I’ve had my first day back at work today which was in a way nice to see every one but nothing has changed in their lives yet everything has in mine and it makes you so resentful at times, I know I have to learn to get over these feelings as it’s no ones fault but it’s not mine either, I’m so glad I’m not alone in feeling like this, I do feel like I’ve gone bloody mad at the minute!! I’m so strong and positive normally and I hate feeling like this, I’ve been on antidepressants and have had to stop them now I’m on tamoxifen and will be switched to another sort soon so I guess I’m having withdrawl symptoms, either that or I really am a nut case ?
Hi Nebsminty Glad your 1st session was ok. My 1st one this evening went ok, no pain or sensations, Just had to lay still for 10mins. I could have dropped off, if there wasn’t the whirring & beeps from the machine. I’m a morning person, so this evening after a day at work dealing with an office move - I’m shattered.
Fuffs123 You would have loved the person who sits opposite me at at work creating merry hell about the lack of paper in the new printers today. I thought really LET IT GO There are bigger things to worry about ?
I had a sad moment whilst waiting for the radiotherapy, thinking about my mum who passed away on 29 Dec Just before I was diagnosed, Mum had Dementia & had a double mastectomy in 2005 - same year our son was killed in a RTA,. I was sad that Mum is gone, but also sad cos, even if she was alive, there wouldn’t have been any point in telling her about my situation. Sorry for the long post.
Hi all,
Hope everyone OK on this beautiful sunny morning. Haven’t posted for a while as it’s all been a bit much ! My 89 year old mum had a serious heart attack so we spent a lot of time sitting by her bed while various nasty looking treatments were carried out. She is home now thank goodness. Certainly took my mind off the BC for a while!
Start radiotherapy on Monday. Fingers crossed nothing else unexpected happens before then - or during! Decided I don’t like 2015 much so far but hoping that spring means it will start being good from now on.
Love to everyone xx
Eileen, sorry to hear about your mum, I hope that being at home will help her with her recovery.
Sunflower, I’m impressed you’re squeezing in treatment after a day at work! Mind you, thanks to a crap company sick policy/crap HR and boss I worked through my chemo last year, trying to eke out the sick pay to cover surgery recovery and rads. But pay is all sorted now and I’ve decided to either not work or work at home over the next few weeks. I think it’s all finally catching up with me now as the walk to drop my daughter off to school this morning has left me utterly exhausted. I felt like I was walking through treacle at the end of a marathon with breathlessness thrown in for good measure.
You’ve had an awful few months and years in your family, that must be really hard for you.
To everyone getting annoyed with other peoples moans and groans, I totally understand! I think it’s another reason why I’m not working right now. Sitting in a hospital with people going through treatment and then going into an office where customers are complaining about a few hundred pounds or moaning about a lack of coffee machine would be just too much of a head spin.
Anyway, on a lighter note I’m off for my first hair cut post chemo :-). I was bald as a coot on Christmas Day, not a single eyebrow or eyelash to be seen. Now I’m sporting a very short hair do but am getting annoyed with bits curling over my ears so they’ve got to go!
Hope everyone is enjoying this gorgeous weather
2 of 15 sessions done today Same as yesterday, I could have fallen asleep given the chance. I finished work at 2pm today & drove the 3/4 hour drive to the hospital. Nearly left my Kindle behind, boy I would have been upset.
Eileen728, I’ve decided I don’t like years ending in 5! Hope your mum is on the mend soon. Keep us posted about your Rad treatment.
Nebsminty - TKU for your kind words. Enjoy your hairdressers appointment.xx
Evening everyone.
My treatment is at Weston park hospital Sheffield and they do a monthly ‘open evening’ so friends and/or family can see what the treatment rooms and equipment are like.
I went this evening with my fella for a look around.
Having been through all this years ago I must say there didn’t seem to be any difference. There are still cool laser beams criss crossing the room and huge ugly grey machines. But I think my fella found it interesting to have seen where I’ll be disappearing off to every day soon.
Hope everyone is doing ok especially those with extra additional worries on top of the routine bc stuff.
Hi I am new to the forum. I was diagnosed in Feb after being chosen at random for an early mammogram (not quite 50). I had no symptoms. I am so grateful for the team who have looked after me. My treatment has been quick and everyone has been so kind and friendly. I received the results of the biopsies on 19 Feb and had a lumpectomy and SLNB on 27 Feb. I was told the results on 17 Mar. A 10mm Grade 2 tumor with some spread to 16mm. Margins and lymph nodes all clear. Will start on Tamoxifen after rads have finished.
I start 15 sessions of Rads tomorrow. I feel quite anxious as I have quite sensitive skin and suffer from Fibromyalgia. Hopefully I am worrying about nothing.
I can’t believe it is only 10 weeks since I had my mammogram. Everything has happened so quickly (which is good) but it is also overwhelming at times.
I am finding reading the posts on this forum very helpful.
A.
Hi AG65
Welcome to the BCC forums, in addition to the support you have found here our helpliners are on hand with further practical and emotional support so please do call to talk any queries or concerns over. Lines are open 9-5 during the week and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000
I am posting a link to the treatments area of the BCC site where you will find lots of information and further support ideas :
breastcancercare.org.uk/treatment
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi AG65, welcome aboard! Gosh you have had a whirlwind of a time these last few weeks, no time at all to get your head around things. I’ve had rather too long a time (diagnosed last July) but still haven’t been able to accept that I’ve been very ill. The cancer didn’t do me any harm , it’s just all the treatment…
Sunflower, still can’t believe you want to fall asleep during treatment. I’m exhausted these days but find the treatment position too uncomfortable for 40 winks! Still 3 down now, only 17 to go. My skin is still fine but my scar is starting to look quite pink and blobby if that makes sense.
Hawk eye I’m pleased you’ve been given a stay of execution. The last thing you need is more damage to already damaged skin. Fingers crossed that you’re in better shape for Monday.
I’m loving all these meet ups you folks are having! All my appts have been at different times so I’ve yet to see the same people two days running. Maybe after another week or so I’ll recognise someone.
Hope you’re all enjoying good weather but keeping properly wrapped up as the drs order 
Session 3 done today Funny I didn’t feel like sleeping today Nibsminty, I know what you mean about the ‘bed’ not being comfortable, but I can sleep anywhere.
Rosemary & Judi Glad to hear you enjoyed your meet up. I haven’t seen anyone whilst at my appointments, just me in the waiting room. Although I was warned to make sure I don’t get up when they called another Clark!!
AG65 You will find a lot of support & advice on this forum. I’ve just counted the weeks since my mammogram - 15 weeks. It’s a lot to take on board isn’t it. But at least the BC was caught early - my lump would not have been found via self-examination as it was right at the back. Keep us posted on your Rad treatments xx
Good idea Rosemary I’m being treated at the Kent & Canterbury Hospital which is in Canterbury. I work in Ashford & live in Dymchurch 5 minutes walk from the sea & the sandy beach.
Anyone being done at Queens in Romford?
Hi all, I’m at University College London Hospital. Hawkeye I think our lovely Pandorra might be somewhere near you so hopefully she’ll pop up on the board again soon.
xx
Sharon
Hi all. Back home from my op which went OK apart from very high blood pressure before during and after, was in recovery for a long time, so OH was panicking. More amazing treatment from Glenfield Hosp in Leicester. The nursing care ther was in my opinion superior to the private hospital where I had my ear op on Monday. NHS, big appreciation, fed up of people slagging it off. Now which of the political parties will stand up and protect it.?
Anyway doc says I should be able to start my rads in a couple of weeks so hopefully I can get my planning meeting organised now. Still have the bone scan to do later this month and genetics appt in May. Love the idea of meeting up in London, never miss an excuse to go back to my home town! I will have to be an honorary guest, as I’m not been zapped yet (feel rather left out in the crazy way that BC gets you, lol) By the way, talking about party food, just watched a programme on BBC1 on food in the 50s, 60s etc and they were eating Vesta freeze dried currys. Anyone old enough to remember them like me ?!!! Hugs to all. Francine xx
Hi. Thanks to eileen728 for suggesting I join this forum.
I am due to start radiotherapy tomorrow. 3 normal (whatever that is) weeks and 1 boost week.
Have had planning and simulator scans. Will be going alone as hubby working but hospital is within easy walking distance so no parking worries like some of the ladies on here.
Sparkle xxx
Hi sparkle, I’m having 3 weeks plus 1 week booster as well. I was told the boosters were because of my age (under 50) and the fact that the cancer was more likely to come back.
I’ve just had my 4th dose today so we’re not too far apart
Hawkeye, I really enjoyed my trip to the hairdressers. Just having someone wash my hair and give me a head massage again was lovely. Since losing my hair I’ve discovered that I carry the bald look quite well so I’ve decided to keep it ultra short for the summer.
I’m having rads at the Royal Marsden in Surrey in their fantastic radiotherapy unit. It’s only a few years old and is like sitting in the foyer of a subterranean 4* hotel whilst you’re waiting! So different to the rest of the hospital which is pretty dire.
Hi Ladies,
Commenting on where I’m at today. I want to quit. I feel afraid of the long term side effects more than the cancer. My Radiologist says to fear the cancer more. Its a terrible death! Really now is he using a scare tactic on me? I feel like I don’t want the heart risk 10-15years from now. Or lung issue or lymphoedema etc.
I’m sore when I lift my arm all the way back to my left shoulder blade! And my chest is prone to sun poisoning (blisters) so its beginning to hurt not itch. But yesterday was 11/28 so am I like a little bit pregnant …meaning have I already done my body the damage I so fear? I wonder if there is any benefit from my 11 treatments if I quit? Sorry, I wish I was in a better place!
Sue
Hi Rose
I didn’t know Vesta still were still going! They were really the first ‘exotic’ food we ever had in our house in the 60s. Also the chinese take aways, all very exciting then. Makes you laugh now, with everything we have on offer. I’m a real foody and unfortunately my waistline reflects it! I’m a comfort eater so having BC hasn’t done me any favours there! Looking forward to us all meeting up sometime, must include some nice goodies to eat. Love Francine x
Hi everyone hope all ok.
Had my first session today at Nottingham City Hospital. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to hold my breath when they wanted me to but I was ok. Everyone was so friendly. I was also lucky as the rest of the appointments are in the evening apart from when I also have clinic appointments. This means the hubby won’t have to come out of work to take me. My breast felt quite warm afterwards though.
Thanks to Sunflower and Nebsminty for the warm welcome.
I also have fond memories of Vesta curries. It was quite a treat at the time. I don’t even like curry now!
Hi AG65. Just wanted to say welcome to the forum. It’s been a real life saver to me and certainly a wonderful support and point of light relief when things are not going so well. Keep in touch. X