How are you all today? I wonder if any of you wrote about your experience? I was diagnosed in 2020, age 40, with stage 2 BC and obviously it turned my whole world upside down. I had started a memoir prior to this piece of news and once I finished treatment, I was spurred on to complete it. The problem I have now is that part of me still feels a bit ashamed about everything that has happened. Maybe ashamed is the wrong word but maybe disliking the entire experience (understatement) has made me not even tell friends about the book. Is that normal? I’d actually love people to read it as I think it will help people understand what it’s like to go through if they have a loved one who has been diagnosed. I think I’m afraid of people’s responses! Anyone out there felt the same? My lovely dad read it and I think it upset him and so my mum hasn’t read it. The memoir is weaved with humour and not all about cancer and I self-published so it’s an eBook (I did pay for professional editing to make it the best it could be). I’d love to hear your thoughts on this x
Seems to me that there’s no going back if you’ve published it. You have seen the impact it’s had on loved ones so, if you want people to read it and understand your life, I guess you need to harden yourself and accept that you cannot be responsible for how others react. It’s unpredictable. They may be distressed for you, your dad may have multiple reasons for being upset - fathers always feel they should be able to protect their children, don’t they? Age is irrelevant - you’re still his child. Perhaps the fact that your mother won’t read it has triggered an emotion that makes you feel insecure, maybe that you’ve done something wrong. BUT you’re an adult now, you’ve made a choice, presumably you’ve not written anything that might hurt other people. So go for it. There are lots of memoirs out there. You decided it was worth self-publishing so now it’s time to promote it more widely. But you will need a thicker skin. Friends may not want to read it because the distress of your illness was enough, they may think it’s time to move on (as if!). It may not compete well with other memoirs that have been professionally promoted. Just persist.
Be proud of what you’ve done - many would like to do it but give up because it’s an emotional minefield. You’ve got to the end product so promote it with pride! X