And anyone who's 50 or even 60 plus

Feeling rather aged and alone that I can’t respond to the 40s thread. Keep thinking of Ruth Picardie’s remarks about 50 something post menopausal women…though understand what she meant.

Statistically of course there are far more women with mets in their 50s, 60s and 70s than younger…but fewer use the internet.

I was 54 at primary diagnosis (the commonest age of diagnosis apparently!), 58 when diagnosed with regional incurable mets in neck and chest wall…now spread to other ‘side’ and query on lungs. I’m hoping to celebrate 60 in March. I count myself lucky that age sems to be making my otherwise aggressive trip neg cancer act more slowly and indolently than it might have done if younger. And very unlucky when I compare myself jealously with 1940s/1950s healthy peers.
Dying at any age short of 80 plus in the west is premature in my book.

best wishes to all mature post menopausal women with mets

Jane x

Hi Jane,
as you know I only started to post last year, as the computer was something I couldn’t get my head round! Think it is an age thing but I am now quite onfident and try to post as often as I can.
Diagnosed in July 1999 with lobular b.c. Diagnosed with secondaries May 2004 with ducal stage 3 bc. I will be 58years young on Saturday. I doubt I will make 60 and that really hisses me off. Keep reading 50 is the new 30 well I think someone has got that wrong! More like 50 is the new 80! When I was born in1951 I had 3 grans in there 80’s.
It does brake my heart when I see all the young en’s suffering this crap disease I just feel that we have all been cheated by medical science.

Love Debsxxx

Hi all,

Aged 39 in 1990 when diagnosed with primary lobular breast cancer.

Aged 46, malignant melonoma removed from foot ( fortunately still in situ ).

Aged 51 in 2002, new ductal primary breast cancer plus secondaries diagnosed.

Now aged 57 and still going hopefully!

Wendy x

Hi All

Aged 53 now
Aged 50 when diagnosed in Jan 06, I remember the evening well (19th Jan) I saw a client that evening with a phobia, during the session she said she had another phobia - a phobia of cancer. We finished the session about 9.30pm, I went to bed and woke at 4.00am went to the toilet, half asleep and put my hand up my tee shirt and felt the lump- I started laughing because I could not believe it! I wasnt laughing the week after when I was diagnosed.
The tumour was 4.5cm, 3 nodes pos, HER+
Bone mets diagnosed in May

Enjoying the first week of my retirement (on ill health grounds).

Always thought I would live to 80+ but would be so happy with 60+ now!

Love Sue x

Am I right in thinking that this thread is only for those with secondaries? or can those 50+++ with primary BC join in?


I’m 53
dIagnosed with primary at 45 - surgery, chemo and rads
Came back september this year - multiples in lymph, bones and liver - now on taxol , zometa and herceptain ( tripple psitive ) was on arimadex before but that clearly stopped working - feel far too young to face the limited expectation they have - they said 18 months would be average time for me - hope its longer - i’ve a lot to do…you know = places t g, people to see, fun to be had but so bloody tired ! I so wanted to be a really eccentic old lady…

I belong to the 60+ actually very nearly 64! How did that happen! Have been computer savvy for quite a long time now but never discovered things like forums, chat rooms etc until 3 yrs ago.

First dx breast cancer in 1990 at age 45, then new primary in 1995, spread to skin in 1996, another new primary in 1999, regional recurrence in 2001 and extensive bone mets in 2002 and that’s it in a nutshell. Loads of chemos,rads and surgeries and now permanently on bisphosphonates & herceptin.

Never thought I would make 50, let alone 40th wedding anniversary and 60. So hoping to make many more but as we all know this bl**dy disease can strike again at any time.

51 and hoping!

1st dx at 41 - lumpectomy, rads and Tamoxifen; 2nd dx 45 mastectomy and Letrozole; 3rd dx 51 - secondaries on Aorta, in bones, pleura and liver - chemotherapy.

Just want to keep living, not finished yet.

Good luck to us all


still primary TG I will be 65 in March-any age is too young but how I ache for the poor lasses who trudge this road at such young ages there are too many of them.Love to you all and I will butt out of the secondary forum!

I’m 59 was dx at 48, had lumpectomy, 10 chemo, 5 weeks radiotheraphy and 5 years Tamoxifen. Thought and hoped that that was it until shock diagnosis in June 2008 of secondaries in Bones, Liver and Lungs. Feeling I was badly let down by my GP and recently my new consultant (10 weeks prodding and poking with no blood tests before diagnosis) I don’t feel I am ready to give in to this disease and have a brilliant oncologist (same one as I had 10 years ago) but worry that things may have progressed too far for him to help me much. I have 4 grandchildren, 3 born born since my dx and have so much I wanted to do with them but find my energy levels limit me.
Love to everyone

I hope you don’t butt out cos I asked the question as to whether this was a secondary only thread or not and so far no-one has told me no.
I don’t post much because I had a really bad time on chemo which has left me with damaged nervrves to my spine for which I receive intermittant nerve blocking injections. And as so many newly diagnosed people want to know more about their chemo regimes and potential side effects I hesitate to post cos my experience may scare them.
As Jane stated in her original post, there are more 50 plus diagnosed with BC than less and because many of us of in that age group are not confident with using the internet I think the numbers diagnosed with BC nay be somewhat squewered when you look at the threads on here. Like you my heart goes out to all those young people with or without children who are trying to cope with this awful diseae but that doesn’t have to mean that those older people like us don’t share the same basic human fears about dying and death, about not seeing out our dreams and hopes for the future.

I hope this thread is open to all, with or wthout secondaries.

My simplistic view is that we all share a common element…BC . WhenI I was gioing through chemo I chatted to a wonderful lady who allowed me to share my angst
and dread for what was maybe ahead of me. There was no distinction with my moderately good prognosis and her dire prognosis and for that I will be forever grateful.

Best wishes

Okay …

Was 56 when diagnosed with primary and secondaries. Nothing I could do. No point in worrying or fretting about something I could do nothing about. Just got to accept it and do whatever the medics told me. In 2005 they told me two years was a good lifespan for me. Here I am, living a more or less pain-free life, driving, shopping, taking my grandchildren for swimming lessons, walking my dog.

What more can I ask?? I’ll tell you. I ask for nothing. I expect nothing. I was born. I’ll die. What happens in between isn’t for me to say. I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in Jesus. We’re born and we die. End of.

Always have and still do worry about younger mums and dads who have to face this disease. At least I’ve seen my sons grow and reproduce, and I’ve known the pleasures of being a grandmother.

It’s life.

No-one said it was fair.

Good luck to us all all.
Maureen xx

Granny Scouse,

Love your take on this thread.


Granny Scouse…me too…Belinda.

My Mum was 58 (2005) when first dx with DCIS and dx with secondaries in brain, lung and bone in Nov 2008 aged 61.
She never uses the computer and refuses to. She doesn’t even know how to use the TV remote or work the video/DVD players and she refuses to have a mobile phone. I only wish she would use the computer so she could get the help and support that I have found. I’m sure she would appreciate being able to chat to some of you ladies in the same boat has her. Both she and my Dad are of the same opinion that everyone is individual and she will get through this in her way and doesn’t need to talk to anyone else. I believe she is wrong and the few posts I have printed out for her to read she has enjoyed reading.

Even though my Mum is in her 60s and her dx was quite late in life she is still young to me. She isn’t yet a grandmother and I worry that she will never get that opportunity to be one (neither my sister or I are married or likely to be in the near future). She has always talked about her grandchildren and is the one thing she has always really looked forward to. She has had WBR and just started on Taxol, Avastin and Zometa. I have absolutely no idea how long I can expect to have her for.

Jane, you are not alone, just think of those women like Mum who are too scared to use the computer!

Trish, don’t think any thread is closed to anyone if you feel you can contribute.

Love and best wishes to you all.

SunnyBear x

Hi Sunnybear,
if your mum is enjoying the reading keep printing them off for her. Next step and with all first steps this is the hardest let her sit next to you while you log on, talk her through it. If she is anything like I was she will be feb up before you get on the forum, for a non user it seems so slow. That is where I was up to last year, I am now a poster , not yet a confident poster!
Taxol with avastin is working well for me as you know so good luck to your mum.

Love Debsxxx

Hi Sunnybear,

Similar kind of thing with my mum who is 58 but more so she doesnt have internet access at the minute so Im relaying information to her and I have to say this site is being a god send for both of us - especially as I live in Turkey and can’t get to every appointment with her to ask questions. So much so Im trying to organise broadband for her so she can log on here herself and chat to other people who are in the same situation.

I know there is a lot younger women on this board but my mum had me and my sister late on and neither of us are near marrying or having kids and thats the thing that upsets her the most.

My mum was diagnosed with mets in her lymph (small lump on her neck now visble) and lungs with possible areas in her liver on 22nd December 08 so this is pretty new to us . This follows 3 months of my mum gradually getting iller as the 3 diff GP’s diagnosed her with chest infection and sent her away , my mum knew something was up pursued this (seeing 5 diff doctors in all) and then was diagnosed with pneumonia, which of course didn’t shift and with rapid weight loss my mum experienced she eventually managed to get referred back to her consultant at Christies. she asked for the prognosis and was given the usual 2 year average - which has scared her, and now shes itching to start treatment and hopefully this will ease the symptoms she has been having.

Just bit of background my mum started off with DCIS -2001 (mastectomy and re-construction -no chemo and rads, put on tamoxifen) and then a primary recurrence with 11/13 nodes affected in 2006, following this she had chemo, rads and 1 year of Herceptin and was on Femara. Awaiting information now for her start date in Taxotere and Herceptin (and possibly Avastin if she is accepted on a trial).

Sorry been a bit of a long one but my mum wanted her info put on here!

Best wishes to everyone on here


Hello everyone

I have had only primary BC - I was 60 when diagnosed 2 years ago.

I read most of the forums on this site including the secondaries forum. Even though I haven’t anything to contribute to that forum from personal experience, I do follow everyone’s progress with great compassion including yours Jane. I’m sorry that you’re feeling ‘aged and alone’. 59 isn’t aged and I don’t believe you’re alone even though you don’t feel able to contribute to the 40s thread.

I’ve been following your story since I first discovered this site and I think a lot about you and the other people on the forum. I imagine there must be many women like me who read the secondaries forum. Jane do you remember the large number of posts there were when your recurrence was found? Many of the women who posted then will still be following your story and wishing you well - as I do.

Keeping my fingers crossed for your birthday in March Jane.
Very best wishes
Anthi x

‘aged and alone’ was tongue in cheek, and not in the least how I literally perceive myself!


Granny Scouse -

I am so with you and couldn’t have said it so eloquently! Think we should get some t-shirts with the legend: “I am NOT a victim - I AM a survivor!”.

Vic - I can identify with your Mum too - thought I was doing fine until I got a pulmonary embolism 22 Dec and spent the “festive season” in hospital, not even a piece of tinsel in the ward, although the hospital gave me a box of wine gums as a Xmas pressie!

Most of us on here are realistic about our condition and prognosis, but no point on dwelling on stats. I just try to find something worth living for each day - even if it is just a big hug from my 80 yr old hubby who finds dealing with my illnesses more difficult than I do.

Great we have this forum to share our lives with.