Hi,
I have posted on the July thread for chemo, but hoping to get talking to some girls of similar age/situation!
I’m 31, have a 19 month old daughter and was diagnsoed with BC at the end of may, I had been planning on trying to get pregnant this month, so the diagnosis combined with the realisation that my plans were no longer quite what I had anticipated was quite a shock!
I have had a WLE ( 2cm lump) and 1 node was affected, deep margin was involved but they can’t remove anymore, cancer is grade 3. Starting EC on Wed for 6 cycles followed by radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
Would love to go to the younger womens forum, but with chemo just about to start and a toddler it will probably been a bit difficult.
xox Claire
Hi Hazaa
I am Nona 35 years wz 2 kids 7 & 4 years old… I was diagnosed wz BC on 18 of April and I did my mastectomy on 25 of May… 1 cm cancer and 5cm precancerous lesion with 4 nodes positive… I started my first AC chemo yesterday then 3 more every 2 weeks then 4 Tax , radio and Tamoxfin later
hi hazza im 42 with 8 children i feel younger than 42 …well did .but sure i will after …i dont look my age either but if u looking for younger there is hannabanna in june thread she is 36? xx and she is wonderful xx
Hi quinny!
Think you said in the July thread that you were having chemo today, I hope it went ok, and you feel fine! and I hope you are managing to cope with all your kids, can some of them help you out?
Did you go for a cold cap?? My oncologist said they were a waste of time, but having had a chat to the chemo nurse, possibly having 2nd thoughts.
Went into the chemo unit for the first time today, for the initial chat, and broke down in tears, i haven’t cried in weeks about having BC, it all seems a bit too real now!
xox Claire
Hi
I was originally diagonsed in 2009 at the age of 31 with a 7 mth old, I remember how it felt to have to re think all of your plans. I also have ec chemotherapy, radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I tried the cold cap but was unsuccessful, I know it’s hard but you will get through it. A bit of a cliche but rest when you can, easier said than done I know but try. My little one is now nearly 4 and keeps me on my toes 
Hi everybody
Hi joanne,
Thanks for your message, I find it reassuring that there are people just like me that have got through this! I had been feeling a bit isolated, as none of my friends have been through this and hadn’t bumped into anyone my age at clinics etc.
What were the hardest bits of the chemo for you? Did you loose your eyebrows? ( I seem to have a fixation with loosing them, my hair I think I can cope with, but eyebrows I’m not so sure!). How much support did you need with looking after your baby? I am most worried about feeling too sick to look after her.
Sorry lots of questions!
xox claire
Hi Claire
I know what you mean about feeling isolated, my friends were great but couldn’t quite get it! I didn’t know anyone who had been through it and that was hard. I Did lose my eyebrows and eyelashes but that didn’t bother me too much and on the up side i didn’t have to shave my legs or underarms for a while:). I did have a lot of support, my husband works shifts so my parents helped when I had my treatment, more so I could rest if I needed to but i continued to do everything for my daughter and was never too sick to look after her, I’m not saying I never felt bad but in honesty she kept me going and still does. Don’t worry about asking questions, I just wish I had found this site when I was diagnosed.
Hi
I had BC when I was 32, my daughter had just turned 3. They do keep you going. I never felt too ill to look after her, and it also helps to take your mind off everything else…
I had chemo, and tried cold cap, but didn’t work. I lost my hair, think my eyebrows just thinned out.
My husband worked shifts then, and had family around for support. I was ‘lucky’ that my mother in law had also had BC, so knew what to expect.
She’s now 6, and I’m half way through tamoxifen/zoladex. 
Ruth xx
Hi,
Thanks ruth and joanne. Did either of you go to any support groups or counselling? When I go to clinics and treatments I keep looking around for people around my own age, and there never is.
You are right that friends are great, and that they just don’t get it! My mother in law was upset when I said I wouldn’t be freezing any eggs, I just couldn’t put myself through any extra treatments or delay the ones I was having, she seemed more upset that she wouldn’t be getting any more grandchildren, and not the health risks for me! ( Though not having or probably not having anymore children is probably the most upsetting part of this whole thing!)
Nona, wierd I didn’t see your post earlier. How are your LO coping with all of this? I’m on the July chemo thread too.
xox
Hi Claire,
Didn’t go to any support groups, and wasn’t offered any counselling.
I was 9 weeks pregnant when 1st diagnosed, had to terminate & start chemo within a week.
Is hard when friends/relatives having babies. But getting used to it now…
Am now on the waiting list for reconstruction, so if have that done, will definately be no more children. But we do keep thinking about adoption.
So much to think about. I was put in touch with 1 other person who was similar age when I was having chemo. Nice to speak to someone who understands it all - ups & downs…
Ruth xx
Hi,
I am 37, was widowed very suddenly 3 years ago, 4 days before our daughter’s first birthday, and when our son was 3. Got diagnosed with a grade 3 breast cancer on 2nd March. My kids are now 4 and 6, I also have 5 ‘step kids’ (me and my new partner are not married), aged 4, 6, 12 and 16 yr old twins (they are not all here all of the time) So far had 3 x FEC, then mid way scan, which showed tumour had shrunk a little, will have my 3rd and last of the Docetaxal tomorrow, then more scans on Friday, then meeting with surgeons the Tue after (my birthday - thanks guys for making me spend it in hospital! Grrrr.) to find out how much of my breast they’ll have to remove. Lymph nodes appeared negative, fingers crossed. Tumour is hormone sensitive, HER neg, so will be having radio after surgery, then 5 years of Tamoxifen. Lots of love to you all. Going crazy today. Too much happening! Need to KNOW NOW!!! :o(
Sorry, rant over.
Hi
Elke - Gosh you are having a tough couple of years! I guess when they decide on what they are doing, your surgery will come round pretty quick, it is so hard to wait for results and to find out what they have planned for you next.
I just keep thinking, they do this all the time, they are well practicsed and there are so many people like us. I hope you have good support especially with having the little ones.
Ruth - having to discover all this when you were pregnant, must have been heartbreaking I am so sorry that you were in this position,and glad you found the strength to get through it.
How long do you have to wait for a reconstruction? Did you have a mastectomy? Was it a choice or was it recommended? My surgeon said it was up to me, and having the surgery within a week I opted for wle.
First chemo tomorrow, so off to pack a bag of goodies
xox Claire
Hi Claire
Hope your first chemo goes ok today, sorry it has taken so long for me to reply but couldn’t get to a pc!! i did go to a support group, once, and vowed i would never go again as it was full of people a lot older than me, who talked about knitting and sewing!!!
Ruth - how hard it must have been for you at the time of diagnosis, selfishly i know what you mean about friends when they go on to have more people then say to me ‘it will be your turn next’ that really annoys me, wonder what their reaction would be if i told them the full story
Hi Claire, hope you’re okay today after your first chemo - what are you on?
Thinking of you, and all of you.
xxx
hi claire hope your chemo was ok .i had mine fri and im so glad to say i have coped really well with it minimal se i have shocked my self and for friends i dont think they will b my friends after cause i will b choosing a different path to go across without the ppl that say they will b there then as soon as you have the chemo they disappear no txts nothing .even said she would shave her hair with me !! i no ppl dont get what we goin thro but i would rather they didnt promise me the world .to upset me more xx love and huggs to everyone having treatment xxx
Hi Claire,
Hope your chemo went ‘well’?
I was diagnosed in Jan 09 and started 6 months of chemo, then wle, then mastectomy as results weren’t ‘clear margins’ after wle. Then had radio oct/nov. Was housewife, now working full time & enjoying keeping busy…
Due to work moved away from all family… so now on waiting list where living now - should be around Sep time??
Ruth xx
Hiya, I was diagnosed in march 2010 aged 36, with two little boys aged 4 and 2. We too were trying for another baby but that had to be put to one side as I wanted to crack on with treatment, it was more important to me to be around for the children I was lucky enough to already have rather than delay, but I have struggled with the whole fertility/more children problem and strongly feel that there is a whole person missing from my family. I started a thread to see how other younger ladies had got on with their periods through and after chemo, I’ll bump it up for you if I can find it on this new style forum. Most ladies your age do seem to get their periods back it seems, have a read and it may help you a little.
I remember the horror and shock of being diagnosed and it’s truly an awful time. But in my experience it does pass. The girls who I met through the forums are getting on with their lives and enjoying themselves again, and feeling like themselves again. I don’t think you are ever exactly the same person again but you come to feel at ease with yourself.
I hated the cold cap, I just felt like I was spending my time waiting to see if my hair fell out, so I only used it the first time and shaved my hair off at the end of my first cycle. I wore my NHS wig a bit but hated it. Later on I bought two lovely wigs privately and they were tons better. However, I only wore wigs when I felt I had to, the rest of the time I wore one cap from accessorise, though I must have bought about 30 caps, hats and scarves that I never wore!
My eyebrows hung in longer than my hair, but left around cycle 4 or 5. Eyelashes were similar. It felt like they took ages to grow back but in fact they didn’t when I look back. Losing my pubic hair freaked me out a bit, it was just strange to see myself without that hair.
I had a lot of help from my mum and sisters through chemo, and my husband was great too, though as he has his own business it was hard for him to carve time out. I was on a career break when I was dx so haven’t had to face a return to work. My boys seem to have forgotten what happened though I am sure questions will tip up in time as I haven’t hidden it.
Whereabouts in the country are you? If you can get on a local young women’s forum I would strongly strongly recommend it. Why not ask your bcn if there are other young women in your area going through this? I felt horribly isolated and like I was the freakoid in the waiting room. Everyone seemed so much older than me and were facing different issues than I was. My friends were lovely but simply didn’t have the first clue of the reality of what I as feeling or going through, and still don’t to be honest. I made a few fabulous friends of my own age on this forum who I have met with a few times, am still in frequent contact with and who I count amongst my best friends now. They live nowhere near me, but I couldn’t have done it without them. I also joined a thread on here with another group of ladies who were all ages and from all over the country/world! That helped me a lot too.
Get yourself on a look good feel better course ASAP,. You get a great goody bag of beauty products for free and meet other ladies going through treatment for all kinds of cancer. They teach you how to draw eyelashes etc on and to do your makeup to disguise the lack of hair a bit. Eyeliner and blusher will be your new best friends!
It feels like forever when you are going through it, but when you look back you will be so very proud of yourself for doing this for yourself and for your family. All the very best with your treatment. Let the odds forever be in your favour and let the side effects be minimal 
Such lovely, encouraging words everyone - thank you. I know I didn’t start the thread, but really need some (okay, LOTS OF!) glimmers of hope today - feeling so frightened; waiting for scans this afternoon after finishing my chemo last Monday (fingers crossed).
Love to you all, and thanks for being on here, helping us all.
Tears.
xxx
Hi all,
First chemo went ok, took 6 attempts to get a vein, so now my left arm looks like it’s been in a fight! Only a bit of nausea and sickness and the obligatory tiredness. Lucky mymum and dad staying with me for a bit. Really stressing about my daughter picking up bugs at nursery when immunity is low, but I guess I can’t do much about it!
Joanne, the names of some of the support groups are enough to put me off! Without even going to a meeting!
How do you feel know that the main bit of your treatment is over? I’m coping ok at the moment, but mainly because I’m actually getting active treatment, I’m a bit worried how I’ll be in years to come!
Tors thanks for message, good idea about asking Bcn about anyone else of similar age, no one has offered any advice on support group so glad I found this site.
Ruth- must have been a hard decision to move away from family, as I’m sure they were very useful when you got your diagnosis. September is not too far away, new boob in time for Xmas!
Elke - I’m on ec, not very many people on this site seem to be on this regime, hope it’s ok, though I think Joanne you said you had that too. Keep positive, they know what they are doing, let me know how your scans go.
Quinny - don’t get too upset about these friends of yours, yes some might not be as good friends as you thought, but maybe some just don’t know how to cope with your diagnosis. I have found that some friends who have not been in touch with me for months have been amazingly supportive, even just by giving me a ring, and others just don’t know what to say. I’m sure they will come though for you when you need them too!
Nona - how are you feeling after your ac?
Xox claire