My first post chemo check was with a specialist nurse at the hospital 8 days after my first session. Thorough examination, questions etc. I have another one next Tuesday, which again will be 8 days after my second session. I have a telephone appointment arranged with my oncologist a week after my third session. That will be the first time I have any contact with him since I started chemo on 12 August. Amazing how the trusts operate differently.
Anyhow I do seem to have got over this second one more quickly. Didnāt have that hungover feeling for too long. Stopped anti sickness meds Tuesday night. Bowels are ok. Keeping fingers crossed it stays this way.
Lilly sorry you are still suffering. Hope you feel well again soon .
Iāve got my oncology appointment on monday, bloods on Wednesday and 2nd EC on Friday. Its going to be busy.
Iām feeling really good at moment. Hair is thinning and i noticed that my underarm hair hasnt come back since i last shaved it over a week ago.
I keep bumping into people who I know and they are surprised to see my headscarves or hat. Itās a bit awkward. All my close friends and family know, but Iām starting to wish I had a tshirt saying āyes I am having chemoā so I donāt have to have the same conversation with so many people each day.
@lilly123 do hope you start feeling better soon . I had my consultant chat today (all have been via phone) before 3rd chemo tomorrow. Bloods were good so Iāve been fortunate.
Iāve been wearing my wig out and about but often feel awkward when itās obviously a bit thicker than my real hair, although the same colour and style. I tell myself itās whatever I feel comfortable with and most people donāt appear to notice. People who know will know itās probably a wig. Guess Iām just not totally comfortable with people probably speculating, especially when Iām then wearing a scarf another day. Anyone else feel like this? I also feel unreasonably irritated at people I only know a little asking a friend of mine how I am. They could just ask me! Is it the chemo making me irritable?!
On a more positive note, did the lgfb styling workshop today - colouring, body shape etc, which was good. Iām on the scalp care and hair regrowth one next Tuesday
Hi @anne3 Yes i do find myself at times allost loosing my temper over that kind of thing indeedā¦ sometimes Iām left fuming and i rhink to myself that is it really reason to feel that way? I do think treatment plays a part but i also think itās kinda of an outlet of feelings and things left unsaid, well at least to me. And Iām also good to go for tomorrow, cycle 3ā¦
@lilly123 so glad youāre getting there an improvement is an improvement, fingers crossed it only get better from here
To everyone eles, hope things are looking up for you xx
@dhmb. oh good hope tomorrow goes well. Weāve got to our 3rd treatment! Yes youāre right, suppose itās a cumulation of feelings in this weird unusual situation we find ourselves in. Never done it before so hard to navigate our way around! Weāre getting there!
Take care everyone!
@lilly123 sorry to hear you are having an issue with diarrhoea. I was prescribed loperamide and have used it a couple of times, it seems to be quick acting and could help.
Hi Anne3
It sounds like you have had quite a day!
Iām sorry you have this extra worry and hope someone will have some words of wisdom to share to support you.
Gill
Hi all
Iāve had an odd kind of day.
Breakfast with a friend and her daughter. Her daughter is currently having chemo for Lymphoma but we have many things in common with our treatment, side effects ect and I got a few good tips!
But then this afternoon I had an Occupational Health review requested by my work and although the lady was very caring and professional I found the experience upsetting and unsettling.
I had always planned to do some work on an adhoc basis as and when I feel up to it and had already done a couple of sessions. Nothing too much just clearing my email for a couple of hours at a time.
After taking to me for 20 mins she said her recommendation was that I am not fit for any kind of work and that it was obvious that I was not displaying enough self compassion. She thought both my mental and physical wellbeing is very low. she said she will report this back to manager and we will meet again in 3 months.
Before this meeting I thought I was handling this all really well but now Iām not sure.
I do find it hard to put myself first but Iāve been a busy wife and mother for 32 years. I normally work full time in a very demanding job with a team of 17 to manage. So I think this is understandable but itās really made me feel like Iām letting myself down in the self care area. I really thought I was doing ok.
Does anyone else find it hard to put themselves and there care first please?
I hope tomorrow is a good day for all x
Gill
Much like yourself, Iāve always put hubby and children first i was always thenlast in line so yes Iām sure many of us can relate but thentruth is if there ever a time to be "selfish " that is now. I say āselfishā but itās really self care, pretty much luke those safety demos on a plane: fursy you put your own oxygen mask on then you put them on your children, which nakes perfect sense because if youāre not ok you cant help others. Itās the same thing. Having said that, it is breaking a habit of 20+ years in my case, so i do get it. The expression i keep hearing a lot is āBe kind to yourselfā and itās true, not always easy to do because youāve wired differently. I found counselling to be extremely helpful with this and with my anxiety too and i can tell you tjis much, it is most definitely worth it, just like you are worth it. Would counselling be something you would consider? Itās weird to think of ut but i promise you it is worth it as i found iut it gives you tools to cope going through this battle but also realising you deserve a bit of self care.
Hi @gillian0808. I feel the same. Iāve always been someone who puts the needs of everyone else first. Iām a teacher and for the last 23 years i have worked extremely hardcat my career, often putting its demands before my family, but always putting it before myself. My school will struggle without meā¦i have a lot of roles and other staff have had to pick up my responsibilities. I feel bad about this. But then i tell myself, in 23 years Iāve barely had a day off ill. And the school will still be there when my current shit show is over.
I have 3 week cycles for chemo and for 12/21 days I have felt well enough to do work, but not well enough to be in work. I donāt know if to say to work that I could do some stuff at home, but i would want my sick pay extending if that were the case.
Iām still needing radiotherapy and a masectomy. I donāt see me back at work until april or may. I will be bored.
Iād say if occupational health are reviewing you in 3 months, use the time to rest, enjoy your good days and do things for you. When they see you again you will be raring to go!
Hi @bluesatsuma not sure if it helps and not sure if your school is local authority but Iām in a different job role for the local authority and on 2 weekly cycles. Currently I have wed-Fri off and then go back mon-Fri and mon/tues. I have the days off as sick days and the usual triggers for being off regularly is just ignored. Iām not sure if it would be different for you as itās over 7 days (self cert). But work has certainly given me something to do, I only work from home I do not go in. If I wasnāt feeling well Monday Iād also just have it as a sick day. We spoke to HR. I did have 8 weeks off for 2x surgeries, I was planning to go back after 1 but then 2 happened so didnāt make sense. Obviously itās entirely up to you but thought Iād let you know with my work itās possible.
Hope everyone else is doing as ok as they can. Iām reading avidly to catch up with everyoneās progress.
Iāve just done treatment 3, all the best for the couple of you I know go in today xx
Hi gillian0808. sorry you had to have this experience. I think maybe many of us are like this. Iām retired so donāt have the work pressure but I still feel guilty almost if I donāt achieve something in the day around the house/garden etc or in my voluntary roles. Nobody is expecting me to do things but ā¦. Maybe just try to use this time to care for yourself - seeing people socially is part of this too I think and being just a bit ānormalā. Itās such an odd situation to be in. I think I feel fine but sometimes realise Iām a bit on the edge and could burst into tears quite easily! I think if someone else tells you youāre not looking after yourself it feels like a criticism almost but is meant in your interests.
Sorry to go on a bit but hope you feel better today again. Weāre all with you! Back to sorting my bag for my 3rd chemo (already!). Take care xx
@gillian0808 100% find it hard to put myself first. Iām the manager at my work and I have an amazing team and Board, who all want whateverās best for me. I think my Board would much rather I signed off and concentrated on getting better but, initially, that felt like punishment, until I had round one and then I realised I do need to just focus on me getting better. I think the analogy of being on a plane and getting your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else is spot on but there is a concern about what youāll come back to and will you be needed, itās the sort of concern we could all do without. As tough people weāve been adapting and overcoming for ages, itās second nature but itās time to take care of ourselves, get the rest/space we need to recover, having said all that, Iām still working on taking that advice.
Thank you all.
It just knocked me yesterday as I thought I was doing ok but her probing questions obviously revealed something I must have missed.
I do feel guilty that Iām not working on my āgoodā days but even with just doing the basic household tasks Iām wore out each day.
I will try and be a better friend to myself and see if I can make some changes.
@gillian0808 weāve all just got to do what we need to to get through this āphaseā. Work will be there when youāre ready try not to feel guilty at all as youāve got to prioritise yourself.
For me work gives me some sort of purpose and allows some normality for me.
But our bodies all process this differently too and it may be that later down the line work is not the the right option for me either. Iām trying to go with the flow. Iām into a bit of a pattern with EC but whooooo knows what palictaxel will bring xx
Thank you @luc_12. My head rings me every week, so I will ask if we could plan for 5 to 7 days out of each 3 week cycle to work at home maybe. Hope you are managing the working from home well. X
. I had my consultant chat today (all have been via phone) before 3rd chemo tomorrow. Bloods were good so Iāve been fortunate.
Yes i do find myself at times allost loosing my temper over that kind of thing indeedā¦ sometimes Iām left fuming and i rhink to myself that is it really reason to feel that way? I do think treatment plays a part but i also think itās kinda of an outlet of feelings and things left unsaid, well at least to me. And Iām also good to go for tomorrow, cycle 3ā¦
Yes youāre right, suppose itās a cumulation of feelings in this weird unusual situation we find ourselves in. Never done it before so hard to navigate our way around! Weāre getting there!
try not to feel guilty at all as youāve got to prioritise yourself.