Thank you for your kind words.
I am dreading the op day on Friday. It is only a day operation, but I know how scared Rosie will be.
The really annoying thing is that I’m not allowed to go beyond the general reception area. I drop her off and then I must go. Then I’m called “to arrange pick up” (their words), like Rosie is an Amazon package at the post office. I’m really upset about it and so is Rosie. Just going into hospital is scary and unsettling enough, but this is a woman who probably has cancer, which may be aggressive, and who is absolutely petrified. She needs someone there to be with her while she waits. She’s a human being not a bl**dy parcel to be processed. I’m going to try and hang around as long as I can, I don’t care what they say.
Surely they must know how scarey this is for anyone?
Bob
Bob
I had my surgery privately and my husband was able to stay with me right up to the theatre doors, my friend on the other hand had to say goodbye to her family in the waiting room and she found it much easier to cope, she just got on with the practicalities of preparing for surgery as she didn’t have to try and be brave for anyone else or didn’t break down like I did, my husband found that very difficult to deal with as he couldn’t do anything to make it better, although he tried his best to reassure me. I’m not saying that’s how it will be for you and Rosie and I understand fully you want to be with her, I had to drop my husband in the waiting room when he had surgery following a motorbike accident and spent the day waiting for a phone call (it was a long operation), it was tough and i’d rather have been there with him than sitting at home clock watching, but his second operation at a different hospital I was with him up to the theatre doors, I think it helped me far more than him if i’m honest.
I’ve been a lurker on your thread for a while and know things haven’t been straightforward, thinking of you both on Friday, once you have some answers you’ll both start feeling that you have some control back.
Take care
Lydia x
Hello again,
I should really put this in another thread but I’m not sure which one so I’ll put it in here.
As you may know, Rosie’s op is on Friday. We will know if it is cancer and what type/grade a week later. It’s terrifying.
We had been trying for kids, despite me being 47 and Rosie 40. We thought we’d better get ourselves checked out to make sure we’re both still capable! We got both our results yesterday. It turns out that Rosie hadn’t ovulated that month but the doctor said that women of her age may not ovulate evey month anyway and the fact that Rosie is still having periods every month is a good sign.
However, it seems I am the problem. My sperm count is 0.5million. Not even one! The normal is 20 million, so mine is extremely low. Now, the doctor, not the most compassionate or patient woman I’ve ever met, had already seemed hostile to the idea of Rosie attempting kids at her age. She actually said, ‘You’re too old, really, and it would be better not to’.
Now I asked the doctor what I could do to boost my sperm count. She said, ‘Nothing. That is your count for life and you were probably born that way.’ I have since checked online and asked friends and many of them have said that they took tablets, cut out booze and caffeine, wore boxers, exercised, etc, and their count shot up!
Who am I to believe? Does anyone know the truth of it, and if so what can I try to help boost my count?
Bob
Just wanted to say that our friend was told the same thing (in terms of sperm count) and it is definitely worth looking after yourself, they now have a 2 month old wonderful boy, Conceived naturally (they bth ate healthily and gave up alcohol, and used the temperature thingie to track the most optimum time for her). This must be a difficult time for you both with so much going on, but remember it only takes one sperm to get through! For now also remember that statistics are just that, they are numbers that help create averages and baselines. I was a ‘late starter’ having my first at 39 and 2nd at 42, each person is unque and each partnership is unique. I wish you luck with both the op and results and your future together. cyber hugs to you both, Jayne
Hi bob, I’ve also been a bit of a lurker on your thread but felt I had to post when you mentioned fertility, now I’m no expert but I myself had fertility problems 3 years ago and I read & read & read up on it and researched etc. firstly as for Rosie, the fact is doctors test if a woman has ovulated on day 21 of her cycle, they check for progesterone levels which peaks 7 days after a woman has ovulated. They base this that every woman ovulates on day 14 of her cycle, which is silly in my eyes because not all women do. So it may mean that she DID ovulate last month, it could just be that she ovulated sooner or later than when the doctors checked for her peak, so please don’t let that result worry you too much. Now, for you, there are lots of vits, changes etc you CAN do to produce sperm, and also increase the mobility of it too, when doctors check the sperm count they should check the mortality (amount) and the motility (movement) you could have 20 million sperm but they could all have motility issues, on the other hand you could have a count of 1 million and have great motility…the latter would be more likely to work.
Zinc is a very good source for sperm production, eating healthy, cutting out alcohol and smoking is a big factor (apologies if you don’t smoke).
Just think it only takes 1 sperm and if you have 0.5 million of them you DO still have a chance, there is so much information on the Internet for you to look into regarding sperm counts and how to increase it naturally.
Hope that’s helped a little.
Faye xx p.s I really hope Rosie’s op goes well on Friday, will be thinking of you both xx
Hi Bob!
I can’t believe how blunt some doctors can be! Actually, sadly I can! I’m so sorry that you are having to worry about fertility as well as everything else. I don’t have any major advice other than what has been said already. Do some research and get as well informed as you can, maybe even a different doctor! Knowledge is power in my book.
I am thinking of you both as Rosie’s operation is upcoming. Try not to get too stressed about not being able to stay with Rosie on the day. I was left in the hands of the nurses and my sister in law had to go. I think in some ways it was easier for me than it was for her. When I had my bilateral mx she was allowed to stay with me until I went to theatre!
Hope it all goes well for her.
Viv x
Hi and thanks for your replies.
Jesmech - Thanks for that, it does help to know that others have been in the same boat and have succeeded.
Mummyto2 - You’re right. I am cutting out caffeine and booze and I’ve bought myself a bicycle! I have also begun to take Wellman supplements. Hopefully the next test will be better.
vivtwins - Yes the doctor was a bit blunt. I think she was also wrong about how sperm count cannot go up. I might well go to another doctor next time. And Rosie and I want to make an appointment with a fertility nurse at the hospital.
Thanks for all your best bishes for Rosie. The op is tomorrow and according to her breast cancer nurse we won’t know the results for two weeks! Another long angonising wait…
Bob
x
Hi bob. Been reading the thread and advice and support you are receiving . I hope all goes well on Friday . Does Rosie read the threads and seek support … ? I hope she feels able to.
Just to give you hope on the fertility issue , we tried so hard was so preoccupied for years of being able to have
a child , then at 43 I became pregnant only to miscarry 3 months later . We then decided to not be so preoccupied and felt
time had passed us by . In a way we just gave up…then at the age of 45 I gave birth to my gorgeous Erin cissie !!! Xxx
morale of story…stop trying …it may happen . And what a fortunate child that will be with such lovely parents and so wanted xxx god bless you both xx
Hi bob. Been reading the thread and advice and support you are receiving . I hope all goes well on Friday . Does Rosie read the threads and seek support … ? I hope she feels able to.
Just to give you hope on the fertility issue , we tried so hard was so preoccupied for years of being able to have
a child , then at 43 I became pregnant only to miscarry 3 months later . We then decided to not be so preoccupied and felt
time had passed us by . In a way we just gave up…then at the age of 45 I gave birth to my gorgeous Erin cissie !!! Xxx
morale of story…stop trying …it may happen . And what a fortunate child that will be with such lovely parents and so wanted xxx god bless you both xx
Hi Bob and Rosie,
Sending you both big hugs and strength to cope tomorrow. It does seem a long wait so take the newspapers, do the crosswords or sudokos together and just close your eyes from all that is happening around you and just have a little snooze in the big comfy seats. Take some big deep breaths. You know you love each other very much and we are all with you in spirit. Tracy xxx
Bob and Rosie,
I have lurked and read all the postings on your forum thread. They leave little else to be said other than we are all thinking of you both. Don’t forget to ring the Helpline if you have any worries … as you say they are a superb resource. My husband was put in contact with a Peer Supporter by them and he found chatting to another man whose wife had been through similar treatment to me such a help. He tells me he will volunteer to be one when they consider a new “intake"Ii think it has to be after a couple of years from my diagnosis.
Rosie might at some stage feel she is ready to join the Forums, especially if she needs chemotherapy. The " Having chemo in August” group I belonged to all met at the end of treatment. Some came with husbands or partners and we all had a fun hotel weekend. We all still stay in contact very regularly. Unfortunately because of the initial problems when this BCC forum was updated it is now mainly on Facebook ( which I dislike, but some of us have crept back on here a bit.) It does however help to know people are having tne same ups and downs as you. As for Forums in general. …This was something I never imagined doing…"who me, me join a forum…don’t be silly…I used to be a Breast Care Nurse, I know the answers, I don’t need it!!!.."i was heared to say. it was the BEST thing I ever did.
Big Hug for you both.
Cackles
Thank you for your good wishes for today. I’m taking Rosie off to hospital in about half an hour.
Irishdancer - Wow that’s an amazing story! Congratulations and thanks. Rosie doesn’t really want to talk about it that much. It doesn’t seem to help her. I guess we’re all different!
Tracy - We have the Sudoku book and plenty to read. I’ll stay with her there as long as the staff will allow. I’m then going home to buy some flowers and to clean the house from top to bottom. I know she’ll like that!
Cackles - Hi and thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. The support staff and members on BCC and the forums are fantastic and are really helping me.
X
Thats good I am pleased you have a plan of action for yourself Bob and yes every woman likes a clean home and a fresh vase of flowers in place. It will keep you busy and help you focus your thoughts, put some of your favourite music on and sing along if you can. Rosie will be well looked after.
Lots of love and healing thoughts to you both Tracy xxx
Hi bob
Ive read you thread and I hope all has gone well today with rosie, I’ve thought of her many times today. I myself am going through a horrible time. Biopsy came back aytpical ductal hyperphasia going towards low dcis. The wait is awful and totally get where you are coming from. I may have to have a masectomy sometime soon as area is quite big. Life moves along but you are stood still in a horrible nightmare. Hopefully today is a day closer to getting Rosie sorted and you can get on planning your family. Roll on happier times for both of us. I wish Rosie a speedy recovery after her op and take care of yourself too.Sending you both lots oflove.
Emma
Hi Bob and Rosie!
How did Friday go? You were both in my thoughts.
Hope it all went well and Rosie is home and tucked up recovering.
Fingers crossed for the biopsy results. Just be there for her as you have been doing and you can’t go wrong. This next 2 weeks are the worst, but as someone said don’t rehearse for bad news. You will take whatever you are told and will deal with it as bravely as you both have already.
Sending love and good wishes.
Viv xxx
Hello everyone,
Thanks again for your best wishes. You’re all lovely people.
This is just a note to say that Rosie’s lumpectomy went fine last Friday and she is recuperating well. She’s doing better than both of us had thought and is not even in that much pain. She was obviously totally zonked for a day or so but was soon up and about and getting on with things.
We were kept waiting at the hospital for a long time. Rosie was allowed a sip of water no later than 7am but was not operated on until 2pm, so had 7 hours in a toasty waiting room with zero water. By the time she was called she was so dehydrated they had to put her on a drip! Not impressed. But still, it’s done. That nasty little lump (whatever it is) is out.
We will not get the results for 2 weeks. By that time we will have waited 6 weeks in total just to find out what it is! That’s a long time to wait to find out if you have cancer, and possibly an aggressive cancer. We are coping by keeping busy and by getting things done. Rosie is an amazing person and I have nothing but love and admiration for the way she is handling this.
The consultant is fantastic, a really good man. As I said before he is sufficiently concerned about the look of it to think that it probably is a malignant growth, although he did say that they do get it wrong from time to time.
I wonder how many women have had hard, irregular lumps in their breasts that have turned out to be benign? Can women have calcium deposits in their breast ducts that build to become hard, irregular lumps? Or am I just clutching at straws?!
Bob
x
Hi Bob - it really is awful how they keep you waiting. I was called at 7.15 am for my ‘day’ surgery but didn’t go into the operation until 6pm! THere was no indication of where I was on the list so I was on edge for hours. When they tested me I was so dehydrated the nurse asked if I was diabetic - but no drip was offered. I was nil by mouth including water for almost an entire day. I was home by 9pm but found I couldn’t urinate (they didn’t check before discharging me) so ended up back in A&E on a catheter and had to have another general the next day due to haematoma. Then a three week wait for results. Luckily the chemo side of things has been less stressful and more organised but it did shake my trust in the hospital for a long time.
Wishing you and Rosie all the best
Nicola x
Oh, and you can have calcifications that are hard lumps in breast. This is what they thought mine probably was but it did show as cancer on the core biopsy, so I knew there was cancer prior to my operation. Until you get that definite diagnosis, I think it’s fair enough to hold out hope.
Hi Bob
Glad it all went so well. I know exactly about that dehydrated feeling it’s horrible. I was in hospital 9 days the last time and even drinking loads all the time, I still managed to come out dehydrated and it took about a week to feel fine again!
I can’t answer the question about lumps hard or benign. I was an avid checker and missed the 6cm one in my upper breast!
Keep us posted when you get the results.
Love and best wishes
Viv xxx
Hello Bob
I’m so pleased to hear that Rosie is resting well and she sure has a diamond in you to take care of her. I have been following your thread with interest…Im new to this site myself so still find it difficult to post about myself… I have my operation on the 27th also the sentinel nodes biopsy so Im dreading it… 6 weeks is definately a long time to wait… its drove me crazy with 3 weeks!!..i asked for a written summary from my consultant on the day I got my results as I just knew I wouldnt remember anything by the time I came out of his office… had a letter last Friday which blew me away… Im finding it hard to know that you have still got to wait to determine what it is…but reading through your posts the positiveness and forward way you have coped is amazing… without the love and support of my husband who just knows when I need a hug is brilliant… I dont even have to say a word… wishing you and Rosie all the very best what ever path you go down xxx