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New and results on Thursday

33 REPLIES 33
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you Helena for sharing that with me and so pleased to hear you have reached the end of your rads.

 

I can imagine having your time controlled everyday could Get to you, I think that is the part I will find quite hard too.

 

Thank you for all your support since my first posting, it really helped me.  I've now posted on the newly diagnosed thread.

 

A x

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Ang

So sorry about your news. You and Maria are inspirational ladies - you have been through the awful and tortuous waiting and now facing up to the new plans ahead. Lows and wobbles are obviously expected and very natural - Ladybowler and Ann are wonderful advocates for positivity. Thinking about you guys ..

S
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thanks Ann, at least I know I'm not going mad being this calm about it! So pleased to hear the the tamoxifen is ok. I will no doubt have a few wobbles and lots of questions for all the lovely ladies on here x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Actually, Ang, I felt ok going through it all overall, some wobbly moments & one meltdown when delayed by a traffic accident when going for an mri scan.
Some aspects of treatment I oddly quite enjoyed, the relief day surgery to remove it & radiotherapy - as you get to know the team & others going through it at the same time.
I'm on tamoxifen now & have been fine on it.
ann x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thanks all.
Ann, I do feel ok. I think everyone is expecting me to crumble so I think I should be, if that makes sense! But I'm ok, the waiting was making more anxious.
Maria, I really do think we will both be fine, look at all the stories on here, and I do agree it is strange that you look the same and feel the same but you have something serious inside. We will support each other xx
Ladybowler thank you for your post, you fill me with positive thoughts and congratulations on your last rads, you must be absolutely over the moon. Can I ask, how did rad make you feel?
Thank you for all your support x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Sorry to hear that , but it sounds very postive . It is very surreal isnt it .ive been in like a auto pilot mode today had a split moment tonight when i forgot all about it .keep looking in the mirror thinking how i have something bad yet i really dont look of feel different health wise .im just hoping despite mine being grade 3 the stage wont be as bad .so scared at the thought of if it has spread so want to be here till my son reaches his 20s at least x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

hi Ang,
You are where I was early last year, but you do seem to be taking it in stride & there's no reason not to.
Inevitably, there are some wobbly moments, but thankfully it sounds like its been picked up early.
Its good the nodes were clear on US, I was told it was about 75% accurate.
So all should be quite straightfoward, my team were very reassuring about it all.
ann x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi
It wasn't good news, but not all bad. The lump they removed was cancerous, measured 3.4mm, grade 2 cancer. Pre cancerous cells are showing on the surrounding tissue.
So they will remove it all and take away 2 lymph nodes to check them. The US showed they were clear so he thinks they should be ok. If after surgery and margins are clear then next step will be radiotherapy and the tamoxifen for 5 years.
I was actually very calm when he told me as he said there are no gaurantees but I will be fine and nurse afterwards said if you had to get cancer then yours is a good diagnosis and I'm not going anywhere.
It's all a bit surreal but I do feel ok, I had a feeling it would be BC so was prepared and I just wanted to facts and how I could deal with it.
I've no doubt I will have a few wobbles along the way but feeling really positive.
I know this forum will help me as well.
Sorry for long post and hope it all makes sense, there is a lot to take in. I'm booked in on 6th Feb for surgery xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi ang , im hoping your ok and everything went well for you today .maria xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

I'm just about to leave for work (half day Thursday yay) and didn't want to leave without saying I'm thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for some positive news from your scan.

xxx

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you eastside .kind feel like im in some kind of auto pilot atm . .feeling shattered today but thats thank s to this cough .should be fun when i lay down for scan 😂
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thanks again, I just feel like i'm clock watching till my app. I off to the gym in a bit, so that will make me feel better. Just want the app over with:). Thanks for your posts, it really has helped x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Ang

 

just picked up your message. Something will kick in this morning and you get into some auto mode believe me. I think it is down to the natural fight or flight mode. I never got to the clinic too early - just on time  as the waiting bit was not good and I could control that bit of the process. I found that following recall and during  my biopsy results  appts there were less women there so it was a bit calmer. Thinking of you. 

 

S

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you East side. I'm really panicking tonight and up until now I had surprised myself with how calm I had been about it xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Maria
So sorry about your news - you appear to be facing up to this in a pragmatic way. Hope the scans and treatment plan are put in place quickly. Thinking of you

S
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Ang

Thinking of you tonight - tomorrow will soon be here and you will get through it.

Take care

S
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you ang .hope all goes well tomorrow x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Maria

I just saw your news in this other thread and replied. Sending you lots of positivity xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Looks like ill be here for a bit , bad news day .total shock to the system x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

I love a good musical! Will have to see it.

 

Sleep well ladies.

xxx

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Joe, if you like musicals, then for 2 hours of pure escapism go and see it. It took my mind off everything, I will dream of Hollywood tonight:) x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Enjoy La La Land. Let us know what it's like. xx

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Jo, brilliant, that's what I tell myself too:) x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thanks Ladybowler, believe me the positivity has only come from finding this forum, and it has stopped me googling. The amazing stories I've read have really helped as I haven't read anything negative which is amazing seeing what a lot of you are going through!
Maria, rightly or wrongly, I can only deal with it, expecting the worse and all that can happen is that I have a pleasant suprise on Thurs. Thinking of you too Maria and we can get through this, whatever the results bring us.
I'm off to the cinema tonight with friends that don't know, so hoping I can escape my thoughts for a couple of hours in La La land:) xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you ladybowler x Ang im very much like you in the sence im convincing myself worse case in the hope ill be prepaired if it is , but not sure ill feel like that if its bad news , my ds just keeps hugging me past couple of days so i know its worrying him already .unfortunately he is at the age where they have been taught about mammograms and such and there's no hiding things from him lol x i wish you the best for thursday
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi 

I'm new to all this too! I, like you, have moments of complete panic and want to hide away however this morning as I got out of bed I found myself saying "I'm not b****y well dead yet, get up, dress up and live" - daft I know but was the kick up the backside I needed. 

The support on here has helped me loads and I'm sure it will help you too. xx

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Such good advice from all of you and Helena you are so right - I need to get to Thurs before thinking about anything else. I will definitely be re reading your post when my mind starts to run away. Same as you, I will fight anything for my family and it sounds like you are doing an amazing job, you sound so positive, which is lovely to read. As for friends you are right, I would no doubt say the same thing in their shoes:).
East side, thank you and when I'm not in panic mode I do tell myself that a lot of ladies here did not have bc.
Maria, I really do know how you feel, the waiting is the terrible. I hope you don't have to wait too long for results. I find reading these posts and other threads has really helped calm me down and not letting me get too anxious. In some ways I can't wait for thurs and in other ways I'm dreading it.
Xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you ann for your reply , that's reassuring to know before my head went into panic mode more than it is x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi. Maria,

Thankfully you've had this seen to now, so you will get to the bottom if what it is.

It often seems the lump seems worse after investigation as the boob is bruised from the biopsy, it doesn't mean it's getting worse, also anxiety always makes everything seem worse, whilst waiting for results.

do let us know how you get on & come here & chat whenever you need to.

ann x

 

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi everyone . I originally went to docs back in june was told my lump was a hematoma and it should go in about 12 weeks and to go back if it didnt , walked out of there feeling like i had wasted the doctors time .lump never really altered and i got on with work and life , stupidly never went back feeling i had all ready wasted their time .that is untill two weeks before xmas a huge bruise covered the lump , so i went back and again doctor said she thinks its a Hemotoma but would refer me for scans .had mammo and ultrasound last week then the lady doing the ultrasound said the lump was hard so she would have to do biopsies there and then 3 samples from boob one from lymph node .lump seems worse since then waiting for result is so terrifying more because of my 12 year old son ..so wish i had been referred when i first went to doc in summer ..i hope you all get good results x
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi Ang

 

I had tissue removed during GA - but that did follow Ultra sound biopsies too which had come back as inconclusive. Everyone is slightly different - I can really empathise with you though - as my scare meant that despite inconclusive FNA - there was a chance that the BC was hidden due to how it was presenting on the mammo  and I wouldnt know until the results came back - a week after surgery. My surgeon removed quite a lot of tissue, giving wide margins just in case..... I can say it was the worse week of my life - not only with the physical stuff - but not knowing what was going to happen next. So I would say sometimes the order of how things happen arent the same and we shouldnt see that as something bad. Mine came back OK -  and I think it is important on this forum to reaffirm that not everyone has BC.

 

Let us know how you go, and take care

 

 

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Re: New and results on Thursday

Thank you so much Silverlady and Helena for replying.
At the moment, I know I may be in denial, but if it is BC then I'm not too worried about the treatment, I do not in anyway mean this to sound blasé. I'm far more worried about my children being left without me as I am sure everyone does. I also know I am about 100 steps ahead than where I am now, my mind races away with the what ifs, and I think some people think I'm mad:).
The only way I can deal with it, is to tell myself it is BC so when I go in for the results on Thurs, I'm prepared. I really hope that makes sense to you both.
Thank you for kind words, and I am sure I will be back in here today. It really does help to talk to people who know what the wait is like. I keep hearing 'worrying doesn't change anything' and 'try not to worry' from a few meaningful friends that do know. And I know this but I can't help it.
Thanks again, your posts are appreciated xx
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Re: New and results on Thursday

Hi Ang,

 

I haven't had my lump removed for a biopsy, although they did remove it when I had a mx, so they could analyse it further. 

 

The stage you are at is horrible, all the waiting for results.  Just because they haven't told you what they think it is, doesn't mean it is cancer. My US lady told me straight away, before they even did the biopsy that it was cancer, but they are still on the fence with you.  It could be benign and they just need to be sure before they tell you. 

 

The panic and fear is natural and every lady in here knows how you are feeling. Sending you big hugs and lots of luck for your results.

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New and results on Thursday

Hi all
Am new to this forum but been looking at posts over the past week.
I found a lump back in October and made a doctors app the next day, who assured me it was a cyst. The lump didn't change but I went back in Dec, just before Xmas and she referred me to the hosp.
On 30th Dec I went in and had mammo, I'm 40 and nothing showed up on this. At the US it was confirmed it wasn't a cyst but the scan man couldn't say what it was and 'was sitting on the fence'.
The consultant also said he wasn't sure but was unable to do a FNA as the lump was too near the surface and I was to skinny (!) for it to be done so he would remove the lump under GA. This operation took place last Monday (9th) and I'm going back on Thurs for my results.
I have to say I am absolutely convinced it is cancer as for years I've had a niggling feeling that I'm going to get it. I know I do suffer from health anxiety but I'm pretty good at dealing with it, apart from at night when I have gone to some very dark places.
The waiting is horrendous, I can't get it out of my head. I just want to be told so I know what I'm dealing with and get on with it.
The doctor did say the lump was small and the US showed under my arm was clear. I'm hoping that if it is the worse I've caught it early enough.
To begin with I was in a state and kept looking at my 3 young children imagining the worse. But after reading lots of posts on here I'm quite calm about it as now know it is no longer a death sentence but something I could beat. I've been good and not googled as know that would make me worse.
Every now and again I do have a panic that I'll have an incurable diagnosis!
All your posts have inspired me and are keeping me sane, especially at night when it seems the world is fast asleep apart from me:).
Any words of advice would be great and from anyone that had the lump removed instead of FNA as that has worried me a bit as everyone seems to have had a needle biopsy.
Thanks all:)