So I had my Oncology appointment this morning to outline the next steps of the treatment plan. Despite my side effects we agreed to keep the current dose for my final chemo on Wednesday, when the PICC line can also come out 
Then came the grim stuffā¦. Iām having further surgery to remove some cells behind my nipple at the beginning of August; then Iāll start Letrozole before 15 sessions of Radiotherapy in September; then Iāll be put on Abemaciclib (2 yrs) and Bisphosphonate (3yrs) I was sent away with pages of stuff to read before we next meet.
Itās the side effects that Iām struggling with ā¦ā¦taking medication is one thing but dealing with ongoing diarrhoea, low white blood cells, hot flushes, tiredness etc is really hard to get my head round. Iām wondering how Iāll feel about going back to work when Iām potentially vulnerable to infection - I work in close contact with under 5s who are always coughing and dribbling over me 
Butā¦. This is to stop cancer coming back isnāt itā¦. so we need to do everything thatās suggested and more.
(Itās a bit much sometimes though isnāt it?
)
I know itās hard to get what seems like an endless list but you are getting the best drugs and remember not everyone gets every symptom. When I was on tamoxifen I got zero symptoms but if you were to look at these message boards you would run a mile. I will be doing my best to try and get on Abemaciclib as itās meant to be so effective and I donāt think I am eligible. That said the side effects are intimidating but try and go in with an open mind and prepare with other reccies to minimise the side effects. Hope you are one of the ones that get no side effects. x
Well I saw the breast surgeon today and surgery booked in for 9th August. I need to have genetic testing too as my cancer is very close to triple negative (unfortunately not close enough for me to be eligible for immunotherapy). Depending on the outcome of the tests, I will then have radiotherapy for 3 weeks or a mastectomy. As my cancer isnāt hormone driven there are no drug therapies available which is causing me huge anxiety. As the surgeon said āitās an aggressive little bugger that you haveā so, I guess I just have to hope that the chemo has eradicated it and that they find no cancerous cells when they do the surgery 
. Honestly, Iāve had a few sleepless nights recently stressing about the future and how I will live with the fear of it coming back. Not sure I feel any better after today tbh but what can I do ? Emma x
@altoan - it sounds as though they are doing absolutely everything that they can to minimise it returning. Hopefully the side effects wonāt be too bad and youāll find a way to cope 
On the plus side I was given another Little Lifts box today. Apparently I get one for chemo and one for surgery. It had different contents to my first box, so that was lovely 
@ivy-cat you look fantastic in your photo, Iāve got definite hair envy and I agree with the other that your eyebrows look fabulous too, I have to draw mine on 3 times a day as they keep sliding off with the heat,
@gromit12 thanks for the sock advice 
@ivy-cat & @swk1981 im with you on feeling very flat, family and friends so encouraging with the āyou nearly there, last one now!ā and they are so pleased but I just feel like I still have along way to go and Iām oh so so tired, my reserves are spent and I too donāt feel like me anymore, everything is such an effort that I really donāt want to make, but I put a smile on and tell them all what they want/need to hear which is exhausting me.
On a brighter note I know tomorrow is a new day and hoping I will find my positive pants going forward.
New moan- Iāve no appetite, everything tastes like shite , not snacking like I normally do and Iāve put on another 2lb!!! How??? Does sleep make me fat 
just ordered a treadmill!!! 
Hi @SL255
I have just had my 13th chemo infusion and I am still cold capping. I have a bald patch and my hair has thinned quite a bit but I can cover using Nanogen fibres which are made out of keratin. It was recommended by a Cancer Hair Care charity consultant and it really blends in, does not stain and becomes powder of hair when you wash your hair. It is a bit cheaper on Amazon than buying from their website.
Hope your treatment goes smoothly.
Take care,
Marion
@ivy-cat Thatās very stressful having to decide. Good to ask surgeon which is the more aggressive option especially if you are concerned in this regard and why would they recommend one over the other (as oppose to both). Take your time deciding. I get you on the recurrence it is so hard trying to get on with your life and live it and yet trying to do everything to prevent a recurrence. At least if you push the surgeon hard on the stats and the pros and cons you will have more info to make your mind up.
Hope the appointments go well.
Thanks @marionse25 great to know about products that can help! Well done on keeping it going!
Youāve cracked it @elle16 - sleep makes us fat! Itās the only explanation, Iām up to a stone now 
Hope everyone is wellāŗļø I just wanted to share another resource that you may find useful at some point (and Iām saving for after surgery/radiotherapy too)
She was mentioned in the Breast Cancer Now Facebook live for today. Thats the website but she has a YouTube channel with lots of free content for various issues/topics and Iāve been having a quick dig round and already found some handy stuff!
@swk1981 and @elle16 - I think you both have your last chemo session this week? Thinking of you and hope it goes well xx
Thanks @ivy-cat, tomorrow is steroids day and Thurs is chemo.
My nurse just sent todayās bloods and I scraped through for chemo. Neutrophils are fine at 3.0 but my red blood cell count and everything red blood cells is below what it should be. Liver is struggling but the ALT was good enough to scrape through too. My bloods explain why Iām exhausted at least. My platelets are only 101 and chemo pass rate is 100. Phew!
Also met with Onc today and thereās been a change of plan. They want to give me Zoladex and Anastrozole combined with the Abemaciclib. AIās plus ovarian suppression have a 1-2% advantage over Tamoxifen + Ovarian Suppression which has a 1% advantage over Tamoxifen alone. Her thinking is to start with the ābestā one and then tweak accordingly depending on if it goes smoothly.
If Letrozole doesnāt agree or doesnāt suppress Estrogen enough (which happens sometimes), ovaries can come out.
If I donāt get on with Anastrozole, then weāll swap to Tamoxifen.
Love that thereās a tree diagram of options in my head now.
She said I donāt have to take anything until I get back from holiday but she knew Iād hate doing nothing so is giving me Zoladex (the 3 month injection) on Thurs when I have chemo and then giving me Anastrozole to start whenever I want, in case I have a wobble that Iām not proactively fighting cancer during my break before radiotherapy. Then weāll start Abemaciclib once the Anastrozole has shown its true colours and we know its side effects. I like that theyāre staggering everything so Iāll know what side effects belong to what.
She talked a lot about vaginal dryness which was fun . She had a sample in her bag this weekend and went away with her two teenage sons. When she pulled the passports out of her bag on landing, the sample flew out from between the passports and hit the passport control officer in the face.
Hope everyone is okay! Dreading the steroids tomorrow but itās the last tomato face Iāll get hopefully and I look like a ghost currently so itāll be nice to have some colour! X
Good luck @swk1981 & @elle16 with chemo this week.
@swk1981 my oncologist changed my hormone therapy from 5 years Anastrozole to 2 years Tamoxifen then 5 years Anastrozole. I asked her the reason and all she said was research shows itās better. Iām not 100% convinced. I start radiotherapy tomorrow and also start tamoxifen then also.
I think Iām more apprehensive starting hormone therapy than radiotherapy. Then again Iām probably just overthinknig.
I felt so positive last week but havenāt slept well this last few nights. I think itās when one treatment finishes you feel so good but then when another starts itās a reminder of the whole journey.
Iām ranting on here, just hope everyoneās doing fine and am thinking of you all xxxx
Pauline xxx
Yeah, I get what youāre saying completely. It felt like finishing chemo was the end goal and then youāre like āOh poop, thereās sooooo much more left to sort out and do!ā Iām also more nervous about the long term drugs than anything. However, Iām reassured that the difference between the AIās/Tamoxifen/Ovarian Suppression/Ovarian removal are so negligible that I donāt need to sweat the choices anymore. Either way, theyāre all much of a muchness but with options to suit depending on which ones are tolerated best. It means we donāt need to feel disappointed if we have to change. Iām equally aware how lucky you can be to have just plain old bog standard estrogen receptive breast cancer and have the options. Iām trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
She did say treatment varies depending on stage and the marginal benefits. Mine was as advanced as it could be, without being Stage 4, so I expect theyāre optimising for that reason too.
I hope your radiotherapy goes well tomorrow. Iāll have everything crossed for you tomorrow!! xxx
Thank you for the well wishes for last chemo 
Good luck with radio @pollyanna1 and good luck for with your chemo on Thursday @swk1981
Iām sure someone on here mentioned finding new lump but I canāt remember who, just wondered how you got on? Iāve found a lump just to the right of where my original one was taken and Iāve got an appointment with the bcn tomorrow, Iām hoping itās just scar tissue as surely nothing could grow whilst having treatment feeling a little anxious but really trying not to over think,
Iāve also had an appointment come through to see radiologist Friday morning so hoping I will find out more details of what, when and whyās with my treatment going forward,
Also is someone else having last chemo this week too? Iām sure someone else was on a similar schedule to myself and Sarah? Xx
Good Luck @elle16
I had a lump but it was axillary and turned out to be a lymph node left behind but biopsy was negative thank god. Not sure if anyone had a boob lump.
Have you heard back on your brain scan or did I miss a post?
Everything crossed for them checking your lump! Xx
Iām sure it was isthisreal that asked about it last weekā¦. @isthisreal your chemo rescheduled again yet as well? Think it was delayed?