Hi, I’ll try and keep this not too long. Partly because it takes too much time away from me going insane and crying which is what I have been doing all morning.
on 17th Feb I had a diagnostic appointment. One stop shop isn’t always the case of course and I had to go back the following week for a core biopsy. What I had gone there with in the first place had been benign but they identified a 3cm cluster of microcalcifications so I had to go back the following week for an mammo guided core biopsy. The results came back indeterminate and I was then scheduled for a mammo guided vacuum assisted biopsy. The consultant called me on Monday and the team were not happy with the results and I now have to have a targeted ultrasound guided vacuum biopsy. The consultant said I should get a call with a date for this this week. The way it has gone so far is after appt/result the biopsy has been scheduled in the following week. Core results took one week, VAB took two. So I of course was expecting to be given an appointment for my 3rd biopsy/2nd VAB for next week. I had an appointment come through by letter today - for the 15th April, nearly 3 weeks away and 2 months since my initial appointment. Factor in the 2 week wait for results after this and that will be 10/11 weeks since this kicked off. I just opened the letter and I just cried and cried. This can’t be right surely? And usually I’ve been given my appointment from the clinic not through the post. I’ve called the BCNs who are usually so quick to return my call and I’m still waiting. Maybe they just don’t want to call me back because it sounded like I was losing the plot. Which I am. I’m not a crier, but today I just can’t stop. I honestly don’t think I can cope with that wait since it’s been so long already and I’ve spent so much time on edge waiting for appointments and results and appointments and results. I just don’t understand how the last two biopsies were given to me for a week later and now this.
Unfortunately It does take time to get all the biopsies etc done and can feel really horrible while we are waiting.
I had my first mammogram at the beginning of Jan and will have my excisional biopsy in April.
Sometimes the results are not clear cut so the infomation gathering stage takes longer.
My core biopsy was benign but my ultrasound was discordant with what the biopsy was saying so even though the risk is low for me having cancer as my biopsy was benign I still have to go through General Anaesetic , recovery time etc.
I can think of nicer things to be doing with my Easter!
Hold tight, you will get through the next couple of weeks ,
Try and be around kind friends who you can vent to and do nice things for yourself.
The Breast Care Nurses on here are lovely and you might like to ring the helpline and have a chat with one if them.
Unfortunately Easter has come just at the wrong time for you and people will be on holiday, bank holidays etc.
I know it’s no comfort at all but as its so uncertain, even if it is a cancer then it’s early so the risks of spread before you’re next seen are low. I realise that the main problem is the horrid wait until you know what’s actually happening.
I have only 2 suggestions. Keep calling the breast care nurses and say you’ll take any cancellations etc. Stress the length of time since referral and that youre going mad. Also I would phone the secretary of the consultant you are under. Phone the hospital switchboard and ask to be put through to the secretary for Mrs/Miss/Mr ……. Again explain what’s happened, the waiting time and that you dont feel you can wait that long. It may not work but you never know, it might!
Oh I’m so sorry you have to go through this at Easter or any other time. I hadn’t even thought about the fact it was Easter - it wasn’t till the BC nurse who called me back a little while after I posted this mentioned it. And of course you lose 4 available days and not 2 to factor in all those people who would have ordinarily been seen on those 2 days. The nurse actually acknowledged that it was long even factoring in Easter given my initial appointment date. She was going to email the team to see if there was any possibility of an earlier appointment or at least have me down for any cancellations should they come up. What a long time you’ve waited. Sending positive thoughts to you
Yes Easter wasn’t even in my brain I hadn’t thought of it! One of the nurses phoned me back and said that does seem long even with Easter given the time frame so far. I had a little meltdown on the phone which I felt embarrassed by because I’m very weird about people witnessing me cry which is probably very silly! I said honestly mentally I feel like I don’t have it in me. She was going to email the team to see if there was any chance there was an earlier appointment I could have and would let me know when they replied and also make sure to let them know I would be up for any cancellations. I’m not too hopeful but for now all I can do is have a little hope.
Well done for speaking to her and expressing how you feel. They are used to it and I’m sure they have people having meltdowns every day. I used to be a midwife and there was never a moment when there wasn’t a woman crying somewhere
I’m sure she’ll do her best to slot you in somewhere. If not then you will survive, and you won’t go mad - no madder than the rest of us anyway.
Thanks the not going mad element isn’t a guarantee ( I may have even crossed that line already!) but I’ll do my best I wish I had the energy to go and do stuff to keep my mind occupied but I’m just a little fatigued blob at the moment!
You can only do what you can do. Try and make sure, as much as possible, that you do things that you enjoy and that you want to do. Even a 20 minute walk, or coffee and cake will help. xx
Coffee and a cake and a book - that’s one thing that does help because you have to get lost in it and the real world has to wait! Although I am worried my multiple trips to one coffee shop is going to leave the proprietor thinking I have the hots for him
Just think of all the years of work and research that’s gone into being able to fine tune your condition. This way you will get targeted treatment. Give yourself permission to have a cry and put a time limit on it - then pick yourself up and distract yourself with something more beneficial and constructive. Make plans, enjoy the sunshine when we get it, it’s very rare at the moment. Worrying won’t change the process you are going through as so many other have done before and with you. You can do it!
I thought I would update you that i finally had my lumpectomy / excisional biopsy yesterday and it went ok and all the breast care team were lovely.
I am now home and have been told by the breast care nurse who rang me today that I will get my results in about 3 weeks but at least it will be definitive then whether it is benign or not.
I am glad its done and now I can enjoy the Easter weekend .
How are you feeling? i hope you are feeling a bit better about the waiting or at least having lots of cafe visits with cake!
Oh I’m so glad it’s done and dusted for you and you can enjoy some relaxing time over Easter hope you’re not too sore but perfect time to watch familiar and comforting movies or find a new binge watch I’m coping better thank you even tried looking on the bright side that it would have been extra sore on top of current bruising if done earlier x
Thank you I’m doing better, the initial “oh my god I can’t do this” has worn off a bit! Can’t say I’m still not finding things to randomly google or just ask in a different way but overall, I’ve “womaned up”! Hope you’re relaxing over Easter x
I wish I had the energy to go and do stuff to keep my mind occupied but I’m just a little fatigued blob at the moment!
Worrying won’t change the process you are going through as so many other have done before and with you. You can do it!
hope you’re not too sore but perfect time to watch familiar and comforting movies or find a new binge watch 
I’m coping better thank you 
even tried looking on the bright side that it would have been extra sore on top of current bruising if done earlier x
