was a bit confused as to whether to post this under “chemotherapy” or “after treatment has finished”
although I am mid-way through treatment its now 5 weeks since my last one due to delays due to neutrofils and the last few days have been an emotional nightmare …
I am usually a very steady person but mmy mood swings are incredible - in the space of a few hours! One minute I’m quie chirpy and then I just feel so terribly sad … it’s awful …
someone told me to “cheer up” today HOW IRRITATING IS THAT???
anyone else in the same boat and why am I getting this now ???
My mood swings from positive to negative many times throughout the day.I only have 2 1/2 chemos to go before rads but at the moment do’nt want to face anymore , had enough of feeling tired and lousy , motivation nil most of the time. It sounds as if you are having to drag it out as well because of neutrophils so you have a reason to be peed off. We all want to get all this behind us and live a little. I do’nt think I will ever be the same person again BUT I hope this lot makes me a better person. Not very tolerant at present with peoples niggles OR ’ my hairs a mess ’ statements so will have to see. Keep your chin up , we have some very encouraging cybermates, we are not on our own. Love and ((((((hugs)))))
Bobbie aka Corsa.
I’m not on chemo yet but have been up and down like a yoyo since diagnosis. I think the old me is still in here somewhere, but I think she’s hiding.
Anyway I’d actually forgotten until hormones got the better of me this morning that I used to burn geranium essential oil in one of those oil burners when I got bad PMT because it supposed to help level mood swings. It used to work for me so I’m going to try it again.
That and possibly drinking a whole bottle of rescue remedy (it is 30% brandy after all).
As for why you’re getting mood swings, where do I start, from what I’ve seen of your threads you’ve been having a pretty rough time of it recently.
Hope you get that next dose soon.
Yes, high as a kite, then plummeting the depths of gloom, biting OH head off one minute then telling him I cannot live without him next…then add the hot sweats, waiting for my bits and pieces to atrophy under the influence of arimidex…fun fun fun x
thanks Bobbie - i was beginning to think I might need to worry! - lovely to know I’m as normal as everyone else!
it’s funny because the first 3 months weren’t difficult mentally but i just feel my world is getting smaller and smaller and I am in the closet but it’s becoming more obvious i’m not right as my hair is getting sooooo thin
have a bad back too so walking a lot isn’t an option and so all i do is work!!
am terrified of tax as have back problems already so worried I could be bedridden for a bit!
I was going to reduce my workload a lot but quite frankly there’ll be nothing left as i can’t do my usual hobbies at the moment anyway
and then it’s so blooming hot here it makes keeping out the sun impossible unless I stay in - so i am!
can be very chirpy at times and then if something (anything?) goes wrong I feel ridiculously upset and don;t want to show it as OH gets all upset then …
having said that watched a fab film yesterday - Babel (my spelling is awful)
OH trying his best and cat is very sympathetic - very reliable little friend
sorry to go on - not really moaning just trying to explain - still feel very lucky to have treatment - just wish i could get on with it! Should be having tax 2 next week and I’ve not even managed tax 1 yet!!!
you’ve just prompted me - i think i’ve had an instant menopause so that migt have someting to do with it!!!
having said that - my back was always worse before my period so that could be a good thing
talking about bits and pieces if we had an anthem I think it would be “4 wheels on my wagon” do you know it ?? It’s the one where a wheel falls off but we’re still rolling along! Lets hope its all downhill so we can still keep going with only one left!
yes, yes, yes. Huge mood swings. I thought I was going mad. Crying, feeling moody and then ok but not for long. It really has only happened over the last two weeks. My last chemo has been delayed (was due to happen today) because white and red count too low (boo hiss).
I am usually cheerful, laughing and active but not in a sporty sense. I am now all of the above with the added benefit of having the speed of a sloth (and even they are more athletic than me as there is no chance you’d find me hanging from tree in this state and they have a darn sight more hair than me).
I have been trying to hide miserableness from OH which means me just being quiet and then he thinks he has done something to upset me. Oh dear and I thought I was doing this all so well.
Well I’m happy to hear there are other ‘swingers’ on here, lets hope its not for too much longer for the sake of our loved ones and our sanity
I read somewhere in here that feeling really sh*** is a sign that your neuts are low.
If somethings capable of doing that to your immune system then imagine what it would be doing to any nasty little cancer cells.
I wish it were that simple but hey we can hope.
I’m watching Family guy right now, and during the day I’m helping OH gut our new (well old, made in 1980) campervan as fast as possible. I’ve got my first appt with my onc on Thursday and I’m 99.9% sure what he’s going to suggest already so I’ve probably got 2 weeks before my first dose of FEC, and from what I’ve read I probably won’t be up to any DIY for a while then.
Maybe I should start a new thread… how long after FEC until I’m fit for DIY (even if it’s just fitting cupboard handles, I’ll put OH in charge of wiring).
Hi
can relate to you all . I am having rads now after finishing chemo in Feb and I can also go from being upbeat and chirpy to thinking of my 2 and 7 year olds without a mother which terrifies me . The dark thoughts are awful and has gotten worse recently. Could be because now I’m doing rads I dont feel so well protected ? Think I am better when I am around others and out the house. I dont know the answer but hope I can really plant those good thoughts in and hold them there as I cant go on with this mental battle - its pretty debilitating . Any tips welcome
Cally x
Hi all, I had terrible mood swings about a week after FEC number 2, lasted four days and it was hell. The onc put it down to coming off steroids suddenly. Now I take half the dose I’m supposed to, two a day for 3 days then one a day for 2 days, and last cycle was great. Plus like you say, all the hormone changes can’t help. Hot sweats in night are awful. The only comfort is that the mood swings if I get them again are short lived. The apathetic feeling of chemo is hard to deal with too. Sometimes all I can do is watch daytime tv and that’s not really me. I’ve just had number 4 FEC so take comfort from being two thirds through.
Campervan - how lovely! Shame you can’t post pics on here, would love to see it. And yes, def stay clear of wiring Vertangle! Let us know what your onc suggests. With me chemos 1 - 3 were fine (and I didn’t take steroids after chemo 1 apart from the ones they give at the same time as the chemo). 4 found me a little slower and number 5 which I had over 3 weeks ago really had an impact. My counts are low, hence the delay in giving me my last and I felt kinda reassured now that I can make a link to my swinging and low neuts. Phew. Wishing you all the best for whatever treatment comes your way.
Cally, I won’t be having rads (due to needing more surgery and being BRCA1) so I don’t know how that effects moods. But where are you based? If you are in London, have a look at Breast Cancer Haven. They offer all manner of treatments that might help. Aromatherapy and massage through to counselling and nutrition and I think you can get up to 12 sessions all free of charge. It might help.
My mood has only really changed in the past few weeks and again it can be the littlest of things that can set me off. I find going for a walk helpful. Just to get outside so I can think about other things and look at other people, makes me feel better. Someone told me to go to a cafe, get a coffee and then imagine everyone you see nude. Haven’t tried that one yet…
Liz, I have now become an expert on property porn and antiques. I keep suggesting to my friends to bring me their old rubbish and I’ll give them a valuation. I don’t know where I’d be without iplayer. And like you, I just think of bad spots as a temporary blip, which is how I try and view all of this. Well done on nearly reaching the end of your chemo. Medals all round,
FizBix, how about, Now we’re the queens of the swingers on the mighty BCC, We’ve reached a flop and had to stop
and thats whats bothering we. …well its a start
my goodness nardy - that’s fantastic!!! … could we have some more please ???
soooo glad to hear i’m not alone… it just doesn’t make sense as i am 100 confident of beating the cancer … but terrified of the tax !!! which has been on the horizon for sooo long now (2 failed attempt due to neuts) …but doesn’t arrive
the thing that is even more upsetting than my appearance is my brain … i have always been able to rely on my brain and it just ain’t working right - I’ve always had a phenomenal memory and now i can’t even get the shopping right - I am convinced I bought things I haven’t and some thing I buy twice - the things I keep spares of in the cupboard
vertangie - very good idea to stay away from the wiring!!! I think I’d defintely have curly hair if I was to do that!
I think I need more phycial exercise but will have to wait until it’s darkas it’s too hot here - then I don’t fancy it - but I’ll have to make myself
I’ve been trying to think of the things i like to cheer myself up but can’t think of any …well - not that i can do anyway …
and it’s all come on so suddently in the last 2 weeks!!! i was so happy before that
mind you - I can remember getting some sort of high when i was first on FEC so in the back of my mind I’m wondering whether I’m having some sort of withdrawal …
need to have a good old sob but all i can do is leak the odd tear …
anyway - so grateful to EVERYONE who has posted on here to help
sorry we’re in the same boat
cheerio - I mean boo hoo hoo - don’t want to go - goody gum drops I’m off!
lots of love
FizBix xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I know you’ve just started yur first tax and when i started my I was very hormonal and moody and snappy and on edge and short tempered and everything and everyone was irratating my including me. Things around the house were getting on my nerves like mess and food and OH. I don’t know if you recal previous threads I asked why this was happening as on the epi was sailed through and was quite okay ish.
I was told this is due to the increase in steriods and on epi I was on 6 mg a day and on Tax its 16mg a day. If you read the instructions leaflet it might help you pin point the reason for yur BAD behaviour.
I’ve had the tax again yesterday and have been emotional but not as bad as yesterday. Really on edge with OH and kids and all of the above. hopefully it should pass in a few days and just eat some comfort food like chocolate.
Yep count me in the grumpy gang too… i had 6 fec and have just turned 40… suddenly began with awful aching joints, lower back pain that won’t go away, painful knuckles…deep wretching sobbing episodes where i feel like I can’t go on… you name it, the works… turns out i had a hormone test and i had gone into premature menopause - this accounts for the mood swings, and aches and pains… have you had a hormone test? also on arimidex now which doesn’t help matters either. If my symptoms don’t get any easier i’m going to see GP to see if she can prescribe anything to help. You are not alone! Carrie x
p.s. oh and poor memory too… just put the bath on not fifteen minutes ago, totally forgot and have now nearly flooded the bathroom! the joys the joys! xx
I personally love waterfalls and when I was feeling knackered after my bilateral mastectomy I would go for a gentle stroll to go and sit by the river, or a waterfall. Basically just a little excercise to get me to somewhere serene. It made a world of difference and now I’m going every day (sometimes twice) down to the river.
The great thing about that is every visit’s different. Today I saw a kingfisher.
3 weeks before my op my cat died from kidney failure and I was really low, lower than a low thing on a low day. I went down to the river. didn’t care how I looked and 2 otters appeared playing in the water with such joy that I just snapped out of it.
So maybe there’s something like that you could do, near sunset when it cools down a bit.
I am so sorry to hear about your cat - I would have been devastated. I feel like my cat really understands that I’m not quite all there. He’s noticed a lot more than the humans have! One of my first thoughts on finding my lump was “OMG the cat’s gong to miss me if I die and how are we going to explain it to him!”
That really is terrible timing for you - I am so so sorry. One of mine has died from kidney problems -common for cats. Dosn;t make it easier though. I hope he had a happy life with lots of cuddles.
Your idea is a good one as the other thing is that we are running a business (both of us). at one point we thought of selling it but then OH decided that we’d be better keeping it going as the cancer is only temporary. i would just LOVE to be able to ring in sick …no way!
it’s just soooo hard to keep all the balls in the air and i am always faced with lists and lists of things to do and problems to sort out and STILL people don’t know I’ve got/had cancer (my choice) … feels like a big mess all round
the idea of doing something like that is very good as I think I need to get away from things - I’m not sure whether I’m turning into a prisoner or a recluse! so at least it will get me out the house
I live not far from the sea so I could do it once the sun starts to set …
Actually my OH and I run a business together too. Several people advised me not to tell my clients about my DX but OH and I discussed it. I have a pretty rare set of skills that’s totally reliant on my analytical powers and most of my clients are really reliant on me so I felt it was unfair to keep them in the dark. We also decided that if it was too big a deal for them we’re better off without them.
So we told all of them one at a time, told them what was expected (some chemo etc) and that OH would be taking the reigns with me doing what I can when I want to.
I was stunned by the reaction. Every single client has been really supportive, and I’ve been able to carry on working without feeling pressured to work all the time.
Another plus has been that I can talk to people about something other than having cancer, but I don’t have to pretend I’m not recovering either.
So you might want to consider telling a few clients if they’re kinda friends, it might lighten the load a bit. Especially if you can stress to them that you’re being treated for it, rather than beaten by it if you know what I mean.
I figure it’s like this. Life’s precious, I don’t know how much I’ve got, hopefully lots so life does go on. Right now the cancer is part of it but it’s not all of it.
although I think I was lucky, I think it was all got in the surgery.
I do miss my pusscat though, she stuck around as long as she could and didn’t suffer. Still find her fur everywhere (she was a persian).
I do still have the wonderful OH and a mad collie dog though.
So I suggest you go see the sea and maybe talk to your OH about whether you should tell people.
I should say that I work from home as a web developer and my clients are all lovely people, and I knew that before my DX. I had no idea how lovely though.