advice

Hi Lesley and Mam,
Bit of a rubbish day for me, l was hoping for results, spoke to the bcn yesterday, told me she was sure the results would be in, when l arrived for my appointment, they said they did not have the results, so another week of waiting!! l could have cried (did when l got outside) so l just had the stiches out and sent on my way. feel so down, one step forward and a dozen backwards! The results are to tell me if l need a third op or l can go forth for chemo!! guess which one l want?
Anyway Mam and Lesley what can l say, we all know about the waiting game and the dreaded results! it is never going to be easy, the words l am starting to dislike comes to mind, ‘stay positive’! laughable!
When you get the results Lesley, try and be strong for your Mam, give her a cuddle and then ask ‘ok what do we do next’ I can understand your Mam not being keen on chemo, no one would be, but if it helps in anyway, then go for it, you can but try, you may be one of these people that seem to glide through it, and if you feel you want no more of it, then that is your choice too. But give it a try, a friend of mine sailed through and kept working, so who knows, we are all different
Be thinking of you both,
Keep us posted
Love and Hugs to you both
Sandra xxx

OMG that is so s*** for you! another week? whys it taking so long?if i were you i would ring them everyday! your right tho.just stay positive and go with the flow.
I was annoyed that they didnt tell us much infomation on the previous appiontment for example they didnt tell us what stage it was at or how many nodes were affected when they did the op. I got dad to ring the cancer helpline…just for advice really, he ended up telling the lady about it and the next thing we know the BCN was on the phone(she was based in the same hospital and she had got in touch with her) and she told us its stage 3, and 4 out of 13 nodes were affected, i just hope it hasnt spread further, its bad enough being stage 3. i dont know whether it would help to ring a cancer helpline…you might have already done it,but apart from coming on here, i find it nice talking to them x x

Hi everyone… its good news, the cancer hasnt spread, yes i know its grade 3 and its aggressive but at least there is hope now, im so happy, we have still got a long way to go but at least its gave mam something possitive we have to start the chemo asap x x x

Hi Lesley and Mam
So pleased you got the results you wanted, makes you think there is life after cancer!
Must be a big weight off your minds? Hopefully they will start chemo very soon!
Yes it will probably be tough going, but at least you have been given HOPE, what more could we ask for.
Well Mam, you will probably be starting your chemo before a few of us, so you can tell us all about it, as you go along your merry way, let us know any good hints you get as to how to deal with it, what to eat and what to stay away from!! Hope Lesley is going to help you pick a nice wig!
Happy sunny days to you both
Love
Sandra xxx

Thankyou for your kind words,
yes all i wanted was a bit of hope and weve got it, we have disscused the wig and we are going to go this weekend whilst she still has hair cos ive been told that she will be able to get the bast match, i will keep you informed about whats going to happen, and i wish you all the best for your results and hope you will be on your way for treatment soon too x x keep me informed! and ill be checking everyday if you need a chat or a moan, im here for you! love and Hugs x x x x x x x x x x x

Hi Lesley and Mum, This is the first time I’ve been on this thread and I just wanted to add some words of support and encouragement for your lovely Mum. I was diagnosed 18 years ago with BC. I had the mastectomy, chemo, rads and Tamoxifen and only recently was diagnosed with secondaries in my liver and spine. However, I had 18 cancer free years and although I was devastated at first to find out it had come back (I thought my number was up!!) I’m now coping with it really well. I did the same as you and your mum are doing, I went and chose a wig (both times) but I didn’t lose my hair the first time and apparently I’m not going to lose it this time. But even if I had, I wouldn’t care, she will still be your beautiful Mum with or without hair and she’ll get through the chemo and come out the other side. Take good care of each other and pamper yourselves whenever you can. Loads of love and hugs coming your way. Stay on this marvellous site, you will get loads of support from all these lovely ladies. Dianne x x x

Hi Dianne
New to all this, so just a question please! How come you never lost your hair during chemo? l thought everyone with breast cancer lost their hair (unless coldcap used).
So sorry to hear you have secondaries, but you sound so up beat about it, a big shock for you after 18years!! you must get to the stage when you think ok this is looking good! obviously we always need to keep our guard up!
Take care
Love
Sandra xxx

Hi Dianne What an amazing story!your so amazing and strong, i was reading up about the chemo and some people not loosing there hair,and it all depends what chemo they give you and everyone is different, you can ask your oncologist if he thinks there is a high chance you will loose your hair. Apparently because my mam has other health issues he will choose certain forms of chemo to suit her needs, i just find it amazing how many different types there is.
My mams coping better than i thought about her hair,she didnt want a wig at first as she thought it would be really hot and uncomfortable, but i told her to try it, even if she just has it for going out x x x take care dianne and if you dont mind, i would like to keep in touch with you as im sure ill have many questions and ups and downs with the chemo coming up!, lots of love and hugs coming your way x x x x x

Hi Lesley and Sandra, Many thanks for your messages and you can write to me any time. I don’t really know why I didn’t lose my hair the first time and it’s so long ago that I can’t remember what sort of chemo I had. They did tell me that I would lose it after the second month but it never happened. This time around I’m having taxotere on a weekly basis. The ONC says that if I had it monthly then I would lose my hair, but because it’s weekly it sometimes doesn’t happen. I have to say it’s not in very good condition (but that’s probably because I keep having my streaks done - bad girl!!) I’ve just washed it this morning and it’s still hanging in there… I did go to a specialist wig shop a few weeks and chose a lovely wig just in case. I thoroughly enjoyed myself actually, tried every one in the shop!! If I had lost it, I would probably just wear scarves in the house and keep the wig for going out. There are some lovely scarves on the different websites Lesley, so you could have a look for them for your Mum. I hope she’s feeling good today, I know it’s a ghastly experience but I’m sure she’ll get through it and hopefully will have many years cancer free. Have a good day everyone and enjoy this lovely sunshine. I’m out for dinner tonight and there’ll be two glasses of weekend wine waiting for me. Yeah…

Lots of love, Dianne x x x

Forgot to say Lesley that the wigs nowadays have improved enormously over the years. They are very light and airy so your scalp can breathe through them, so I’m sure your Mum will be pleasantly surprised. The one I chose was so nice I almost wanted my hair to fall out (Almost!!!) Lotsa love, D x x x

Hi, we are going on the cruise! :), mam cant have chemo till after it anyway so the doctor said we should go, i cant wait! but not got anything ready at all and have only 2 days to get sorted, but at the end of the day im not bothered, as long as we are all together! x

Hi Lesley You are such a caring daughter the cruise will do mum a lot of good I have breast cancer had my left breast removed and lost my hair. I got a wig and it was beautiful. In fact mine was a Raqual Welsh one lol and I was so pleased with it It was very light weight and it was just like my own hair. I sent it to a lady on here who couldnt afford a wig when I was finished with it. Tell tour mam to take someone with her as that helped me choose the right one for me.I am 3 years down the line now and been back at work full time so tell mam things do get better after treatment is finished also I am 52 so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Having a caring daughter like you will also be a big help to her as I had my daughter as well.Enjoy the cruise and keep us posted how mams doing Love Linda x

Hi Lesley, So glad to hear from you, I was a bit worried as you haven’t been on line for quite a few days. I’m delighted to hear that you are going on your cruise. We have one booked for September, something to focus on and look forward to. I hope that you and your mum have a wonderful time and come back relaxed and in a ‘good place’. Having a lovely, caring daughter like you will help her enormously. Have a great time and let us know how you get on. Take care, bye for now, lotsa love to everyone, Dianne x x x

hi, im sitting in the living room with the suitcases packed! and ready to go, mams been quite down the past couple of days…probably with all the last minute packing and getting sorted, bless her , but im going to keep her busy and make sure she has a lovely time, thanks for all your messages, and ill be back on here soon telling you all about it x x love to all , loads of hugs x x x

Hi everyone, were back! we all had a lovely time, mam had a few down days but she really enjoyed it, its just a shame we are coming back to chemo, but im looking at it as a possitive tho cos it will kill these horible cells. She goes for her assesment today and i think she will start chemo on fri, im so nervous, i hope she doesnt get really bad side effects. x ps hows every1 doing? x x

Hi Lesley, how lovely to see your post. I’m so glad you and your mum had a good time. She’s sure to get down days, but they do pass eventually. Not having a great time myself at the moment. My recent CT scan showed that the tumours are shrinking but not as fast as the ONC would like. I’m only half way through the treatment though, so hopefully it will work better during the second half. 10th session today!

The difference is though that I have secondaries in my liver and spine, so your mum won’t have the same problem hopefully. It will work well and she’ll be fine and have many, many happy years ahead of her. The side effects for me aren’t too bad, the first couple are usually the worst and then for some reason your body adjusts and it’s bearable and let’s face it pet, it’s better than the alternative!!! So don’t you worry, with your help and support your mum will get through this and beat it. Anything I can do to help, just let me know.

Take care hon, bye for now and lots of love to you and your mum.

Dianne x x x

Hi everyone, hope your all ok, mams had her 1st lot of chemo, she ended up in hospital because her blood count was low and she had a few infections, but she is home now,its been a bad couple of weeks but its give us an idea of what to come. ive decided to go for a genetic test, as mam would like me to, the doctor also thinks its a good idea…What do you think? i would like to hear other peoples opinions, ive had alot of people saying its a bad idea but personally i think its a good thing x x x

Dear Lesley1,

I am sure you will soon get lots of responses from other forum members but I thought the booklet “Breast cancer in Families” may be helpful for you. I have attached the link below.

breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/bc_in_families__final_12_june_08_layout_1_0.pdf

Very best wishes

Janet
BCC Facilitator

You need to ask yourself what you want from the results of the genetics tests. The tests will tell you if you are more likely to get breast cancer than the average person. There are advantages and disadvantages to knowing the results. The advantages are if you test positive that you can take appropriate steps to reduce your risk of getting breast cancer such as early screening, surgery to reduce the risk etc. The disadvantages are that you will know that you are more likely to get cancer than the average woman and that will be on your mind. The advantages of not having the test is that you wont know for definite if you are more likely to get breast cancer so you can get on with your life without the worry. The disadvantage is that you will not be offered surgery or any other prophylatic measure and screening may not be offered. I think it depends on your personality. Do you want to just live your life and take a risk whether you get breast cancer and deal with it if and when it happens or do you need to know what your risks are and do quite drastic things to prevent something that may not happen?

Hi Lesley, I’m so glad to see you’ve written on the thread again. I was getting concerned as it seems ages since we heard from you. I’m so sorry your mum has had such a bad time with her first chemo, let’s hope it improves as time passes. Please give her my love and tell her I’m thinking of her and you as well. I think with the genetic testing, it’s really a personal choice for yourself. As Cathy the previous writer said it’s whether you want to know or not. I personally would prefer to know so I could deal with it and decide what to do, but a lot of women would rather not know. Sorry pet, I’m not being much help here am I?

Do take good care of yourself and your lovely mum and think carefully about what YOU want to do, never mind what anybody else says, it’s about you. Hope you have a lovely weekend and please write soon and let us know how you and your mum are. Lotsa love, Dianne x x x