to the doc after she said operation…I felt like running there and then but I had nothing to fear, I had no pain as the staff all take pain relief really seriously, I was up and about the next day and felt fine, just a bit tired. I had right Mx. The sentinel node thing is just a little needle near the nipple and the rest is done in theatre. That didn’t hurt either.

Whatever surgery you have I wish you all the best, sending positive vibes and virtual gand holding M

Thank you both so much for your kind words. I had the MRI scan today, which was fine, so that’s the first step on my journey to recovery.

Hi Greycat
Thats really good news about your scan… hopefully the rest of your journey will be as positive love… I,m sure if your lymph nodes looked fine on the scan then when the 2 sentinels are removed they will be clear… going on my experience!
Also a Mastectomy will only be done if absolutely neccessary??
I had a grade 2 very deep and like you was told I had a 1cm margin removed…I then got a heamatoma (clot) 2 weeks after op so had lots of fluid removed which left my boob considerably smaller but i,m really not bothered about that at least i,m still here :slight_smile: I,m sure a lumpectomy will be the first suggestion with all the other results ie lymph nodes sounding good and at the end of the day you can have a reconstruction if you are concerned about size/shape etc…
You will be fine on 13th hon its my birthday :slight_smile:
Dont worry too much about it all hon our minds really do magnify things when we are scared and we all were/are!!
You wont know anything about the op so try not to get too upset about it honestly its over and done before you know it and the team will keep on top of any pain you might get, I was on pain killers for 2 days then found I didnt need them, I know were all different and maybe I was lucky but it does,nt mean to say you will not be love… we are human and of course we are scared S***less so dont beat yourself up too much, they will do whats best for you and are an amazing team who will support you all the way.
I hope everything went as well as possible with your daughter… its surprising how resilient our offsprings are on the face of things. Thinking about you and all the girls still travelling on this journey… love and hugs to you all Doz xxxxxx