Yes there will always be upset and downs eh?
It’s a million times smaller. So that plays a part and maybe the stress of it makes it come out? I do tend to bring that sort of stuff out in people as well.
Yes re the bad days she’s taking something for it, but I don’t think me pushy footing around will help me much longer as I need to crack on so I can’t just not talk about work with her in case I upset her can I? Dunno re old Co. I’m seeing them next week I can see how I feel then I guess? Either way I feel like an idiot x
Yeah I hope so. I need to get over it. I don’t think our styles match that well maybe.
Nope not much this weekend. Might meet my friend for a walk. You?
Yeah. Will chill. Next two weekends are busy x
Hope you have a good weekend too xx
Lol
Sounds like you have a plan x
Hey sorry for the delay in responding, slept in and worked late! Did it make any difference? Or will it take a while to kick in.
Ooh just had another thought, the only alternative thing my oncologist recommended was homeopathy? She referred me to the one in London
uclh.nhs.uk/OurServices/OurHospitals/RLHIM/Pages/Home.aspx I had a consultation and to be honest haven’t really used it but might be worth considering. Do you feel better for talking to the doc? Hope the day has been ok xx
I’m sure you get the colds because you stop and your body goes ahhh! I always get them when I’m off work. Lol.
Nightmare re sleeping though. I struggled for ages and still do but it does get better over time. I’m glad going to the doc made you feel better, sometimes a different perspective helps. It is so hard to sit and talk to your husband though, I have found its best not to try and cover everything at once? Although its easier said than done when it all comes out? Hope the occ health thing goes OK. Do you think lighter work for one day is the solution? I know what you mean re transparency, it’s so hard when you’re honest, I always hate myself afterwards which is ridiculous. I saw my old team last night and was probably a bit too honest about the new job lol. Need to learn to keep my gob shut. But if I haven’t learned by now, is it likely to change lol!!
Getting on well with my colleague (touch wood) so will see how it goes. Hope the conversation at work goes OK today. Don’t worry about being honest, I think it’s worse if your not, and also they can’t help you with with your struggles if they don’t know what they are xx let me know how you get on xxx
Sounds hard going. How do you feel re work? Do you have a feeling of what would be best for you ?
Re your lovely hubbie I think we have established he can’t really deal with conversations about cancer related stuff at the moment. So in a way it’s not worth taking anything he says on board, which I know sounds harsh,but really he’s not saying anything helpful! You need to discuss options with him, not have him have an emotional reaction when you are explaining how you feel about stuff. It feels like it’s a question of picking your moment to talk to him about stuff. You need to be calm and everything else needs to be stable so that the cancer chat doesn’t throw him off kilter. I think it’s just a symptom of what you’ve both been through, he can’t deal with any more! Problem is, you have no choice, you have got to find a way to manage the after effects the best way for you.
Go against your better nature and try and be a bit selfish. No one is going to say ‘dont worry I’ll sort it out for you’ which is rubbish but there you go! I think you need to have a plan and just tell them what you want. Get them to reduce your hours for x months with a review after x, you need some sort of change to help you get back to speed. Sending you a big hug x
Sounds like you have a bit of a plan which I always find helps. Re your hubby I want saying you shouldn’t talk to him, but I was acknowledging that recently his response hasn’t been helpful, its like he can’t deal with the details and is getting bogged down with the ‘cancerness’ of everything, so he can’t help you solve a problem, just react to the enormity of it, if that makes sense? I think work is complex for you at the best of times, and therefore being exhausted must make it close to unbearable. I don’t know how you do it.
All OK here, re work, would you believe the bloke who recruited me has now left the business!! Very strange few days. Ah well! Not sure how I feel apart from a bit tired and numb lol. Just had mates hen do, which was better than i anticipated so that’s good. Hope you’re OK. Sending lots of love love xx
I’m glad you understand what I meant. I also know why you’re reining it in, I have had to do the same. It’s all a bit too dark and too real and too much sometimes eh? Re the work thing, there is nothing I can do is there? It does make me nervous as I always doubt my abilities anyway, but I need to just see. I’ve had one friend do the ‘you will be fine cause you’re always fine’ thing and tell me I’m looking for things to worry about in the situation which was annoying, as it feels sometimes like I can’t acknowledge my fears, I should just know I’m OK and the worrying is ridiculous. Hen was for an old friend I love (I’m bridesmaid at wedding next week) but don’t really know the friends and family as I’m the only one from our uni friends she stays in touch with. So all a bit weird in the sense of spending time with lots of people you don’t know. I find as I get older I am less inclined to spend time with people I don’t know/like so much. Lol. Hope you got some rest in the end. Sounds like your sleep is really all over the place xzz
Re work yes I know what you mean, I think the worry is actually processing so you know what you will be dealing with, makes you (me lol) feel a bit more prepared and not floundering on the dark.
Re sleep you’re on the home straight with the herceptin, go you!!! Nearly there!!! Maybe see how you feel, lack of sleep is definitely recognised as torture so dont be too hard on yourself. Can’t believe it’s nearly monday! Hope you are OK amd that tomorrow is OK too xzz
Sounds awful at work. Hope the rest of the week improves. I’m glad the occ health wrote that letter for you, is there any way you can escalate It?
Nothing is easy at the moment for you is it? Hope it improves soon. OK here, have new boss starting this week so will see what that brings!!
Take care of yourself please xxx
It’s so weird I’m not getting notifications on this thread anymore!
Anyway, sounds horrible there, hope it’s improved, sending you a big hug. Hopefully you can process everything over the weekend and feel better on Monday. Maybe you just keep escalating til someone Helps? How do you feel re using your hols up? X
Ps got my friends wedding this weekend, travelling up tonight so might not be online til Sunday xx
It was beautiful we were so lucky!!
Hope you’ve been able to relax this Weekend. I’m shattered x
Oh that’s crap re your scan results. Are you feeling OK? Fingers crossed for you.glad the weekend was good though. Didn’t sleep really as now have a slight cold, was dancing with my friends 3 year old niece at the wedding and she coughed into my mouth (was holding her) so with that and no sleep from busy weekend was a bit susceptible lol. Promised myself I would start exercising tonight and didn’t! Did dinner, the lunches and some washing, then coughed my head off so thought I’d be better off with a bath. I’ve taken loads of first defence so hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow.
Re work have you thought any more about thr holiday thing? Or no time with everything being rubbish? Xx
Well hopefully that will help in March. Ibhope that and the scan aren’t getting you down too much.
Yes they are in Mauritius! Lucky things. Didn’t sleep, really annoying. Cold is coming out lol. Xx
Ooh fingers crossed they are doing something that actually helps. All OK here thanks xxx
Sounds better! How are you feeling? You sound more positive. Yay big hugs. X
Yeah OK I think. Still feel strangely numb about it all lol.
Ah well I guess it’s helping me managing my stress x