I’m having radiotherapy and been feeling very anxious and emotional. I was reading through these posts as I think it helps to know you’re not alone (even though I feel very alone sometimes, as like other people have mentioned our family and friends are fed up of it and just don’t seem to get it) but good to know other people feel the same. However I read your post and it really made me laugh! When your consultant said “you can’t live like that “ I can just imagine a doctor saying that! And your response was so true “yes I can live like that “ I can totally relate to that. I just wanted to say I was feeling crap and you really cheered me up. It’s so reassuring to know we’re all feeling the same and we’ve all been to some dark places but it made me feel so much better knowing I can still laugh at this dreadful thing we’re all going through. Thank you so much 🙏🥰
Hi, thanks coincidentally I found this book in our local library, it has a lot of great advice. I'm going to buy it and work thru some suggestions. Also, just watched the BCN video on anxiety in the Moving On course. It was very helpful and answered a lot of my concerns. For example, why regular scans are not done unless there already are other symptoms.
Hi everyone - I just wanted to jump in on this thread as I too can really relate to what you all say, especially @Loocee comment in her last message. Someone on here recommended a book that I have found helpful “The Cancer Survivor’s Companion” by Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins. There is sadly no easy fix, but it does have some good ideas. Evie xx
Yes, I too feel anxious about recurring cancer and if I will miss it, especially if it occurs somewhere else. I think it’s normal. I joined this group to try to dispel these thoughts but can’t find any articles. I don’t talk about it except to other cancer survivors that I know and they feel the same way.
Hi, I actually felt similar to you. I mentioned it to a doctor on my consultants team - I wondered about having regular scans, he said 'you cant live like that'... iI thought 'yep I totally could live like that, least I would get regular reassurance!' Unless someone's been through it they dont really understand what it's like. But I think it'll gradually get easier.
Hi, yes I was recommended to read that report from Dr Harvey. I had to read through it several times it is moving and reassuring, and very helpful for friends and relatives to read.
I am right with you all on how you feel, finished all my treatment last March, I’m on tamoxifen for ten years. It’s coming round to check up time and it’s already constantly on my mind, and like you guys every niggle get me thinking the worst and I don’t know how to move in from that mind set, I have so many lumps and bumps from surgery and radiotherapy it’s impossible to tell if anything is different. I have never really dealt with my diagnosis I think I have boxed it up and tucked it away in the back of my mind I just powered through treatment but I still constantly think it’s going to come back.
Any advice on how you deal with these feeling would be great xx
I know what you mean about every niggle no matter where it is sets my mind wondering.
I had dcis and they told me they caught it time, had duel wire incision and before my surgery I was told both areas measured 6mm and 2mm but it turned out to be 80mm.
They keep telling me they got it all and only had 5 days of radiotherapy.
My boss thought I was just trying to get out of work after my reaction to radiotherapy .
I am now back at work and I get very emotional with things on tv about death and cancer.
I have my first check up in Jan 2022 and what if it comes back.
Hugs to all
I was told I am high risk for secondaries too and I feel like that phrase is just repeating itself in my head over and over all day every day. I hope that I will be lucky this time but then I think but you weren’t lucky last time.. it was cancer and it was two of the most aggressive types it could be so the odds aren’t good. I’ve found it has not helped my relationship either. I had to force my OH to read the talk given by Dr Peter Harvey the other day when he said yet another insensitive and hurtful thing. When I read it I was in floods of tears because it is so accurate. I can’t post a link for some reason but if you haven’t already read it I recommend searching for the talk by Dr Peter Harvey who is/was a consultant clinical psychologist in Leeds. It really helped him to understand what we are all going through.
I know exactly how you feel. Every day is a struggle and I've been told I'm high risk for recurrence so I'm really paranoid about everything now! My family have said to me 'you can't worry over every little thing'. I know they're only saying it for my own good but I say the same as you. Unless they've had it (not that I'd wish this on anyone) they don't understand. I've had a few scares along the way too, initially there were 'suspicious areas' around my lungs and stomach but turned out to be nothing and then I had to have a ct in February when they found out about my poor response to chemo. I was in such a state waiting for the results and even though it was clear, I haven't been able to pick myself up since. I'm always wondering when mine will return and where. I hope you can find a way to cope with your anxiety
i am exactly the same.from the minute I wake up which is a lot as I have insomnia my first thought is cancer. I have had all my treatment now and working from home at the moment. I have no idea when I will or if I will see my surgeon or breast care nurse. I just feel out on a limb xx
Totally understand everyone here especially how some think you can just move on like its never happened but you cant.
i finished in sept and yep have left over effects inc lymphodemea which i never had before.
the worse part is not thinking every new thing could be cancer and not worrying about what if i ignore it.
i hold onto the BCN advice - if it is new, different and persistent check it out but i also feel once u have had it, the scars of what you went through never go away.
hugs to all xx
I’m feeling exactly the same. I finished chemo in June, had surgery and radiotherapy and now on herceptin injections. But I’m just watching and waiting for anything and everything that might mean it’s come back or spread somewhere else. It’s the hardest part by far than having all the treatment, and with everyone else mostly just wanting to forget that it happened I’m finding family don’t want to discuss it. Understandable, I guess. I’m going to see if I can talk to someone who can give a bit of counselling I think.
I can totally relate to this feeling. Since finishing chemo in June last year hardly a day has went by that I haven't had some sort of issue - back ache, headache, dizzyness, bladder issues, breast pain to name a few. Pre cancer diagnosis I wouldn't have given any of these a thought however now I convince myself that its cancer. I have went to my oncologist/GP to get checked out and so far have been ok however I just wish I could feel normal and start to try and move on from this.
It's so frustrating when people who haven't had cancer seem to think that once you complete your treatment you go back to living life as you did before!
Anyone else struggling. Every ache, every pain, every niggle. My mind goes straight to “is it cancer”
my family all think it being over dramatic.
I want to scream until you’ve had cancer you have no idea.
I wish I could have a full scan to check.