I’m so sorry to hear your news as well @bosley But really glad to hear you have your surgery soon - I’ll bet the last couple of months have been such a wait.
Sending you positive thoughts for your operations and recovery. Please keep us (me) posted and I hope your family are doing ok too. My kids are the same age so here if you want to talk re anything.
It’s also wonderful that you’ve felt so supported by the breast care nurses / Macmillan. I already have mental health issues (largely anxiety, which I take medication and have done therapy for) so have been referred to the psychological support team at my hospital. And have already made several tearful phone calls to my breast care nurse!
Thank you for you advice and I really appreciate you connecting - it has made me feel a little less lonely tonight
I’m sorry you’ve also recently had such a tough time and hope you are recovering well yourself. I’m also happy to hear your children did ok. It’s really comforting for me to hear that your kids were resilient through this process - my 8-Y-0 is a sensitive soul so I’ve been concerned.
You make a good point, also, re not really knowing what’s what until the pathology. I’m finding it confusing whether the size given is both the IDC and DCIS, or just the IDC.
And I just can’t get my head around how a 6cm - 60mm - tumour has been missed in my average breast by me, a doctor exam and a mammogram in less than a year I have been told it’s ‘long’ in shape.
Also, I forgot to say my tumour is ER / PR +, HER2-.
Hi @tori123 - I’m so sorry to hear your news I can imagine with a just 3-Y-O it must be very tough.
It also sounds as though you really aren’t having a positive experience with your medical team. I haven’t tried them yet but I’ve heard - and others on this thread have pointed out - that the Macmillan nurses are an excellent support.
I hope your MRI goes as well as possible and things then start moving for you too. Keep us posted.
BTW, if you haven’t had an MRI before the thought is way worse than the actual experience. Though I really would recommend getting any piercings out in advance as you really can’t have any mental on/in whilst having it. I was attempting to wrestle a tiny, inner ear piercing out I’d recently got with a friend for her 40th, before they’d let me in the machine!
I’m glad we’ve all found this thread - and speak again no doubt
I have just been reading through the recent messages. I wanted to say that I have found this forum so helpful.
I have found this journey emotionally very hard so far but it is helpful to be able to hear about other people’s experiences. I was diagnosed in December with er+ pr+ her negative grade 2 IDC and what I was told was 4mm of DCIS. It turned out to be 12mm IDC and then 20mm of DCIS. It was in my right breast but a complete shock as I had previously had issues with my left breast and just 3 months earlier I had had a normal MRI , mammogram and ultrasound of both breasts.
Since then I have had a lumpectomy , radiotherapy and have been on Tamoxifen for about 4 weeks. My personal experience so far is that I haven’t had any significant side effects from any of the treatment.
However, my consultant wants me to try ovarian suppression with Zoladex- which will put me into a chemical menopause so that’s probably my next step.
I have a 6 year old and an 8 year old and really resonate with everything every one has said about young children.
I’m so sorry to read about the difficult time you’ve been having. After being given an all-clear just three months prior it must have been a huge shock.
I hope you have a strong support network around you and have had a positive experience with your breast care team.
I am interested to know more about how you’ve found Tamoxifen. Ovarian suppressant hasn’t been mentioned to me but I’m also premenopausal - would you mind sharing your age?
I am 42 and also premenopausal. The Tamoxifen has been fine so far- I have been on it for 4 weeks. I have had some mild acid reflux ( which I am prone to and think has been triggered by the Tamoxifen). I also find I have some very mild aches which I think could be down to the Tamoxifen. In addition I think it has had a bit of an effect in my anxiety but I suffer with this anyway and it’s hard to know if the Tamoxifen has made it worse or if it’s just the situation.
Ovarian suppression was only suggested after my oncotype score came back at 17. I am quite nervous about it.
Hi all, I fint think there are very recent posts here but wanted to reach out. I’m 46, diagnosed with stage three. I haven’t had any treatment so far, having scans fine in next two weeks and I am absolutely terrified. I have three children and I just want to stay around for them. Watched the Amy Dowden documentary this evening. Amy had stage two and just watching her journey, I feel completely overwhelmed and even more terrified. Xo
Hi Sam. I am sorry you find yourself here. The best thing about this group is that you are definitely not alone I think and hope you will find others in a similar position to help you through.
I am 44 and was diagnosed 11 months ago. I also have 3 children. I don’t know what Stage I was as was never told but I know lots of women at different stages and they all have had very different journeys…but…please know that breast cancer is one of the most researched cancers and the treatments are varied, many and have improved so much even in the very recent past. I have a good friend who was diagnosed with a Grade 3 just over 2 years ago. She hasn’t had an easy road but she is doing so well. The cancer is long gone and she has just had her 2 year ‘all clear’. She is 45 and has 3 kids too.
I would highly recommend that you avoid google as much as possible (easier said than done I know!). Try and stick to the reputable and reliable sites like Macmillan, Cancer Research UK and Breast Cancer Now of course. Would also highly recommend you look up Dr Liz O’Riordan. She is a breast cancer surgeon who has had breast cancer 3 times (!) and she does some brilliant podcasts and videos online which are frank, honest and really helpful. Lastly for now I would get in touch with the team at Breast Cancer Now and ask about their ‘People like me’ team. They will match you up with someone in a similar position who is a little further down the road and it may help to get some advice and reassurance.
I was petrified when diagnosed. My heart has never beaten faster than it did waiting for my results. This is not the curveball you need when you are at this stage of your life, not that it would ever be welcome, but you can and will do this! Lots and lots of love to you xxxx
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your reply. I just dropped my 10yr old son to his first day back to school and cried as soon as he was out of sight, the thing I’m most s seed if is not being here for my children. I will definitely look up the things you have suggested. It’s so hard to know how to approach this journey. Thank you again. Much love xo
I totally agree with you. It is strange how clearly the fear is more for others that you love than yourself. It is a lot to process but the good news is they have picked up on it and now you can fight it. As soon as your team can give you a clear plan you will feel better I promise. It is all the unknowns that take your mind to dark places. Most women in your shoes get better and there is no reason you can’t too
I hope so I’m definitely finding it difficult to be upbeat or to look forward to things because I’m dreading what I’m going to be told following scans and how treatment will go. I just want to get out the other side of it. It’s nice to hear positive stories for others going through this- I’m clinging onto things like this. I hope you are doing well xo
I just looked it up and I don’t think I’d say the documentary is for breast cancer survivors or those currently fighting breast cancer. It will be informative for those who don’t have breast cancer so that they can see that it’s not just pink ribbons and t-shirts. In saying that, yeah, I’d see why you are terrified. Too much, too soon.
I will say remember that Amy’s battle was her own. Her battle wasn’t mine. I had chemo, too, but it was four sessions and went by quick to me. I wasn’t stage 3 so I didn’t have to have as much treatments. Shoot, most breast cancer survivors don’t even need chemo. I was one of the “lucky” ones but then I’m also glad that I had another medication to take that they thought would be beneficial. And I would add that in just over two years, you’d look at me and never know what I’d been through. Hair is long again, passed my shoulders, weight is stable and my figure is better than before cancer, skin despite being in menopause looks really good for my age, and most importantly I look and feel healthy (well not at the moment since I have pneumonia but the antibiotics are working quickly Take this one step at a time. Don’t look toward the future and just really try to be in the present. Today you can do what you need to do to beat this thing and when you go to bed you can be satisfied that this was a good day because you did exactly that. And then when it’s all over you can look back and see the remains of the magnificent battle you fought and won one day at a time.
Thank you- that is a very encouraging outlook. I do tend to jump to worse case scenario by default. I feel absolutely consumed with this. U keep getting discomfort in upper right abdomen and I have myself terrified incase it’s my liver. I have CT scan this Saturday and I’m dreading it. I do feel really tired at min but I don’t know how much of that is the cancer and how much is me stressing! It’s really helpful to have this forum, it nudges me back to a place of less panic. I don’t think the documentary was a helpful watch for me.
That’s amazing that you are looking and feeling so good- long May that last . I have worried about how I will look going through treatment but at the end of the day- if I can get out the other side I will be thrilled. Much love xo
I jump to worse case scenario by default, also. It made the waiting process something akin to what I can only describe as torture. I lost like 15 pounds through it all. I will say don’t hesitate to ask for help. Xanax can be a life savior in moments like these. My doctor prescribed me 30 pills so that I’d have enough until treatment started. I think I only used like four but I was so grateful that I had them for when I just couldn’t calm down.
And stress causes sleep. I think I spend half my days curled up the fetal position on my bed just trying to nap the horrific stress away. That does go away once you know some answers and can start treatment.
Absolutely, I’ve just taken a diazepam and sleeping tablet as I have really struggled this evening. I’d love to be able to sleep my way through this whole horrible ordeal, wake up and discover it’s all sorted and I can get on with life!
I started reading a book about things that the author has researched and thinks may in some way help people with cancer (no concrete evidence mind you). It helps to distract me for a bit and I’ll maybe try to incorporate some of these theories into my life- it couldn’t do any harm and might help me focus. I’m not very far into it but it’s talking about diet.
It’s hard to think positive with a default characteristic in our personalities such as jumping to worse case scenario. We’ve got to try Xo
I’m 41 and was diagnosed in February when I was 13 weeks pregnant. I had stage 3 and it was in all my lymph nodes. It’s a very scary road. And I would try and focus on one step at a time. I have had surgery and started chemo which I need to resume after I give birth. I also have a 3 year old and at the start I was so scared of not seeing them grow up but trying to focus on the positive and that the treatment is aiming to stop it coming back and to live as long as I can. X
It is. I will say though that this debacle for me at least finally trained me to live in the present so that I don’t look for things anymore to ruin my life. It’s been life changing. I hope the same for you.
Oh my Rosa, pregnancy can be challenging enough when things are going well! You are a very strong woman was the surgery a success and do you know how much chemotherapy you can expect to have? Life can be so bloody cruel. I hope you find the strength to stay positive and feel comfort with the wee life growing inside you and the little 3yr old, I’m sure you are number 1 for them! I went to my son’s teacher today to ask that he keeps an extra eye on him as things progress. I burst into tears as soon as I sat down. We need to try to be strong for these beautiful wee souls we have created- God knows I’m struggling. I’m trying to get my crying guts out of the way when mine aren’t around. You are amazing-your body is working so hard on so many levels. I’m sending lots of love. Always here for a chat. Thank you for your inspiring message xo
You are so right. I’m a stressor by nature. I’d worry if I had nothing to worry about! Having said that, this diagnosis has really made me wonder why I’ve spent so much time sweating the small stuff or creating problems for myself purely from an overactive mind! If I can take a positive out of this- I want to stop sweating the small stuff, be present and grateful for everything good that I have xo
@sam3 ive been told I will have 3 more months of chemo so only half way through treatment. Luckily surgery was a success but had to have a mastectomy without reconstruction which took a bit of time to adjust to the changes in my body but now it just feels normal to me. Thank you. I try and be as strong as I can but it’s definitely not easy.
But really glad to hear you have your surgery soon - I’ll bet the last couple of months have been such a wait.
I have been told it’s ‘long’ in shape.
I think and hope you will find others in a similar position to help you through.
xo
I’m definitely finding it difficult to be upbeat or to look forward to things because I’m dreading what I’m going to be told following scans and how treatment will go. I just want to get out the other side of it. It’s nice to hear positive stories for others going through this- I’m clinging onto things like this. I hope you are doing well 
Take this one step at a time. Don’t look toward the future and just really try to be in the present. Today you can do what you need to do to beat this thing and when you go to bed you can be satisfied that this was a good day because you did exactly that. And then when it’s all over you can look back and see the remains of the magnificent battle you fought and won one day at a time.
. I have worried about how I will look going through treatment but at the end of the day- if I can get out the other side I will be thrilled. Much love xo