Anyone about? Harrowing night in Hospital. Bit down

things were going well yesterday. Temperature back to normal, and able to stand up again. Also surprise, surprise,the Professor came to see me on the ward. None of the staff had ever seen him before, so it caused quite a buzz. Was a bit like the old Carry on Films where the eminent Prof arrives with a huge number of lackies. I almot asked him how he found his way to the Ward, because he spends most of his time in Harley Street, and doing Cancer Research (but I bit my lip thinking it might sound a bit sarky), He apologised for not doing my referral for Cyberknife yet , but promised to do it yesterday, and also told one of his underlings to bring forward the MRI, just to prove to me that the problem that brought me here is not brain related, but infection of the scar tissue, arising from the Operation I had at Christmas. I tend to agree that it’s infection because my entire chest is covered in a horrid rash.

The reason I’m so down though is that it’s been a, terribly harrowing night. The lady opposite me is dying and all her family have been here since 2.15am this morning. I did see she was failing yesterday, because she slept all day, didn’t eat or drink, and was clearly having trouble breathing. Anyway at about 1am the Nurses started making her comfortable, and the doctors arrived shortly after saying she was in a very bad way and to call her family (she’s in such a bad way that you can hear the fluid on her chest from here). Of course I haven’t slept a wink all night, because I can hear them talking to her, and willing her to keep breathing (even though the doctor has told them she only has a few hours because she is basically drowning in her own fluid). Have been up and down making tea for myself all night and sitting in the quiet room, as I was afraid the family might hear me blubbering. Just can’t help thinking there but for the grace of God go I, and imagining my family sitting around me in desperation and grief (just as her family are now).

It’s all just awful, and I wish they could take her into a private room so that they can grieve privately (but that’s not what the NHS do these day’s). Another lady in the ward has just been diagnosed with secondary lung cancer and is due to start her chemo today, so listening to the death of someone else with lung cancer isn’t exactly ideal for her just at the moment. What a sh*t disease cancer is.

Hopefully I’l be out soon. They are doing my MRI today, taken me off steroids, and switched my antibiotics from IV to oral. I bought quite a few plants just before coming in so am keen to get them planted. Also, We’ve booked a short break in Brittany from next week, so desperate to get out.

Love to all.

Just bumping so that the post appears

So sorry you’ve had such a difficult night. I would have found it very tough too. I hope you can get home very soon and get your mind on to other things.
Take care,

Tournesol x

Just read your post, what a tough night for you as well as the lady and her family. Cyberhugs heading your way. Mel xxx

Lemongrove that sounds so awful and such a horrible experience for you to have to witness. I’m crying reading your post so can only imagine what your night has been like. You are so right; they should have moved her into a private room, not only for for the other patients like you but for her family and her dignity.
I do hope you are home soon planting your plants, if they haven’t blown away in the winds! Enjoy Brittany, so lovely to have something to look forward to.
Big hugs Emma xxx

Wish that I could do more than just send my best wishes…what a dreadful time.

i do not post very often but someone suggested that I read some of your previous posts and I found them reassuring, helping me to be positive and take charge of my situation… Hoping my few words can somehow recipricate.

What a horrible night you have had and how distressing. I hope you are out of hospital soon and that the lady opposite is now finally at peace.


How awful for you, Lemongrove. To have to witness what was essentially such private family grief right opposite your hospital bed must have been dreadful for you. No wonder you are feeling down, being couped up in hospital is bad enough in itself, but with this added to it, no wonder you were blubbing! If the whole forum had been in your position, I expect the whole lot of us would have exited to the quiet room!!!
I would have thought they would have moved the poor lady into a side room - they did that when my elderly aunt was dying on an an NHS ward and we were called in at 1am to be at her bedside. When we arrived on the ward we had the privacy that we needed, which enabled us to spend her last night with her, her dignity intact. It must also have been difficult for the family too, to have no private time alone with their relative.
I really hope they let you home ASAP, there’s nothing as depressing as being in hospital, the best tonic for you will be being back home and in your own bed ASAP. Fingers crossed you get out SOOOON! just grit your teeth and plan where you in the garden your new plants will go ! :wink: XXXX

Sending you hugs and best wishes. My mum was left to die on the ward, and it was agonising. I do hope someday dying patients will be given a private room. How awful for you. Hope you are out of hospital soon and enjoying your plants and your holiday. xxx

Lemongrove, just wanted to add my best wishes and a hug and hope you are able to go home soon xx

Oh LG what a horrible night for you, the poor lady opposite and her family.

What a shame, talking of the old carry on films, that there isn’t a Hattie Jacques style matron around to ensure everyone gets the peace and privacy they need.

I hope you are out of hospital soon and Brittany bound.

Della x

Acting on our other discussion, sending love and keep going wishes, and hoping that that poor lady has found peace.

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So sorry to hear of your harrowing night. What is it with the NHs at times -so good yet sometimes so unthinking.
I had exactly the same experience with my mum when she was near the end of her life with cancer and they put her on an open ward even though they promised me a side room. I literally had to stamp my feet and state to the nurses how awful it was for the family and other people on the ward. Eventually they moved her and we were able to spend our final hours with her in privacy but I was made to feel like a ‘stroppy mare’ by the staff. Even now, I hate walking past that ward when I visit the chemo clinic.
Sending you a cyber (((hug))) and hope you will be homeward bound very soon.
Liz x

Hi Lemongrove,
Just wanted to send you a virtual hug and hope you are feeling better and out of hospital soon. I understand how stressful it must be for you and the other lady and I so feel for the poor ladies’s family too. I hope she is at peace soon.


Oh Lesley how awful, years ago dying patients were moved to side room to give privacy to them and their family. When I was in hospital 8 weeks ago the same thing happened, a very old lady was dying in the night, I was so upset like you as I could hear absolutely everything. I would never have believed this could happen when we are all so close in these wards, no privacy whatsoever. Like you, I was feeling so ill myself, pneumonia/septocaemia and very frightened. Really sympathise with you and really hope this infection clears soon, are you on intravenous antibiotics? Had to laugh about the ‘carry on’ bit about the Professor and his entourage, just like the old days eh!! Thinking of you and hope you get home soon
Marina xx

I think part of the problem nowadays is that single rooms are needed more often for isolation of people with impaired immunity, after chemo or whatever. A friend of mine was in a 6 bedded ward when they decided they could do no more for her in curative terms, and the consultant explained that they could not give up any of the single rooms at that point for that reason. They did find one about 6 hours later, but it made it very hard for her husband and her in the meanwhile as they had very sensitive conversations.
Continued good wishes, Lemongrove, and steady as you go.

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What an awful situation for all concerned! When my grandmother was dying in hospital, the nurses promised to move her into a side room of her own as soon as one became available. Unfortunately, she died before such a room became free.

I hope you can get home soon, get some rest and recover enough to enjoy your break in Brittany. Sending gentle (((((hugs))))).

sorry, to hear of your awful night in hospital. It’s so understandable that you feel upset and worn out. I really hope you enjoy your time in Brittany and planting out those plants.

Hello Lesley,
Your experience exactly mirrors mine during the 3 weeks I spent on that ward. The only way I could cope was by putting on my earphones (not the skimpy little ones either) and listening to very loud music on my laptop, no matter what time of day or night it was. It was helpful for me to have my privacy curtains drawn. And a mini bottle of wine, brought in by the family, was wonderful.
Yes it was all very public. Some patients also had big families and the ward was very full all night. One terminally ill lady with dementia crashed through the curtains into my bed and that scared me witless.
It was not an experience I would have wished for anyone. Funnily enough, in retrospect, it was quite a privilege to have been part of it. Pain management was fantastic and the nurses were wonderful. Each patient was cared for with dignity. I overheard difficult conversations between Consultants, patients and family and thought they were sympathetically managed. The nursing staff took great care to ensure the very sick were going home to proper care and they were given time for their family or representative to sort it.
I was so glad to go home, as you will be. Bear up, dear Lemongrove. We are all rooting for you.
Susan xxx

Hi Lesley
That sounds horrible for everyone concerned on the ward, no wonder you are feeling down. I hope you can get out of there quick and feel a lot better once you’re back in your own bed. Enjoy the holiday to Brittany.
Nicky x