Hi
My Girlfriend was recently screened because her cousin had been diagnosed. She was all clear but now her sister has also been diagnosed and is just about to undertake Chemo. My girlfriend feels terrible about asking them what type they have and for their genetic profiles, because of an overwhelming feeling of guilt about being all clear while the two people she grew up with are diagnosed.
I know if there was a high genetic risk she would immediately want a pre emptive mastectomy. My question is, would there be anyway for her to find out what type of cancer they have without having to ask them. I am almost certain it would be be patient confidentiality but she feels so bad about the situation, is adamant she will not ask them, even though I know they would have no problem with providing the information I thought it was worth the question.
Hope to hear your advice.
Thanks
Alex
Hi Alex and welcome to the BCC forums
It may help to call our helpline for guidance on this, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000, please feel free to call and talk your queries through
Take care
Lucy BCC
Alex,
Can understand your girlfriend’s feelings but think she should just ask her sister and cousin. While people respond differently to being diagnosed, most of the women I have come across actively want to help other women…and would most likely be really open to being asked. When going through cancer treatment you don’t always think of all the ins and outs since you are busy addressing what’s top in your mind or just getting through it. What I’m trying to say is her sister and cousin may feel sad that your girlfriend didn’t feel she could ask. Plus, the docs don’t automatically do the genetic test unless its asked for/made clear there is family history. As such the window for the test is around time of bc removal.
I think she should just ask. Perhaps try asking her how she would feel if tables were turned and her sister didn’t feel she could ask her…
Hope your girlfriend and her sister find their ways through it.
Seabreeze
Hi Alex, it’s really nice, and very supportive that you are here asking the question in a bid to help your girlfriend. It’s understandable that she is worried about her own future and any associated risks of breast cancer due to family history. Many types of Breast Cancer are not hereditary and it seems that more and more young people are facing a diagnosis these days - increasing our immediate exposure and awareness. I have a daughter whom is 12 years old and so the first thing I did was wonder about genetic factors, I’m fairly sure that both her sister and cousin will have thought about it at least fleetingly in the course of their minds whirring just because of the family circumstances right now. Maybe your girlfriend can drop a comment in passing ? “I was wondering if I should go to my GP and ask about genetic risks, what do you think ?” Involving them in the conversation would perhaps make it easier and give them opportunity to help her out…
Good Luck x
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