Hi @angela1234
Making a decision on reconstruction or not, and what type is very confusing. We’ve never had to do anything like it before, and your surgeon and family seem to be gently pulling you in different directions.
When you hear the advice, how do you instinctively feel? Do you lean towards having some sort of reconstruction or do you think you would be happy being flat? Have you seen any photos of the various options to give you an idea? It’s such a personal decision, there is “no one size fits all” here unfortunately.
Let’s have a chat about the various options.
No reconstruction: I haven’t looked, but I believe there are various Facebook groups for those who choose no reconstruction. You might want to contact them, or I’m sure there are chats on this forum too for those who didn’t go for a reconstruction. Let me know if you need any help searching. They will be able to help explain why they chose that option. You would be given a prosthesis to wear in your bra if you wanted that. I’m sure your husband and Mother are wanting the shortest simplest operation and recovery for you - which is of course natural and understandable - but it’s important that you explore whether it’s right for you too.
Reconstruction: I knew I wanted a reconstruction, and I knew I wanted the shortest recovery - in the end only my particular implant was suitable for me, so my choice was implant or staying flat.
Implant: Your surgeon sounds as if he is trying to talk you out of having an implant. I’m not medically trained so I don’t want to try to give any medical advice to you, but I would like to share my own experience and the advice I have been given and read on here, so I’ll use the numbering/comments you used:
1) cold and numb - it is correct that I don’t have much feeling in my implant, but it’s certainly not cold. It was slightly strange at first not having much feeling in that breast, but very quickly I stopped noticing and now I hardly notice that at all.
2) harder after radiotherapy - yes that is the advice I have heard and read, but not everyone suffers from that - @nickeyg123 and I didn’t (touch wood).
3) non matching - mine don’t match, but they are close enough and you would never know under clothes. I’m quite small chested, and my implant is more round, and slightly bigger than my real one. I use a foam breast form over my real one to even things out. It really depends on your priorities. Some people want a much closer match, so a tissue recon would be for them.
4) replacement - I would encourage you to get a second opinion on the advice of “2-5 years replacement” as I have never been told that or read that on here. I’ve had mine about 5.5 years and I think I was told that it should last about 10-15 years, possibly longer. I think I’ve also read similar on this forum. Of course not all last so long, some harden or have to be replaced or removed for other reasons, but I really don’t think people would have implants if they knew they would face an operation every 2 years.
Diep - I wasn’t offered this option so didn’t explore it in as much detail. I do know it has a longer operation and recovery time, but both of these are probably worth it in the long run if that is the option that you think is best for you.
Conclusion - I have tried very hard to be neutral on the options, but re-reading I probably sound as if I am pushing you towards the implant option! I do apologise if I have. I am more than happy to chat as much as you like about the options, until you start to get a feeling for what will suit you best. Sometimes just writing things down can help, so please do come back and chat more or ask any more questions.
Evie xx
