I have been diagnosed with lobular breast cancer grade 2. It’s also in my lymph glands. I now need to wait til 3 jan for ct scan to see if it’s spread. I’m going out of my mind with worry. I don’t have any other symptoms but scared if it’s spread. How am I meant to get thru Xmas and next few weeks feeling like this? I’m so scared. It’s horrible.
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Bless you @stafford22 .
It’s hard, we’ve all been there and I think have all found that this waiting is the WORST part of it all. As has been said by many of us, once you know your actual results from the team, you will know what you are dealing with, and the way forward with your treatment.
I think it might be helpful to be aware though that things can change as more details are shown by the tests. I was also diagnosed with grade 2 invasive lobular cancer and was told that I had at least 2 suspicious lymph nodes which panicked me, and I imagined that I could even feel it spreading. It then came to light that I also had DCIS and LCIS over a larger area.
I had a mastectomy and full lymph node clearance and it was found that actually, only one lymph node was affected.
This waiting time is awful & truly terrifying . All I can suggest is try to find peace where you can and plenty of distraction, and for me, I found that journaling was really helpful - it got things out of my head and onto paper which helped.
Huge love and keep coming back for support.
Xx
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Stafford22, I really feel for you…just like Fran has said, we all know this terror. When I was told cancer had spread to one of my lymph nodes (with extra capsular spread) - despite being reassured by scans and examinations it hadn’t - I was absolutely devastated. One lady on here, who had had a similar experience, said when she was told it was in her lymph nodes, she felt like she had been diagnosed all over again. This really resonated with me, and it’s probably what you’re feeling now too. Despite this, she has come out the other end, I am nearly there and I’m sure you will be following behind… just a little further than you originally anticipated.
Having to get through Christmas and New Year before your appointment is brutal. No getting around that. But you can do it! What helped me was doing loads of exercise to keep busy (which cancer cells hate!) and to focus on eating well. Like Fran says, writing everything down can help you feel a bit calmer. You are due a bit of good luck at your next appointment, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be. You are in my thoughts. Reach out to us whenever you need. Big virtual hug xxx
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I really feel for you, @stafford22, as it’s the most awful part of this whole thing waiting for tests and results. I found the time up to my surgery horrendous with the constant uncertainty and changing plans. But, I got there and, hard as it is, you will too.
I agree with the recommendations other lovely members of this forum have already shared. A journal is so helpful for getting emotions out and onto paper, like @fran I kept one throughout and still dip in and out of it now. I also can’t agree enough with @morion24 regarding exercise. Even when I didn’t feel like it I forced myself to exercise regularly and it really helped to clear my mind. I am convinced regular exercise is why I have recovered quickly and now have no issues with hormone therapy.
Best of luck with everything and I hope you are able to push thoughts of cancer to the side, even if only for a short while, to enjoy tomorrow. x
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Hi Stafford,
Yes, diagnosis is definitely a shock. You have all my sympathy. I had a grade3 lobular (4.5cm) with 3 positive nodes diagnosed 17 years ago. Surgery, chemo, radiotherapy and hormone therapy and here I am healthy and well and about to head off to the Alps for 3 months skiing and walking. The treatments now are even slicker than back then, so have faith in the medical process. I was advised, at the time, not to have a CT as they show up a lot of extraneous things that are harmless but cause anxiety (so keep that in mind when you get the results).
You never quite leave the cancer diagnosis behind (hence keeping my eye on this forum) but you sort of incorporate it in your life and special times like Christmas and Birthdays become even more special. So make your Christmas a special one and live in the moment. You will be well supported by your medical team and BCN as you go through treatment in the coming months.
Sending hugs
Eily
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Thank you. This post has really given me a boost today. Hope you have a wonderful holiday x
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Hold this thought: You are in the worst period right now, the waiting game, with your mind running riot. It really DOES get better once you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan you will see some light. Try to enjoy the Christmas period and remember that you are special and far more than somebody who has cancer. Cancer does not define you, don’t let it take over. I can promise you that things will improve. My best thoughts.
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Thank you teddy, means a lot x
I’m sorry you are having a shitty time of it at the moment. I was diagnosed with lobular in July and every time they did anything, the diagnosis got worse. I had to have a CT and bone scan and was totally freaked out by it.
My GP said to me at the time that if I didn’t have any obvious symptoms of spread, that was a positive to hold onto.
I was so scared and felt like giving up. People said to keep busy, write down your fears, do what makes you happy and so forth, but it was a very dark place.
My CT and bone scans both came back clear - as has my recent one at the start of my treatment (that scared me too). I don’t think that fear is ever going away.
Since then, I have had a mastectomy, node clearance (lobular is sneaky) and am now halfway through chemo. with radiotherapy, letrozole, abemaciclib, bone injections and possibly a trial drug to go - so lots to come.
Now I am focused on chemo, it is still tough but other things take over and I am focused on looking forward most of the time.
You really are in the worst time at the moment - you are in the eye of the storm - but the storm will die down, and it’s good you have found yourself here. We will be here for you. xx
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Elly, this is a wonderful thing to read today, Merry Christmas and thank you for sharing your story!
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