I could be going under the knife very soon for brain mets and having 3 little ones I am putting together memory boxes.
I might not have a lot of time surgery might only be days away.
So far this is what I done…
Photo album for eack child and I’ve written comments next to each page.
A set each of our video and photos for the computer.
A good by card and letter.
I will sort them out each a item of clothing and I am doing a joint scarapbook/folder of my memories and things about me I would them to know.
I am looking for easy ideas that are not to time consuming…
I may have more time infact I intend to but being real it is an op to the brain.
will is in order, funeral wishes and the rest of my affairs.
thanks for taking the time to read this post and answer.
The following link will take you to some more resources which you may find helpful, the Winston’s wish charity provides support and information about memory boxes which I thought you may be interested in in particular. I hope this helps a little.
Don’t know how old your children are but would particularly recommend the “No matter what” book by Debi Gliori. It’s about a baby fox (Small) and his mother and her love for him. The recurring phrase is “I’ll always love you no matter what”. He asks a number of questions but the final one is about whether she will still love him when she’s dead. She shows him the stars and explains that some stars died a long time ago but “Still they shine in the evening skies. Love like starlight never dies”.
Amazon sell it but I believe the board book version is different and has omitted the last question, so go for the paperback one.
As Theresa has suggested, cards for key events might be good or even a small gift for them to open on (eg) their first day at secondary school or 18th birthdays.
Must be so hard putting all this together but hope that it is also helping in some ways. ANd really hope that the op goes well and you will have much more time to add to these memory boxes.
I really hope your surgery goes well and gives you plenty more time with your family, i would put in the boxes a lock of hair, my mum died 3yrs ago and wished i had some, even though i,m 48, and she was 79yrs,
Lornaxxx
Hope surgery goes well it must be a scary time for you.I wondered if you might want to leave some piece of jewellery specifically to each of your little ones.Perhaps take a photo of the item for the box and leave them in safe keeping of trusted adult for them to have later.
I hope your surgery goes well and that you in fact have lots more time to sort out memory boxes for your children.
Cant really help with the ideas, as am stuck trying to do 2 for my little ones, and not really got anywhere as such, partly cos I dont really know where to start and partly cos I cant get my head around doing it.
Lots of pics is good, perfume and any jewellry maybe for them.
I was thinking of maybe buying wedding day cards (long way off for mine), but maybe would be nice. So hard isnt it to think of doing things like this.
Take care and lots of love (sorry I am of no help here).
Dawn
xxx
hi, like the others , I really hope your surgery goes as well as it can and that you have lots of time to do your memory boxes. I have a little book where I write about special days/ memories, talk about my/ our favourite songs etc, for my little boy. I don’t do it regularly, but it only takes an hour or so when I get round to doing it. It is very hard though.
Thinking of you,
Nicky
First I wish you well, mate had brain mets too and I hope you like her will be able to show off your ‘wicked’ scars.
Not sure what you put in a memory box but things that will remind them of you and fun times. My aunt died when I was 9 and I used to spend hours with her while she sewed and to this day a pin on the floor reminds me of her that and the ice cream man coming round.
So I think ordinary every day things that the kids associate with you.
Could even be a bungy cord for the bike or ear plugs, love is odd its often not the big things that bring the smile of loved remembrance but the little things that say that was my mum.
Ehcoing the others, I hope that your surgery goes well and that you are soon back telling us so.
I’ve had an idea to nominate someone fun and creative to co-ordinate two memory books/boxes that are put together using comments, photo’s mementos, cards etc. that friends and family contribute. It can also be signed further at the funeral with comments and thoughts.
I also intend to also do my own memory scrapbooks with them, a sensory box and a special photo album too. Plus cards and letters. I also think often about writing a short autobiography but I haven’t done any of it yet! I’m a real photo fanatic and a hoarder so my life is well stored in pictures and boxes in the attick…
Best of luck Tess, with your operation. I hope it is successful and that your recovery is swift.
I have heard many people wish they could hear the voice of their loved one. Perhaps something taped for them, not necessarily deep and meaningful but just so they can remember your voice.
Take care Tess,
Jenny
x
P.S. Thanks for The Debi Gliori link, Kay, she rules the roost in our house at present so will definitely look out for this book.
I have ordered a couple of books and the ww memory cards and
hoping to go shopping later for gifts of jerwlery for the children.
Watches for the boys and a necklas for my daughter.
Pleas if I may encourge all of you to start something I have been in a horrid position and would not wish this panic or anxiety on anyone.
Hi, I don’t have any different suggestions for the memory boxes but just wanted to let you know that I had a craniotomy 15 months ago and I was surprised how quickly I felt normal afterwards. I came home 3 days after the op and recovered really well. I hope the same for you and that you’ll have plenty of time to do the memory boxes.
Hi Tess, I sorry I don’t have anything to add to the others ideas, but just wanted to send you my very best wishes and hopes that the operation goes smoothly and successfully. Thinking of you.
Hi Tess
I’ve got nothing extra to add to these suggestions but just wanted to wish you good luck with the op and hope your recovery is quick and it does the trick.
Nicky x
hi im jude and think i have some suggestions for your memory boxes
maybe a lock of your hair in a locket
if you wear perfume they could smell you and memories come flooding beck with smells ive lost my mum and sister and if i smell their purfume its great and brings back memories
lots of birthday cards especially the big ones 16 18 21 30 etc
hope that helps takecare jude
I’ve put a notebook in each of their boxes and written down anything that comes to mind, e.g. funny things they used to say (like snotrils for nostrils!)and particular friends thay had or games they played.Proud moments. Things a Mum would remember but not necessarily anyone else.
Also I’m a terrible hoarder and had kept a favourite book each. You know, the one they make you read over and over and over again.
And any baby items which I kept have gone in too.
Passing each of them a piece of my jewellery is a nice idea too, and will save arguments.
Best of luck for your op Tess, looking forward to hearing all about it
love Jacquie xx
Tess, I was quite touched when reading your blog…you have wonderful ideas. Please make sure that you leave a tape, video,or cd with your voice…I miss my mother’s and twin sister’s voices. They both have passed on from breast cancer. I pray for a miracle for you. Let us know how you are doing. Norma