Hi Tessie86, I’m so sorry to read this as you’re such a young girl Hopefully the hospital will come up with treatment plan and once you’re actually on the way you’ll feel less numb. I totally get where you are with this…I’m 57 and went to docs with headache….but ended up diagnosed with bc. My sister was with me; we were both so shocked and kept saying to each other “are we thick ?? We aren’t reacting how we should be”. I think your mind and your body will protect you as much as it can and you’ll find the way to handle it in your own time; there’s no right or wrong way….we’re not all the same. I’ve gone into full on ostrich mode; the hospital will give you loads of bumf to read… read it if you want to/ ignore it if you want to….do what makes you feel happy. There’s so much info out there but sometimes the info isn’t helpful so just remember that. Take every day as it comes….keep a diary and write down your thoughts or start a blog ! Your “journey” (and am I sick of hearing that word !!!) will steer you in lots of directions……shock/ denial/panic/anger/numbness…Hospital have been amazing with me so fingers crossed they will with you Just take every day as it comes ! The hospital said to me the other day “this is your new normal for the time being”….Very true but I’d prefer my old normal please 
. Reach out to people who help you and don’t forget your mum and dad……they will have such a mixed bag of emotions too and you’ll always be their little girl. Good luck and don’t lose track of where you were before xx Sam