So I had my Oncology appointment this morning to outline the next steps of the treatment plan. Despite my side effects we agreed to keep the current dose for my final chemo on Wednesday, when the PICC line can also come out 
Then came the grim stuff…. I’m having further surgery to remove some cells behind my nipple at the beginning of August; then I’ll start Letrozole before 15 sessions of Radiotherapy in September; then I’ll be put on Abemaciclib (2 yrs) and Bisphosphonate (3yrs) I was sent away with pages of stuff to read before we next meet.
It’s the side effects that I’m struggling with ……taking medication is one thing but dealing with ongoing diarrhoea, low white blood cells, hot flushes, tiredness etc is really hard to get my head round. I’m wondering how I’ll feel about going back to work when I’m potentially vulnerable to infection - I work in close contact with under 5s who are always coughing and dribbling over me 
But…. This is to stop cancer coming back isn’t it…. so we need to do everything that’s suggested and more.
(It’s a bit much sometimes though isn’t it?
)
I know it’s hard to get what seems like an endless list but you are getting the best drugs and remember not everyone gets every symptom. When I was on tamoxifen I got zero symptoms but if you were to look at these message boards you would run a mile. I will be doing my best to try and get on Abemaciclib as it’s meant to be so effective and I don’t think I am eligible. That said the side effects are intimidating but try and go in with an open mind and prepare with other reccies to minimise the side effects. Hope you are one of the ones that get no side effects. x
Well I saw the breast surgeon today and surgery booked in for 9th August. I need to have genetic testing too as my cancer is very close to triple negative (unfortunately not close enough for me to be eligible for immunotherapy). Depending on the outcome of the tests, I will then have radiotherapy for 3 weeks or a mastectomy. As my cancer isn’t hormone driven there are no drug therapies available which is causing me huge anxiety. As the surgeon said ‘it’s an aggressive little bugger that you have’ so, I guess I just have to hope that the chemo has eradicated it and that they find no cancerous cells when they do the surgery 
. Honestly, I’ve had a few sleepless nights recently stressing about the future and how I will live with the fear of it coming back. Not sure I feel any better after today tbh but what can I do ? Emma x
@altoan - it sounds as though they are doing absolutely everything that they can to minimise it returning. Hopefully the side effects won’t be too bad and you’ll find a way to cope 
On the plus side I was given another Little Lifts box today. Apparently I get one for chemo and one for surgery. It had different contents to my first box, so that was lovely 
@ivy-cat you look fantastic in your photo, I’ve got definite hair envy and I agree with the other that your eyebrows look fabulous too, I have to draw mine on 3 times a day as they keep sliding off with the heat,
@gromit12 thanks for the sock advice 
@ivy-cat & @swk1981 im with you on feeling very flat, family and friends so encouraging with the “you nearly there, last one now!” and they are so pleased but I just feel like I still have along way to go and I’m oh so so tired, my reserves are spent and I too don’t feel like me anymore, everything is such an effort that I really don’t want to make, but I put a smile on and tell them all what they want/need to hear which is exhausting me.
On a brighter note I know tomorrow is a new day and hoping I will find my positive pants going forward.
New moan- I’ve no appetite, everything tastes like shite , not snacking like I normally do and I’ve put on another 2lb!!! How??? Does sleep make me fat 
just ordered a treadmill!!! 
Hi @SL255
I have just had my 13th chemo infusion and I am still cold capping. I have a bald patch and my hair has thinned quite a bit but I can cover using Nanogen fibres which are made out of keratin. It was recommended by a Cancer Hair Care charity consultant and it really blends in, does not stain and becomes powder of hair when you wash your hair. It is a bit cheaper on Amazon than buying from their website.
Hope your treatment goes smoothly.
Take care,
Marion
@marionse25 that sounds amazing, no good for my own bald head but what a fabulous product x
@ivy-cat That’s very stressful having to decide. Good to ask surgeon which is the more aggressive option especially if you are concerned in this regard and why would they recommend one over the other (as oppose to both). Take your time deciding. I get you on the recurrence it is so hard trying to get on with your life and live it and yet trying to do everything to prevent a recurrence. At least if you push the surgeon hard on the stats and the pros and cons you will have more info to make your mind up.
Hope the appointments go well.
Thanks @marionse25 great to know about products that can help! Well done on keeping it going!
You’ve cracked it @elle16 - sleep makes us fat! It’s the only explanation, I’m up to a stone now 
Hope everyone is well☺️ I just wanted to share another resource that you may find useful at some point (and I’m saving for after surgery/radiotherapy too)
She was mentioned in the Breast Cancer Now Facebook live for today. Thats the website but she has a YouTube channel with lots of free content for various issues/topics and I’ve been having a quick dig round and already found some handy stuff!
@swk1981 and @elle16 - I think you both have your last chemo session this week? Thinking of you and hope it goes well xx
Thanks @ivy-cat, tomorrow is steroids day and Thurs is chemo.
My nurse just sent today’s bloods and I scraped through for chemo. Neutrophils are fine at 3.0 but my red blood cell count and everything red blood cells is below what it should be. Liver is struggling but the ALT was good enough to scrape through too. My bloods explain why I’m exhausted at least. My platelets are only 101 and chemo pass rate is 100. Phew!
Also met with Onc today and there’s been a change of plan. They want to give me Zoladex and Anastrozole combined with the Abemaciclib. AI’s plus ovarian suppression have a 1-2% advantage over Tamoxifen + Ovarian Suppression which has a 1% advantage over Tamoxifen alone. Her thinking is to start with the ‘best’ one and then tweak accordingly depending on if it goes smoothly.
If Letrozole doesn’t agree or doesn’t suppress Estrogen enough (which happens sometimes), ovaries can come out.
If I don’t get on with Anastrozole, then we’ll swap to Tamoxifen.
Love that there’s a tree diagram of options in my head now.
She said I don’t have to take anything until I get back from holiday but she knew I’d hate doing nothing so is giving me Zoladex (the 3 month injection) on Thurs when I have chemo and then giving me Anastrozole to start whenever I want, in case I have a wobble that I’m not proactively fighting cancer during my break before radiotherapy. Then we’ll start Abemaciclib once the Anastrozole has shown its true colours and we know its side effects. I like that they’re staggering everything so I’ll know what side effects belong to what.
She talked a lot about vaginal dryness which was fun . She had a sample in her bag this weekend and went away with her two teenage sons. When she pulled the passports out of her bag on landing, the sample flew out from between the passports and hit the passport control officer in the face.
Hope everyone is okay! Dreading the steroids tomorrow but it’s the last tomato face I’ll get hopefully and I look like a ghost currently so it’ll be nice to have some colour! X
Good luck @swk1981 & @elle16 with chemo this week.
@swk1981 my oncologist changed my hormone therapy from 5 years Anastrozole to 2 years Tamoxifen then 5 years Anastrozole. I asked her the reason and all she said was research shows it’s better. I’m not 100% convinced. I start radiotherapy tomorrow and also start tamoxifen then also.
I think I’m more apprehensive starting hormone therapy than radiotherapy. Then again I’m probably just overthinknig.
I felt so positive last week but haven’t slept well this last few nights. I think it’s when one treatment finishes you feel so good but then when another starts it’s a reminder of the whole journey.
I’m ranting on here, just hope everyone’s doing fine and am thinking of you all xxxx
Pauline xxx
Yeah, I get what you’re saying completely. It felt like finishing chemo was the end goal and then you’re like “Oh poop, there’s sooooo much more left to sort out and do!” I’m also more nervous about the long term drugs than anything. However, I’m reassured that the difference between the AI’s/Tamoxifen/Ovarian Suppression/Ovarian removal are so negligible that I don’t need to sweat the choices anymore. Either way, they’re all much of a muchness but with options to suit depending on which ones are tolerated best. It means we don’t need to feel disappointed if we have to change. I’m equally aware how lucky you can be to have just plain old bog standard estrogen receptive breast cancer and have the options. I’m trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
She did say treatment varies depending on stage and the marginal benefits. Mine was as advanced as it could be, without being Stage 4, so I expect they’re optimising for that reason too.
I hope your radiotherapy goes well tomorrow. I’ll have everything crossed for you tomorrow!! xxx
Thank you for the well wishes for last chemo 
Good luck with radio @pollyanna1 and good luck for with your chemo on Thursday @swk1981
I’m sure someone on here mentioned finding new lump but I can’t remember who, just wondered how you got on? I’ve found a lump just to the right of where my original one was taken and I’ve got an appointment with the bcn tomorrow, I’m hoping it’s just scar tissue as surely nothing could grow whilst having treatment feeling a little anxious but really trying not to over think,
I’ve also had an appointment come through to see radiologist Friday morning so hoping I will find out more details of what, when and why’s with my treatment going forward,
Also is someone else having last chemo this week too? I’m sure someone else was on a similar schedule to myself and Sarah? Xx
Good Luck @elle16
I had a lump but it was axillary and turned out to be a lymph node left behind but biopsy was negative thank god. Not sure if anyone had a boob lump.
Have you heard back on your brain scan or did I miss a post?
Everything crossed for them checking your lump! Xx
I’m sure it was isthisreal that asked about it last week…. @isthisreal your chemo rescheduled again yet as well? Think it was delayed?