I am 27 years old with a 4 and a half month old baby and have just been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer! I had a lumpectomy and lymph node removal 2 weeks ago and am due to start chemo the beginning of July!
I was wondering if anyone is in a similar position having a baby or young child while dealing with all of this, in particular during chemo? Would love to hear from you or anyone for that fact, especially if you have any tips for the chemo and how I can try and fulfil my role as a new Mummy as best I can!
Sorry to see you’re here, but glad you found us. What a shock for you, especially with a little one.
There are certainly others here with children, who will be along to share their experiences, there’s loads of support here.
Do look at the ‘going through treatment’ part of the forum, where you will find the monthly chemo threads, where you will be able to chat & get support from others going through a similar stage of treatment.
There is also the ‘younger women & families’ section, although that can be a bit quieter, as most women who are newly diagnosed, tend to hang out in the ‘newly diagnosed’ section.
Although of course, you’d rather not have to go through this, but thankfully, it as been diagnosed & can now be treated.
Like Ann said, I’m sorry that you’ve found yourself here but glad you’ve found the Forum.
While you’re waiting for responses on here, I just wanted to let you know that one of our email volunteers called Zahida had a one-year old when she had her diagnosis and chemotherapy (she was triple negative as well). You can email her at zahida@breastcancercare.org.uk
Or if you’d like to chat to someone over the phone who’s been in a similar position, feel free to call us on 0345 077 1893 and we’ll match you with a volunteer to chat to.
I’ve got a 7 week old baby and got diagnosed with grade 3 triple negative breast cancer 2 weeks ago and just started chemo. I’d love to chat and share experiences!
I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but thank you so much for getting in contact! Did you have a little boy or a little girl? I hope baby is doing well and letting you get some sleep!
Can I ask how old you are? And is this your first baby or do you have any other children as well?
I started my chemo recently too, on the 6th July (I am having 4 x EC on a 3 weekly basis to begin with). How did your first session go?
Oh bless you, at least you have your little girl finally! Makes her even more precious! She will be your strength to help you get through this! I know having my little boy around has helped enormously!
Pleased to hear your first EC went well and you are coping ok so far! I have been the same thankfully, am hoping the next one is similar to! My next one is on the 27th, when is your next one?
I hope you don’t mind me asking but was it your decision to have chemo first or did your team decide that for you, or was it just that chemo was available to start sooner than having surgery first?
I’m sure the chemo will do it’s job and then the surgery will be there if needed to remove whatever is left if anything at all.
Did you notice your lump while you were still pregnant or was it after you gave birth you became aware of it? I found mine after, I think when my breasts shrunk back after I stopped breastfeeding that’s when it became apparent something was wrong! I felt so stupid for not noticing anything sooner!
Aww bless you, you are doing a great job! They are difficult at that age as they don’t have any kind of pattern or routine yet and the only way to tell you they want something is to cry! Give it a few more weeks and you will know before she does what it is that she needs/wants next! They grow up so quickly, I’ve only got a couple of weeks and then it’s time to start weaning my little boy!
How funny we are on the same day! I think mine is a morning appointment this time, how about you? Do you know what you are having after your 4 x EC?
I’m not sure how I feel about the hair! I have had short hair for years now and I have had 2 haircuts since finding out so have gone even shorter each time so am hoping it is not too much of a shock for me. I have a wig ready and waiting as well which I am very pleased with so that is making it less daunting for me. How about you?
Yeah I noticed the lump when I started expressing colostrum just before she was born… they didn’t really investigate until about 5 weeks later though because they thought it was just caused by lactating changes in the breast or mastitis.
They probably would’ve told you the same if you noticed anything while still breastfeeding so don’t beat yourself up about finding it sooner!
I’m just glad it’s just the one breast and one lymph node and nothing else, I was so scared waiting for my PET/CT and MRI results that it had spread everywhere!
I’m doing 4x biweekly EC then 12x weekly paclitaxel, what about you? I just hope I can recover quickly enough to stick to this schedule! I’m in the morning as well on the 27th but I’m doing the scalp cooling as well which means it will take all morning!
Are you still on maternity leave? I had planned to be on mat leave until the end of this year anyway so at least I don’t have to worry about work for now, I’m also lucky to have some other mummy friends around and they’ve all offered to babysit when I need to go to hospital so that’s good because my husband can’t take a lot of time off work unfortunately.
I am having the same drugs as you but I think timings may be different. My EC is every 3 weeks. Not sure about the paclitaxel yet as I might be having another drug along with it, depending on my genetic testing results!
Yes I am still on maternity leave, wasn’t due to go back until next year anyway but had not planned to spend my time off like this!
That’s good you have plenty of friends around to help? Have you got family close by as well? We are lucky that all our family live no more than half an hour away so have had plenty of help from them, along with friends to.
I am having a port fitted on Monday. Have you got one or a picc line or something else?
Yeah I know what you mean, maternity leave is meant for you to enjoy life as a family and enjoy your baby, instead I’m spending lots of time in hospital!
My family all lives in the Netherlands and even though it’s only a 45 min flight away it’s hard that I can’t see them so much now. At least my twin sister is coming over to the UK for a week for my next chemo session.
I’m also still waiting on genetic test results but they didn’t tell me anything about changing treatment if I’ve got the BRCA gene, do you know what would change for you if you’ve got it?
How strange! It was a no brainer to have a port rather than a picc line for me!
Where abouts in the country are you?
I’m sorry to hear your family are further afield but great your sister is coming over to see you soon! That will give you a boost and something positive to look forward to! Has she met your little girl yet or will this be the first time?
When did you have your test done? I had mine done on the 4th July. It’s just such a long wait to get the results which makes it even more nerve racking! I wish they had done it right at the start!
My oncologist said that if it was the BRCA gene they would add another drug alongside the paclitaxel. I can’t remember what it was called, something beginning with P and I believe the genetic counsellor said it was some sort of platinum based drug? I think she discussed it then so I could sign the consent form for it to be added in if required, rather than having to go back again and sign a separate form for it.
Do you have any family history of breast cancer or any other cancer? No one in my family has had breast cancer and the only other cancer there has been in the family was down to lifestyle factors (I lost my Dad last year to lung cancer but he had been a heavy smoker for years and years!)
They didn’t even give me the choice between the port and picc line but from what I know a port is much better.
I’m in Surrey (Guildford), what about you? It’s nice that we’re close to Gatwick and Heathrow so that family can get here easily.
My sister has met Ellie once already but that was just after she was born and she’s grown so much since so it’s nice that she’s coming again even if the circumstances are not great this time!
I’m not actually sure they’ve done the genetics test yet…I was going to get it done privately and they’ve sent blood for it but then my insurance said they won’t pay for it so I’m trying to figure out now if the NHS can pay for it or whether I need to do it again on the NHS!
Ok I’ll ask my oncologist about this additional drug because if it helps I want it as well! My mother died of breast cancer 28 years ago but never got tested for the gene so there is a significant chance I’ve got it as well.
Do you get scared sometimes? I’m generally coping ok but couldn’t sleep last night and just kept thinking about what if the chemo doesn’t work? What if the cancer spreads and I die and leave my husband on his own with our little girl? Scary thoughts…
Oh I know Guildford, I have family there who I lived with for a year! My husband went to uni there as well! I’m in Kent, (Canterbury) so not that far away!
That’s confusing about the genetics test, you should definitely chase that up!
So sorry to hear about your Mum xxx
Yes it is scary and I have felt a whole range of emotions over the past couple of months! I have been given the contact details of a counsellor by my cancer nurse so am thinking I will arrange something with them soon. Perhaps you can ask your nurse for a contact if you think that might help? It’s always worth a try to see!
Good luck with the port fitting tomorrow, I will let you know how mine goes as well! My appointment is at noon XxX
Sorry for not replying sooner, I was at the hospital for ages yesterday! Port is in, that doesn’t seem too bad but the incision in my neck is quite painful and I’m struggling picking up my son as well! Hopefully it will pass in a couple of days!
Have you got your blood test tomorrow? Did they say if you can use your port straight away? I have mine and I think they said it can be used but they will need to redress it again for me! We will see how it goes! Fingers crossed blood is ok for me to proceed on Friday! I can’t believe 3 weeks have passed already, am not looking forward to the next one only because it is supposed to be 29 degrees that day!
Yes I loved Guildford when I was there, I think because it was very similar to Canterbury though! Everything is on your doorstep!
No I don’t take my son with me as it says on the ward no children are allowed. We have arranged it so my husband comes with me and a family member/s look after my son. As you said, at least your sister will be there so if your little girl needs something she can be on hand. Hopefully in this heat she will just sleep through while your there!
Yes mine has been itchy too! But like you said it is probably from the heat! Can’t wait for them to take the dressing off tomorrow just to get some air to it! My neck has felt much better as well and am able to move it around now!
I was told someone would call me if any problems with my blood results, so as I haven’t heard anything I’m assuming I’m all good to go ahead tomorrow. Did you have yours done ok today? I hope yours were alright to!
Aww that’s so nice for you, I hope you have a lovely meal together!
What time is your chemo tomorrow? I’m up at 10:15am, which is earlier than last time (I was at 1pm for my first one) so gets it done and dusted at least! Am hoping the thunderstorms happen tomorrow afternoon/evening! Can’t take this heat any longer, without adding any chemo side effects to it as well!
How are you doing on the hair front by the way? Mine has been falling out but no bald patches yet so hanging in there! Will probably shave it off soon though as it is making quite a mess!
Anyway, all the best for tomorrow, hope you don’t feel too bad after! Let me know how you get on if/when you can?
Glad to hear yours went well and you are doing ok! I was pretty much the same as you to! My treatment was delayed for an hour though as they were running behind so was there a bit longer than planned!
Yes I have heard of it as my oncologist recommended I give it a go so I agreed to try it. I had the first injection 4 days before my first treatment, and I have got my next one on Monday! I’m surprised they didn’t mention it to you, when is he back from holiday do you know? Could you ask the cancer nurse about it perhaps?
No I didn’t bother with cold cap in the end! I had some severe hair loss today so have just got my husband to cut it now! Feels so much better, I wish I had done it last week now, would have coped far better in the heat! Will be giving my wig it’s first outing tomorrow I think! Need to go to the shops to buy some veg as we are starting weaning with my little boy! I hope Ellie is doing well, how did she get on at the hospital with you and your sister?
Hope you continue to feel alright tonight and get a good sleep!
Did you manage to speak to the nurse today about the injection?
Sorry to hear you have been feeling a bit rough. I think the disrupted sleep with the little ones doesn’t help! I have felt a little nauseous but then found that actually I was hungry and once I’d eaten something and had a drink I felt much better. I’m struggling to keep on top of drinking enough though!
Wore my wig to the doctors today and was really pleased with it! Felt very comfy and didn’t blow away so all in all was a success! How is your hair doing with the cold cap treatment?
Have you got a catch up meeting with your oncologist soon or is he still away?
How are you? I hope you have had a nice weekend! Sorry for my late reply to, the past few days seem to have flown by!
That’s good news that you have had a period! I still had a period after the first zoladex injection, about 12 or so days after, and asked about this and they said I shouldn’t have anymore now that I have had my second one. Fingers crossed they sort it out quickly for you when they both get back and hopefully it will be in time! When is your next chemo session?
Did you ever find out anymore about what is going on with your genetics test by the way?
How has the nausea been? I hope it has eased up for you now! Sorry to hear your gums are sore, did they prescribe you with any mouthwash or anything? If not you should definitely ask as I’m sure there is something they can give you to help with this! Other than that though, it sounds like you are fairing up well again this time round, especially as you are attempting exercise! Very impressive!
I was wondering, has anyone discussed with you what monitoring you will have after all your treatment is completed? If so, do you know what it is you will be offered? I am just curious to know what other trusts offer for a comparison!
Hi LittleA
I’m under East Kent Hospitals & went to all 3 local hospitals for investigations & diagnosis, purely on getting the quickest appointments for each stage.
I finished treatment just over 2 years ago & am on a 5 year follow-up. This includes a yearly mammo & an appointment with the surgeon. I did not need chemo, so was discharged back to the surgeon for the 5 year follow-up. Others I know, remained under the oncologist for 5 year follow up.
Don’t know if this is any help, but I’m in the same area.
ann x
